His mom or me?

Question

Hey Everyone...

This is my very first time posting, very nice to meet you all. Where do I begin? I am emotionnaly torn, I feel hopeless, inconsolabe and haven't smiled in days. All I want to do is be alone, but slowly I'm losing my sanity. I met a guy, four years ago, and in just two weeks of knowing him, we kept a long distance relationship for 4 years. It was terrific, we saw each other every 2/3 months... except that recently. 7 mnths ago, his traditional Indian parents thought I was not the ideal person for him. We have the same cultures, same religion, the only thing is I don't speak Hindi. Being the only son, and his mother dying slowly from cancer, he is oblgiated to fulfil their wishes and find someone other than me thati fits into their "ideal daughter-in-law" image. I have waited for months for him to put his foot down and let them know he will not chose between them or me, rather they will have to accpet that we are going to be together.Did I make the right decisiom?

I decided to end the reationship, he's too confused and doesn't have the gutts to stand up to them...now I regret but maybe I did the right thing. What do you think?

Answer 1

Hello to you and let me say my heart goes out to the both of you. I am sure that you are not going to like my answer but never make a person chose between you and their mother. I don't know if you are a Mother, but could you make a choice and never speak to your Mother? That is very, very unfair. And honey, his Mother is dying a slow painful death. I have lost several family members from cancer, it is awful to have to watch and witness someone you love slowly deteriorate to death. Now you have also placed yet another burden on his. I say back off and let him spend time with his Mother. There will be plenty of time for the two of you. After all, if you two truly have love then he will return. Don't ruin a good thing by being selfish. Good luck and my thoughts and prayers are with each of you.

Answer 2

Aww this is so sad. I think though you made the right decision. He will see in time that he needs to put his foot down and if he really loves you he'll come back. He can't let his parents run his life and he needs to realize this isn't fair to you and I don't think you should have to change anything about yourself. I hope everything works out for you.....

Answer 3

mayb try and pursuide them-- can u learn to speak hindi-- talk to them if u can try and get them to see and meet ur personality
u never know--they may change thier minds about u