Extremley Depressed?

Question

Ok so ive been depressed for a year but since December its gotten to the point that im feeling suicidal. I'm soo depressed its not even funny, i feel weird, i dont feel normal at all. i feel like theirs so much wrong with me, im soo scared of dieing, i think im dieing all the time of cancer or some disease and i dont know why.i think the only thing that would cure me is if the doc's ran tests on me to make sure im completley healthy, but i know if i ask them to do so, they'll think im crazy an just tell me im fine and put me on anti-depressants, and send me home. Christmas eve was the worst for me and it shouldnt have this is how bad my depression is, i went to my dad's for christmas this year and the family were having q christmas party at my aunts, i havent seen most of my family from my dad's side in like 7-8 years and some of them more, anyways, i was excited to go there and what not but as soon as i got to my aunts, depression hit me right in the face, it was horrible.

I felt like i didnt belong, i felt like i was dead already and i felt reallllly sad, i was doing everything to keep my tears back from spilling out. i wanted to break down and cry, (my dad or any of his fam. know bout my depression)..my dad could see there was something wrong and i didnt wanna be there so he had taken me back to his place, i went to my mom and called up my mom and completley broke down cuz shes the only one who knew about me being depressed, i wish she would of explained to him what was going on with me b4 i left to go there.anyways..what i mean is, im really confussed and scared, i ask myself the same thing everyday, and that is "What is the meaning of life"? i dont understand what it is, people say its to learn, but i think thats Bullshit cuz your gonna die eventually. so anything you learned is gonna be gone when your dead anyways,i guess thats what depresses me, i dont feel the need to wanna go out and do anything, the only time im happy is when im at work. :( help

wow, im sorry its so long, i really need to get alot out =[

Answer 1

Go to the emergency room and get treatment as well as a referral to the appropriate doctor. Suicidal thoughts are nothing to mess with - once they come into your head, sometimes you cannot control where those thoughts go. With the proper help and treatment, this can go away. You need a different doctor.

Answer 2

We all have to face dying sometime, but that is a long, long time from now, and you can not only have a lot of fun, and experience much pleasure, but you can also accomplish a great deal, help many other people along the way, and leave behind a lasting legacy, children, and possibly a bequest to your favorite charity or worthwhile cause, as well as to remember your family and friends in your will. It is implicit in quantum theory (without which you would not have your computer) that there are infinite trillions of you, each slightly different, living different lives in seperate universes, but we only ever get to see and experience them one at a time, so you have many trillions to go, yet (minus about a quarter of one of them). A large and growing proportion of the population experience some mental problem during their lives, and there is no shame in doing something about it, and the best place to start is by seeing a doctor (possibly one who doesn't know you) and getting diagnosed properly, then receiving appropriate treatment. Whether that involves medication, or counselling, it is a good idea to practice for 20 minutes daily, or when the depression recurs, the meditation technique described in: http://www.healthyplace.com/communities/ Also see: http://www.beattheblues.info/? and www.depression.com/- and the blogs of Shan Eris on "tackling depression" at www.myspace.com Eat a balanced diet, exercise daily, and keep yourself occupied.

Answer 3

Hi Erica,
Depression is very real and hard to deal with if your trying to deal with it on your own. No doubt you need a supporting cast like a Counselor or Psych. to help you throught these tough times. The side effects of depression is thinking that there are more things wrong with your health but in actuality its just a mind trip caused by your depression. And suicide is a permanent fix to only a temporary problem. You are not alone, many many people struggle with depression including me. We all need help sometimes in our lives. And some "normal" people need meds sometimes to help with things and some dont. Just take some advice from a professional as soon as you can.
God Bless you sweety!

Answer 4

I can relate to how you felt with your dad's family. It is a hard thing to go through, but you need to face your pain in order to get through it. It is probably more complicated than you think, the whole situation needs to be sorted out clearly for you. Feeling like an outsider in your family is very painful, and I speak from experience. I hope you will find a good counselor to help you work through this. You can get through it, and come out the other side. I wish you all the best.

Answer 5

Depression is due to an imbalance in brain hormones, so they say. From my experience, my depression was due to an imbalance in my insulin that was causing low blood sugar (hypoglycemia) which can be a cause of depression too. The doctor can do a 5 hour glucose tolerance test (not as bad as it sounds, just boooorrrrring), or a 3 hour with fasting blood insulin test, or you can check yourself out.

The website, www.hufa.org has info on how you can self-check to see if you have low blood sugar caused by insulin imbalance. Check out the symptoms link and see if you have more than just depression. And, if you want to, e-mail me through my profile, cause I think I know what you are going through, having been there myself.

Answer 6

I would suggest talking to a counselor. I am working on my B.A. in psychology, so I do have knowledge in the area of mental health.

At the end of your posting you specifically said, "I need to get a lot out". Speaking to a counselor you could do exactly that. You could let all of these feelings out and get feedback that will help you to feel better. There is nothing wrong with talking to a counselor. And if you do decide to go to a doctor, trust me, they are not going to think your crazy, as you said. There job is to help you.

If you do feel suicidal I think that it is extremely important for you to seek help.

I wish you luck.

Answer 7

Christmas is hard for everyone, especially when every one else seems happy and you don`t. Can you go and see a counsillor? you are ok at work because work probably takes your mind off things for a while. Please get some professional help or some medication, you will come through this, but you do need someone to help you x x x

Answer 8

Go get evaluated by a doctor. Depression is a serious problem and thoughts of suicide, well, that is definately not good. Get help

Answer 9

Bottom line is: There's no easy answer. Can I recommend a free counseling service to you? go to peaceplusprogramdotcom
Take care,
Vince

Answer 10

hi - Evanescence such as you - Evanescence Groan and Smile - Head telephones President demonstrate - D'espairsRay ain't afraid to die - Dir en gray i think of of those off the real of my head..