does this make me a terrible person??

Question

i dont want this child im carrying and told the father that i would sign over my rights to him and even pay him child support..i dont want to get an abortion and this was not planned..any suggestions without all the bashing..thanks!

Answer 1

Why not look into adoption? There are plenty of people that would love the chance of adopting a newborn. My friends have been waiting forever to get that call.

Answer 2

That's actually the best thing you can do if you don't want this baby. It's better than getting an abortion, and it's better than trying to raise a child that you resent, I see people all the time who have kids they resent and they treat the kids like crap and the poor things live a miserable life. It's good that the father wants the baby and that you are willing to let him raise the baby, and it's commendable that you want to pay support. A lot of girls would just have an abortion and ignore what the father of the baby wants. You sound like you are going to do the right thing, not like a terrible person. Let the baby grow up in a loving home with his father, but I will advise you not to totally sign away your rights as a parent. Give him full custody, but have it put in that you might want visitation some day. Even if right now you don't feel like you would want visitation, you might feel differently some time in the future. Good Luck.

Answer 3

You are doing the right thing by not getting the abortion. Good for you! Not many people now a days would take that step. If the father wants the child, then you are on the right track offering him rights and child support. If he does not, you can always put the child up for adoption.
My only concern is that the child will want to see you if living with the father - or that the father would tell her that you didn't want it, as opposed to saying that you weren't ready to be a good mom or something.
Otherwise, my applauds on doing the best you can for the child.

Answer 4

Look honey...if you really don't want the child then doing as you've planned isn't a bad thing & it doesn't make you a bad person....hell, guys do it all the time & never pay any child support......The only thing I would say is hold off signing over any of your rights until your child is born.....so many times a mind can be changed.....
Everyone will have their own opinions about what your intentions are, but it's your business no-one elses.....it's better than keeping the child when you really don't want to & end up rearing him/her in a home full of resentment......

Answer 5

My dear, please delay making such a major and life changing decision until you have given birth and get to see your baby. Imagine those sweet, innocent eyes looking at you adoringly. I don't know if I would call you a bad person but it is a very sad thing that you are considering. Sweetheart, what if you decide later that you actually love this child? Would you want him/her to find out that Mommy never wanted him/her and was willing to give him/her away just like that? Not to make you feel guilty, but don't make this decision while you're under stress and unable to think clearly. Even if you don't love the father, you'd be surprised at how much love you're capable of feeling, knowing that the child is also a part of you. If after all of this you still decide to sign over rights to the baby, bear in mind that you may be creating a child who may suffer emotionally later on when he or she learns of the circumstances. Maybe the dad will be the better parent and I commend you if you already know your limitations but please hold off a bit longer and see if your feelings change after the birth. Much luck to you.

Answer 6

At least you are having the baby and not getting an abortion. I think you are doing the right thing but only if the father really does want the baby. make sure that he's going to be a good dad before you sign anything over to him. If he wont make a good father..there's always adoption. I was adopted and I wouldnt change my parents for the world.

Answer 7

Well if you dont want the baby and he does then it sounds like a good idea to me. I would think it owuld be best that the child remain with a parent if the parent wanted it. I am glad you chose life not an abortion. Even if he changes his mind there are people who would love to adopt. You may even change your mind and decide you want the baby. You still have time till the baby is born to make a decision. Dont rush it think it through and Good Luck.

Answer 8

no it does not make you a bad person. I am sure lots of women feel the way you do. I did.

You have to realized that you will have some contact for the child. Are you sure the father will take the responsibility and not put it back on you after you have the kids.

There is the option of giving the child up to an agency for another family who can not have kids to chance.

I hope you make the right the choose for you.

Good luck

Answer 9

Honey, I feel for you. Right now you're just at that point in your life where you feel that you aren't able to support your child. A lot of people do this and it's good that you have not chosen abortion as an option. If the baby's father is a responsible man, then yes, it is most logical to have him raise the child. There are thousands of couples that would love to adopt a baby because they can't conceive. But let me tell you one thing, once you see your baby, it's gonna be hard to let go. Right now, because it's inside of you, you really don't have feelings, but remember, when it comes out, it'll cry, it'll breathe, move, eat, potty and more. Once you see it's resemlance to you and the father, it's going to be hard to let go. Honey, think about it. When you sign your child over, you going to miss first walks, first baby teeths, first words, first smile, pre school, school, graduation etc. You know that the baby will come looking for you if you not actively in it's life and you're gonna have to explain why you couldn't be there for them. It'll be hard, especially if you plan to marry and have kids with your hubbie. But most importantly, remember that your child is prescious and it's not it's fault for being concieved! Don't just treat it as a problem and get rid of it, really consider what's really best for you, the baby's father, but most importantly, the child. Good Luck!
A.L.

Answer 10

Being honest with yourself is a very good start.

You and the father should sit down and talk about
what you both want to do. If he wants the kid
and you think he would be (or could grow into)
a reasonable parent, your decision is easy.

If you think he would be a terrible parent, you
might want to try to convince him that you both
should put the kid up for adoption.

If he doesn't agree with you, then you may end
up with a custody suit - as soon as the child is
born, he is assumed to have equal parental rights
to you.

That is, you may end up trying to gain total
custody just so you can give the kid up for
adoption.

However, the best solution here is one that you
both reach.

The *LAST* thing you want is for him to try
to gain custody of the child just because you
told him he would be a bad parent. That is,
his pride may make him exceed what he is
practically capable of taking on.

Talk it out WITH HIM.

No, you are not a bad person. If you don't
feel you should be parenting a child, then
the rest of the world should listen to you.

Answer 11

That's very wise if you don't want the child and can't take care of it, make sure that it will have a good home. Maybe you will even get to see the child grow up without having to worry about its next meal. But next time, well...... you know, be careful. The child will want to know who you are so try to stay in its life. If the father doesn't want it try open adoption.