I miss my cat so much that it hurts. How do I cope with it?

Question

My cat died in a car accident 4 weeks ago. I cried an ocean of tears - he was such a special character and I miss him terribly. Every time I think of him or drive pass that place where it happened tears roll down. It probably sounds weird, but he was probably the closest creature in my life and we had a strong bond. Some friends say that he was a substitute of a child. May be. it just feels like a hole in my heart and I am wondering if it would ever dissappear...

He loved outdoors more than anything. I did not want to let my cats outside (we have other 2 cats), but my husband pursuaded me that cats need to have their outdoors. I think he is wrong though.

Answer 1

Oh, I am SO sorry for your loss. I know there are no words to say that can mend your heart right now. Please find some comfort in knowing that everyone that has ever loved a "furbaby" knows exactly the loss you are feeling. They are just like our kids, aren't they? And it will hurt for quite awhile. I went through a long drawn out illness with a very special cat of mine many years ago and he finally died in my arms, at only 12 years old. I didn't think I could cry that hard, it was horrible. My husband wanted to get a kitten about 3 months later, not so much for me but because the cat that died left behind his mate who would walk the house all day and meow for him, it was horrible. I really resisted the idea, didn't want it to seem like I was getting a replacement because nothing can replace what you lost. But after we got our kitten, he was like a little BandAid on my heart, it really helped me and the other kitty in our house.
Also it helps to be amongst others that know exactly how you are feeling. I found a fantastic website that helps with pet loss. I'll post a link here and be sure to read the story of the Rainbow Bridge, it's very, very special. I printed it out and laminated it with a picture of my cat on it to give to our two young children at the time, to remember him by. Good luck sweetie and God bless you!
Here's a link: www.petloss.com

Answer 2

Been there, felt that too many times. I have a little 17 year old gray and white angoraaa (she did that...I swear) pound purry sitting on my lap as I write this. Best kitty I ever had, and have had many over my 61 years. I'm a guy by the way. Every day I think about how I will feel when I finally lose this beautiful companion of mine. We have 2 other cats, but their personalities are so different that they will never come close to being a "replacement". Take my word for it, each cat is "one of a kind". The only thing I can suggest is go to the local animal shelter and find a furry that you might be able to bond with. Those animals are in need of a home. You can give a life a new life. That alone will ease your loss because you made a difference. Rescue, spay or neuter. Keep your new pound purry friend indoors and give lots of love. It will be returned in the form of a warm lap and pleasant memories of what once was.

Answer 3

I am so sorry for you, Alyssa Macey. It is SO hard to lose a pet. I really sympathize with you.

I have lost a few pets over the years, and it was devastating. But I did make it through that sadness, and I think that you will too.

There isn't an easy solution, but you will feel better over time. After awhile, you will remember the happy times with your pet, and you won't remember the sadness as easily.

Some people really don't understand the bond that a person can have with a cat or a dog. You are a very lucky person to know that happiness, and you did a wonderful thing by giving your kitty such a happy life.

Try to think about the happy times when you think of your little friend. It will help you feel better...

Answer 4

I fest the same way when my dog passed. He was my best friend. He loved me not matter what. When I was sick or upset about something, it seemed like he understood and tried to comfort me and he never judged me like people do. I cried for a month straight. My husband finally convinced me to get a puppy, so I did. No other dog could replace the one that passed, but I have found that my new puppy or dog now, was the best thing helping me get out of my depression. She and I are just as close if not even closer than my boy was. Sorry for your loss, I know how it feels. It really is like losing a child. Try getting a new kitten, I think it would help.

Answer 5

i am so sorry to hear of your loss. you are right . we had our 13 1/2 year old out to sleep on 2-8-07. it was like thre was a giant hole in my heart and in our house. please don't let the others out. they could get hurt too. outside cats have a shorter life expectency than indoor cats. as far as still crying, your still grieving. like your little guy was your baby, our little girl was my baby. it has gotten to the point where i cnlook t her pictures, or recall some things that she did and i don't cry other times,gimme the box of tissues. the only thing that will help is time, time and more time. we also went and got another cat to help us ease the pain,since ours was the only kit. try to remember the good times and also this i one thing that helps me cope...your little furry friend would not want you to be sad, but to love the other cats,and be happy. look up the poem "the rainbow bridge". i hope you feel better soon.

Answer 6

I'm sorry to here about your cat. I know what you are going through. Best way of dealing with it is to get another cat and keep him/her close. It does get better. I have 6 cats now, but over the last 5 years I have had about 60. Some have died and the rest went to homes. When I lost those cats I cried alot, but I think of the times I had with them and it makes me laugh. Plus I have pictures I look at. But like I said "It does and will get better."

Answer 7

Oh, Sweetheart! Yes, I have some idea where you're coming from: I bawl like a baby when my kitties die too.

Every last one of them is special. There will never be another one like your friend. He chose you to spend his life with, and no one will ever know him quite the same way you did. You will know his favorite spots and his funny quirks, his little language of purrs and meows.

When we had a place where we could bury our pets, we planted special flowers or shrubs with them too. For one cat, it was Sweet William. For another, it was a Flowering almond.

For another kitty, by the time he died, my nephew was old enough to understand that he wasn't coming back. And it upset him badly. So I sat down with him and helped him draw pictures of our kitty.

We also talked about special moments in the lives of our pets, or wrote about them.

Go ahead and grieve: 4 weeks is not that long, and of course it will hurt. But don't forget the good things you shared.

Answer 8

I know exactly how you feel... my cat that my parents had had since before i was born died a couple of years ago and it was one of the hardest things i ever had to go through becuase i grew up with him.... but the only advice i can really give you is to give it time and when you feel like its time, get a new pet.... i got my dog a year later and got my new kitten last april and they are both the joys of my life..... sorry for your loss but itll get better over time i promise!

Answer 9

maybe you should go to a pet store and look for a cutie kitten that des look like youre first cat but might be new for you first time . but you should think about it maybe you and youre husand can go together and buy a another kitten so that you wouldnt able feel more upset not having youre dying cat beingin there for you . but if you do get a little kitten that does have the same color as youre first one maybe you can start over and raise the new one the same way you use do like youre died cat . might not feel as same but still might help you alot .

Answer 10

i'm sorry to hear about your cat's untimely death. i understand what you are going through. try to think of the good things you shared with your kitty instead of the sad times. he is in a much happier place now anyway. i suspect you will get over it soon and eventually get a new pet. if you do, DO NOT let it outside so the same thing can happen again.