is it normal for a woman to break up due to being afraid?

Question

My girlfriend broke up with me about a month ago. I know this may sound silly but I tend to have a "sixth sense" and usually am dead on accurate when determining how people actually feel. Anyway, she broke up with me due to "no butterflies or spark." This came out of left field, which is why this is weird. However, she has been through a lot. Two brain surgeries and a real jerk of an ex boyfriend (before me), who she claimed she was in love with. When we broke up with me I asked her if she was afraid. Without hesitation she said yes. We didnt discuss this further, even though i should have. What could she be afraid of? Is she afraid to hurt me? Or could it be she was afraid to get involved? Or was she afraid to fall back in love? Do these sound like reasons to break up with a person? Maybe she is pushing me away because she thinks she will get hurt again? Any real advice would be much appreciated. thanks. Btw.. her and I still talk and are still friends.

Answer 1

Everything and nothing is normal about a woman.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Plain and simple to me, I think she said it right.........she just has no sparks or butterflies, that is why you and her are still friends. She might be gunshy about getting involved again with anyone, but truly if she can still be around you without being "involved", it is cause she doesn't have those kinds of feeling for you. Don't pressure her or make her feel she needs to make a decision. Let her decide what is right and when. Sounds like she has been thru enough already and doesn't need anything but a good friend right now. If it is meant to be, when she is more secure, and ready, she will tell you how she really feels about you.

Answer 3

As strange as this is going to sound to you give it some thought.
Some people don't really feel alive unless there's something that puts them constantly on the edge. Gamblers have it. Chronically battered women have it. To some degree I think abused children have it. Criminals keep resorting to a life of crime because they have it too. It keeps them coming back to the ways even they can logically see is not the best way to live. Emotionally it just feels right. I think maybe your ex gf may have a little of this.

Answer 4

expensive Joey, no rely whilst you're 13 years previous or 89, heart breaks will join your existence, because of fact heart breaks and getting harm, makes you already know what YOU as an idivdual can do in yet differently in an prolonged time in a various realtionship, and it makes you already know what you decide on and what you do not choose on your destiny companion. once you stated you sense depressed, and have not any desire, i've got been there, yet enable me inform you something this is totally nicely to cry at some point, its positive to grant your self a freebie! yet day after at present, you upward thrust up packed with capacity and additionally you're making your self comprehend your one step nearer to looking that perfect one! provide your self sparkling suggestions approximately this setback, verify they're sparkling helpful suggestions! the subsequent element i choose to show and are not getting indignant, yet once you combine religous and love jointly it somewhat is hard, because of fact your guy or woman, who could have diverse perspectives in existence then others haha determine you get a women persons, who has a attractive character, and NO purple FLAGS, and then see what her faith is :)

Answer 5

She likes you. She is just afraid of getting hurt and falling back in love. Do you love her? If you love her you could not be her friend! She is just scared..I would tell her I am scared also..and go from there. I wish the best of luck to you. Relationships are hard thats why you work for them. Keep that in mind.

Answer 6

Sounds like fear to me... Fear of commitment maybe? My boyfriend did this to me. Him and I were perfectly fine and then ended up, out of nowhere, saying he never really loved me and he felt obligated to be with me and all that.... And we ended up back together and he said to forget all that he said. He did it again (only cheated on me, too) and added saying he thinks there's no spark and I'm better off without him, yadda yadda. Now I'm living with him and we're happy as ever... He explained he was afraid to commit (we were supposed to get married and were engaged when he cheated). He said he'd never been that serious before and he didn't think he was ready to move so fast... So now we're just dating and casually living together. We love each other and do say we want to get married someday, but we both understand we should just worry about now.

Answer 7

if she's been hurt in the past.... she's probably knowledgeable to the fact that 90% of men lie....especially when they say they "love u". so it might take quite a bit of effort on your part to convince her that your feelings for her are genuine and true. if u dont wanna waste ur time, than u obviously dont care that much about her. if u open up to her (which seems almost impossible for most guys) than she'll probably start to feel closer to you, which will lessen her fear of being serious with you. not to mention these things take time.

Answer 8

You sound like you know her pretty good. Yeah, if she was afraid of any of those things that you mentioned, she might run. Why don't you talk to her about it? If you approach things as a friend maybe she'll know that she can trust you.

Answer 9

she is probably scared of being hurt again talk to her and reassure her that you are different she might just need a little time to think ok

Answer 10

You need to ask her why and what she is afraid of.