so how can I remain polite, after all the wedding is coming up, so I NEED to be polite about this, and ask her not to bad mouth him to my mom. is there a subltle way besides calling her up and saying 'LOOK LADY' she lives far away and we don't see her very much, I like her and I want to continue likeing her, so how can I be delicate in this matter. and most Importantly Why would she bad mouth her son to his future mother in law, I dont get it.
2007-03-03 08:14:45 · 14 answers · asked by Yazz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
yeah another detail, so my fiancé and I used to live kind of a different life style lots of sex drugs and rock n roll living on the streets. we're older and wiser now. for us both this is a new begining, she respects our efforts but still bad mouths him, he cut off ties with her for three years and when he met me and we decided to change our lives he re-establshed contact. due to this she loves me, yet for some reason still bad mouths him.
2007-03-03 10:03:29 · update #1
Sounds like she is jealous and maybe afraid that your mom might take her place in her sons affections. Look at it that way... she lives away from her son and knows that he will become close with your mom so maybe she is trying to make your mom not like him in a weird way to keep him. try being understanding
instead of getting mad and confronting her tell about the great son she has and that you and your mom think he is terrific and that she did a great job raising him....follow by telling her that you both cant wait to see her at the wedding.
2007-03-03 08:36:02 · answer #1 · answered by councillor 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I honestly don't thin it's your place to say anything to her. He should tell her to stop bad mouthing him. However, you might could say something to your mother about talking to his mother too often. Now if it continues after you two are married then you have every right to tell her to stop bad mouthing your husband and especially to your mother. But if it's not affecting how your mother is looking at him then I wouldn't care one way or the other. However if it is changing the way that your mom is feeling towards him and your marriage, then you should put a stop to it immediately!
Good Luck!
2007-03-03 10:30:30 · answer #2 · answered by Justyn's Mommy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look past the action and look at the reason why--this lady is scared of losing her son. She is afraid he will be more absorbed by your family and he will lose touch with her and she'll be left out in the cold. Maybe subconsciously she is trying to sabotage his marraige now so she can have him back. Treat her kindly and know she is afraid of losing her "little boy". Do what you can to include her in the family, go and visit her, keep her updated. Make her know that she won't be forgotten after the wedding. Men in general aren't too good at keeping up at that sort of thing, remembering the birthdays, mother's day, etc--it will probably be up to you to make sure you send her cards, gifts, invite her over, etc.
She is acting out of fear, not malice.
2007-03-03 08:48:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
join the club. She is what is known as a BAD mother and she talks about her son behind his back. my future MIL is the same way. Saying horrible things about her son and in general to my mother on the phone. If this MIL causes problems for you tell your husband exactly how "loving" his mother really is.
I have made it clear to my fiance that his mother is trying to cause problems and is not saying nice things, in general. And that he needs to tell his mom to back off. If he doesnt then I have told him i will soon (or my mother will soon) tell his mother off.
Have your mother tape record some of these conversations so if she is on your back her son can know what she is really like.
2007-03-03 09:32:42 · answer #4 · answered by Educated 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your fiance needs to inform his mother to get over her "hang ups" regarding the past before more than another 3 years without contact occur. This woman has her own problems in knowing social values. She needs to mature and obtain a bit of class.
If nothing else show her this response.
2007-03-03 12:15:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it somewhat is what i do as quickly as I cant discover explanation why somebody hates me, first i take exhilaration interior the actuality that the flaws i do makes them mad then if it actual bothers me and that they only are variety nasty approximately no love for me I pull pranks. 2 of my complete information all time Faves. are "Numb lips" and " enable it Burn " Numb lips demands a poker face. on an analogous time as your sufferer isn't around take the persons %. of smokes and positioned origel on the filters the gel has no Oder and could numb the lips like it would interior the mouth. take a seat back and revel interior the panic that the guy is going trough whilst they comprehend there lips are going numb and that they think of they're having a stroke or something. enable it Burn isn't for the the meek. you utilize the sufferers Restroom and undesirable warm sauce on the TP to not mush or the colour will tip the sufferer off and that they might by using it away. sturdy success, Torchwood
2016-10-17 04:52:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be she is trying to break you guys up, and hopes your mother will be the one to talk you out of the upcoming marraige.
What other reason can she have for bad mouthing her own son to your future mother in law.
Think about it. It makes no sense otherrwise.
2007-03-03 08:20:52 · answer #7 · answered by michelebaruch 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe u need to find out why his own mom is bad mouthing him, maybe there is something about him u don't know. u should confront her and ask her why she is doing this. could be she is jealous of u and wants to sabotage the marriage, could be there is something about him u need to know about. just go talk to her.
2007-03-03 08:19:55 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's probably just having a tough time letting go. Have you ever seen the movie "Monster-in-Law"? It's kind of like that.
2007-03-03 08:18:15 · answer #9 · answered by Swini 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just tell your mother how she is. Do not say anything to the mother -in- law. it may not help any way.
2007-03-03 08:19:34 · answer #10 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋