Is my ex depressed our was I the cause of her unhapiness?

Question

My ex ended things 1 mth ago having been together 8 mths on the basis that "her feelings had changed". She has a history of depression & also suffers from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/SAD.

In the mth prior to the split I notice her being very down. This had happened on 2 previous occasions. The 1st time, I asked if she was ok & she said she was unsure about us & then told me to ignore what she said as she had been "a bit down & it makes her irrational"

The 2nd time I notice her being very insular & I asked if she was ok. She again said she was unsure about us. We both got upset & she said she hated it when she was horrible to me and wanted to give me a chance to get out as she felt she "held me back". I told her I had never thought that.

I pressed her & she admitted she was depressed & went to her dr who gave her prozac & referred her for counselling. 1 wk later she said us was the cause & she wasn't depressed & didn't need counselling.

Is this depression??

Answer 1

Uh, no way. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Sounds like she needs counselling and is too afraid to do so. You are the scapegoat sugar. Run and pray she gets help.

Answer 2

First up what a nice guy you are for being so caring even after the breakup, good on you!
You have only been together a short while and it does sound as though she came into the relationship with some baggage. Long-term, you are better away from this situation as it will bring you down and make you unhappy - especially when there is nothing you can do to change the situation. That may be cold comfort as you obviously care about her. You need to accept that the time is not right for her to handle intimacy. You can choose to wait or move on, no-one else here can help you with that choice, but listen to what everyone so far has said, this is not about you, you did not cause her unhappiness, it was already there. Be happy.

Answer 3

My ex husband was a manic depressive, it is different but it does sound like some of the things he went through in a depressed stage. She may not be taking the right dosage in her meds or needs something different. Definitely counseling with a licensed psychiatrist, they are more able to determine the patients needs and understand the meds better. I won't lie to you, if things work out for you, staying with her will be very hard, so make sure you are really committed before making a final decision. She will need someone in her life she can count on through thick or thin.

Answer 4

Hi, you probably know if your ex is capable of lying? But I think, she must be depressed, the doctor would not prescribe Prozac unless it is absolutely necessary. Maybe other areas in her life and your relationship is getting her down, it could also be related to hormonal changes when her periods are due. Depression is awful, people suffering and trying to wade through it, cannot rationalise, she probably feels guilty for bringing you down and feels that she is better off on her own.
It must have been exhausting for you.
I think its important to offer support, but you need to be around happy, positive people and start living your life.You cant hold the question mark hanging over your head, you need to let go and move on. Hopefully she will get well and who knows, maybe you guys could work things out. I wish you both, peace and freedom from her depression.

Answer 5

well it depends,u have known her 4 8 mths n really u should get an idea,she cud b depressd,or she might not b,dont contact her 4 at least 4 mths,n if she gets in contact with u after then,it prob is depression,if she dosent then at least u know ur answer n u can move on in ur life,we all get down from time 2 time,but ur not gonna find out truely until uve had a break 4 at least then,n c if she contacts u,but either way ur not 2 blame

Answer 6

Odds are yes, she is depressed. If a dr gave her an anti-depressant she is feeling depressed.
I think you have done all you can in this relationship and need to only help her as a friend. Tell her to go to a counselor and just see what happens.
It's NOT because of you. Anything that happened between you two could have made her feelings of depression come to the surface but it's not your fault. She needs to fic herself before she's able to be ina healthy responsible relationship.

Answer 7

Whether or not she was depressed really isn't the issue here. The issue here is whether or not she was ever truly in love with you. I suffer from clinical depression and I've never told my husband I didn't want to be with him. I have, however, used my depression as a way to get out of a relationship I wasn't happy with. I was a compassionate person and I never wanted to hurt anyone's feelings, so I would tell them that I was so depressed it would be in their best interest to leave before it got ugly. No one needed to be asked twice. From your description of your relationship I would say that you were the only one really trying. She told you three times she didn't want the relationship and only backpedaled when you pressed her. It sounds to me like she ended it because she wanted to, not because she was depressed. However, I'm just giving you my perception of the issue as a woman. Without knowing both of you it is really hard to say definitively yes or no to your question. But, I think you got really lucky. Chalk it up to stupid female hormones and move on.

Answer 8

A great way to get your ex back is https://tr.im/ywT8y

They might realize they need you and come crawling back!

If you do get back together, don't let the same issues that destroyed your relationship crop up again. Have a good, long talk about how you're both going to make it right this time.

Answer 9

i am a sufferer of deep depression,there are many different types and levels of it,i also suffer with cfs,cfs in its self can cause mild depression,in my opionion it sounds to me that she doesnt so much as suffer from depression,but that she was unsure on the relationship from the begining,you are trying to find a reason to why you broke up,sometimes you can love somebody but not able to live with them if you get my meaning.i am sure your girlfriend has depression to a level otherwise her gp would not have prescribed anti depressants and counciling,but i personaly think there is an under currant of something else,it could be as simple that she was confused about her feelings,or understanding them...try and talk to her,,honesty and understanding is always the best answer...take care.

Answer 10

properly i won't be able to supply a correct analysis yet from what you shared it appears like she is having depressive moods and may want to be tormented by melancholy. The melancholy might want to be triggered by her health or maybe there's a historic previous of melancholy contained in the relations. From what I have discovered those with melancholy have a tendency to over study their lives and maximum opt for now to not hunt professional help and in the experience that they do maximum do no longer stay on the meds prescribed. until eventually she is feeling extra useful you is actual no longer able to have a sturdy relationship. at the same time as she is feeling extra useful she might want to comprehend that that is melancholy and by no potential the relationship. yet you want to entice close that it truly is hard being with someone who suffers from any variety of melancholy. it truly is a committment to face by someone and be supportive even although you do not realize what is going on. you could advise to her to bypass back to the physician or to take her meds yet contained in the suited it truly is as a lot as her.