I cannot seem to feel completely comfortable with the fact that My girlfriend of 4 montns is best friends with her ex-fiancée. They get together at least once a week. And even take overnight trips with other friends. She's the only female on these trips and I do not like that either. It has not affected our time together but it makes me feel funny about their connection. Am I fulfilling only a certain part of the relationship for her? Is she just getting the physical stuff and getting taken out from me and she gets her soulmate feelings from him? I don't think I am competing for her affections. So am I being paranoid, seriously insecure or do I just say goodbye because it's not right? I trust her since if she wanted to do something with her guys friends, she would be doing it now and not have gone out with me. But I'm afraid that it will continue to bother me and ruin this potentially great relationship. Am I just jealous of their connection and how I should be fullfilling that role?
2007-03-03 07:43:13 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She sounds like a total whore. I would drop her before you get HIV or some warts.
2007-03-03 07:48:03 · answer #1 · answered by michele 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your internal warning bells are going off -listen to them! You owe it to yourself to have an open communication with her about your relationship. What if you were to get engaged? Would you really want that shroud of uncertainty on your relationship? The fact that her friends are important to her is something you should respect, but the fact that they were once betrothed and are now spending alone time together is something she should respect on your behalf. I wouldn't blame you for being jealous on this one, I think that's human nature. The only way their friendship will ever work with your relationship is if you are validated and involved, and that there aren't situations (such as the overnight trips) that make you uncomfortable. If she values your relationship, those should stop immediately. Would she be jealous if your roles were reversed?
2007-03-03 07:52:33 · answer #2 · answered by hoosieraa2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are jealous, but you have every right to be. But I do think it's very disrespectful of you and your relationship to go on overnight trips with a bunch of guys....there's only so far trust can be stretched. You should have a serious talk with her and tell her exactly how you feel about it. Be careful of what you say, because you don't want to come off as a controlling person. Good luck to you
2007-03-03 07:49:21 · answer #3 · answered by Steel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have every right to be jealous.
She has to make a distinction between you and her ex, and doesnt have to keep that old relationship with him.
Who knows what they do when they go on these trips?
Try to take her out on those times she wants to go on these trips.
Sit her down and let her choose between you two.
Maybe she's just deriving some comfort from him.
Do you want ot be there waiting for her after one of these trips only for her to come and tell you she's back with her ex so its over.
Boy, it's time you do something about this.
Just try not to be so aggressive about it, but let her make a decision to either be with you or her and stop wasting your time worrying about these.
She's your girl, let her see she needs to be with you all the time.
how would she feel if you were also going to your ex ever so often.
2007-03-03 07:55:12 · answer #4 · answered by ggoldiee23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't blame you for feeling like that. I don't want to put any negative thoughts in your head, but I don't think you can forget a serious realtionship in 4 months. But I'm also glad that you trust your girlfriend because without trust you can't have a relationship. I think you should let her know how you feel about her friendship with the ex-fiancee, eventhough it doesn't mean that she's doing anything wrong with him but she should understand how you feel.
2007-03-03 07:57:44 · answer #5 · answered by Beba 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't be comfortable with that situation. But, to make her decide between you would most likely cause resentment. You have to decide for yourself whether you want to take that risk. Seems to me like there are some unresolved issues going on between them. My impression is that you are a "buffer" so that they can maybe resolve those issues in a neutral way. I think that you will get hurt if you remain close to her or try to get closer. It might be best for you if, while it's still early on in your relationship, you step back and let them do what they're going to do anyway. It's so risky for you otherwise. Mine is just one perspective to think about though.
2007-03-03 07:59:16 · answer #6 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
communicate over along with your fiancee about this prevalent. he will understand why his buddy has a real carry up on the ex. and then your fiancee might want to encourage this guy to quit and quit in the prevailing day because it makes you uncomfortable. communique is healthier. solid success with this =)
2016-11-27 19:16:27 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her and be honest, if your jealous say so just don't come off as being crazed. Tell her that you feel uncomfortable with the situation , that you trust her but it makes you feel like you can't fulfill her emtionally and that hurts. Just be open and prepare to see the conversation through.
2007-03-03 07:51:04 · answer #8 · answered by Ann_Girl_619 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well tell her how you feel . And if she gives you reasons not to trust her than say goodbye . Good Luck .
2007-03-03 07:48:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her how she would feel if you went on a trip with a bunch of girls.
2007-03-03 08:00:57 · answer #10 · answered by Andrea 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋