Go with your Gut on this one - help solve a family conflict?

Question

I have two sisters. Corrie has 2 kids, 4 and 6. Kelly has a 1 year old.

Corrie is always giving her used stuff to Kelly (crib & changing table, clothes, etc.) Recently she gave Kelly a big box of hand-me-down toys.

A few months later, Corrie's 4 year old asked where one of the toys was because he missed it. Corrie asked Kelly if the baby uses it and she said no.

So Corrie asked if she could have it back and she said yes. Then something happened and suddenly now Kelly's saying that the baby loves it and she's going to keep it.

I can see both sides, but i think I see one side a little more. What do YOU think should happen?

Answer 1

Well, when you give someone a gift, a transfer of ownership has taken place, so technically speaking, Corrie has no right to the toy.
However, when she asked for a toy that Kelly's child was not using be returned, it should have been.
BUT if Kelly's child really is enjoying it, and is in possession of it, it is not fair for it to be taken away. I am sure Corrie's child is not consumed by her want for the toy. When she asks for it again, she should be told that since she was done with it, it was passed on to her baby cousin who is now enjoying it and she should be commended for being generous and sharing it with the baby. Perhaps Kelly could get Corrie's child a small gift to thank her for the baby's "new" toy.

Answer 2

Kelly should have the toys. Corrie should explain to her four year old that his/her cousin likes the toy a lot and it's only fair since the toy was already given away. That's the way I see it. The minute you give someone something [hand-me-downs or gifts] it's the other person's object. It really isn't right to ask for something back once you've already given it away. If the child really loves the toy then Corrie can go out and get her child the toy again. Corrie should have thought about all of this before she gave the toys away. I don't know if this is how you feel but that's my gut instinct. Best of Luck!

Answer 3

Well, although she did give the things away, I think Kelly should give the toy back. She first said that the baby didn't use it, anyway, so why didn't she put it aside until Corrie got it back?

What's more, considering Corrie is always giving things to her sister, I really think Kelly should give that one toy back. I don't know, she could be a bit more thankful for what Corrie does.

Also, Corrie gave the toy away because she thought her kid didn't play with it anymore. She made a mistake. Fine. So what? Kelly DID say she would give it back.

And, once again, Corrie gives her plenty of things. If it had happened to me, I would have given the toy back straight away. I would be ashamed not to! Plus, the baby is only 1! He'll forget about it in 1 day! Sounds like your sister Kelly is a bit of a ***!

Answer 4

This is tough
well... corrie has right as in being the innocent one a this situation makes her look better but Kelly has the irghts to the toy.
I would say Kelly should be the one to either give back the toy or pay fo a replacement. this is because the toy is not the only thing that Corrie gave her, she should be happy with everything else she got from corrie or this situation is going to make her look really selfish.
Kelly could also benefit from giving the toy back. she is much more likely to recieve more stuff from corrie if she does the right thing

overall, both Corrie and Kelly would benifit from Kelly giving it back or replacing it

Answer 5

I think Kelly should give it back. As you mentioned, Corrie is always giving things to Kelly some items are pretty big (crib and changing table). If the baby loves it, she should use the money she saved on not having to buy a crib and buy the toy herself. I think she is being pretty selfish to keep a toy that belongs to the 4 year old. She should keep in mind that someday her child will be four and how would she feel if it was her child that wanted the toy back.

Answer 6

I think Kelly shouldve given it back - that baby cant be that attached to it since 5 minutes before it seems it wasnt even playing w it. The older child obviously would be more attached to it(based on age and length of memory alone) and the child shouldnt be punished for the mother giving away a toy too soon. Someday Kelly might find herself in Corrie's shoes and I am sure if her child really wanted a toy back she would try to get it for him/her.

Answer 7

hey stuff like this happens all the time i think that corrie should just buy her kid another toy that looks just like it since she gave her toys away thats her fault that one of her kids wants it back and the kid dont know what happend to it. or maybe kelly can buy corries 4 year old a new toy that looks like it i mean there sisters theres no need to start fighting over a toy. they should just go out and buy a new one its just a toy.

Answer 8

Have Kelly buy her sister a new toy. Seems fair, for what Corrie has done for her.

I am not saying this answer is well thought out, or even what I would do, but it's the first thing that popped in my head, lol. You wanted gut, you got it :):)

Good Luck

Answer 9

Corrie could be making a lot of money on all of the used stuff, selling it on ebay or having garage sales. She chooses to help her sister out, and Kelly should have enough decency to give it back. Corrie made a mistake-Kelly should give the toy back.

Answer 10

Well on principle I'm with Kelly. The baby may not play with it, but Corrie gave them to her. Did Corrie give toys away that the kids were still playing with? If so, that was wrong. If she gave away toys that the kids hadn't played with in awhile, I find it hard to believe the 4 year old suddenly remembered it.

Hope they work it out.