Jokes Please!!?

Question

I AM EXTREAMLY BORED CAN SOMEONE GIVE ME SOME JOKES? PRETTY PLEASE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP?? thank you!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

what did the 2 butt cheeks say to each other ????
together we can stop this sh~t



I am Farting All The Time
Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?"
Patient, "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time,"
The Doctor nods, "Hmm."
Patient, "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times. You didn't hear them and you don't smell them, do you?"
"Hmm," says the Doctor,
He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription.
The patient is thrilled "Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?"
No," sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test."



A little boy wakes up three nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents' bedroom. Finally, one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noise and when I look in you're bouncing up and down on him."
His mom is taken by surprise and says. "Oh... well I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again."
The boy says, "That won't work."
His mom says, "Why?"
The boy replies. "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up!"


hope these help lol i thought they were funny

Answer 2

There was this cruise ship. And one night a magician was doing his performance. There was a pirate in the crowd with a talking parrot. Well everytime the magician did his trick the parrot would give it away by going "Squwak its in his hat, Squawk its in his Cape, Squawk!' The magician hated this bird, so when the next time he performed he had a plan. The next night the magician was doing yet again another performance, and the parrot was in the crowd. When the parrot "Squawked" the magician pulled out his gun and shot it at the bird. Well the bird was pretty smart so it ducked. The bulled made a hole in the ship and it sank. The only survivors were the magician and the parrot. So they are drifting on this thing of wood and the parrot says, " Ok I give up where's the ship?"

Answer 3

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe
She had so many children - - her uterus fell out.

Answer 4

Q: How do you keep a blond busy for hours?
A: Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn this page over" on both sides

Answer 5

a guy walked into a bar what did he say........OUCH