If your 7th grade son was kicked out of school for two days, for fighting at school, what punishment at home, would he get?
My sister's son was kicked out and I told her her should be grounded from the computer, his electric guitar, and playing with the dog. So far, he is allowed to do all those things and will be doing them while he is home alone(not a school for two days). I think my sister is rewarding him for his BAD behavior.
2007-03-03 07:03:36 · 14 answers · asked by MsRedd 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I would make him spend his 2 days volunteering somewhere, or I would take him to a jail where they could give him a tour. Anything but staying at home with his toys.
2007-03-03 07:07:33 · answer #1 · answered by chelebeee 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes your sister is rewarding him for bad behavior, by not punishing him in anyway she is sending the message what he did was okay. He did not get in trouble this time so in his mind he is thinking if he fights more he will not get into trouble.
This is something very serious, he was lucky he was only suspended and not expelled and if he gets into another fight they may expel him , fighting can be very dangerous and he was lucky he did not get hurt this time around. I graduated high school in 2005 and I have seen plenty of fights where kids drew blood or broke something such as there nose or finger and when I was in 8th grade one of my classmates threw a boy threw the lunch line window.
Other then being expelled and getting hurt there is also the problem of the children's parents of whom he fights pressing charges, it is very much possible for a child under 18 to be charged with assault, they are likely to do community service or go to juvi.
I think you really need to sit your sister down and explain the seriousness of what he did. For the time he is suspended your sister should do something like have him sit at the dining room table from the time school begins till the time it ends and do school work. She can easily print out worksheets online. She could also try making him do things around the house all day long, if she has to work then she should try to find someone to keep an eye on him to be sure he is having no fun or make him do community service for 2 days.
By not punishing him and letting him do his normal activities it is basically like she is giving him a lil vacation from school.
2007-03-03 08:51:25 · answer #2 · answered by Diamonds_Glow 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ummm, what are you doing to address the fighting? I would ask my kid to write a short story of what happened and then another version of what he could have done differently. I used to do time outs like that. It was not about punishment it was about having feelings but not being destructive. My younger daughter went thru a stage when she was little when she would throw stuff at me occasionally when she got mad. After a few days of working with her she came up with a good alternitive to hurting me physically...she stuck a note on my back that said iM a jrk! Translation.. I'm a jerk! Look it is not ideal but it is better than it was and has improved to the point where it is a simple "I hate you mom!" and then later.."I'm sorry, mom. I was just so mad." That is what I call progress!
I would not get so hung up on the punish ment deal. I would get him in wrestling or karate or something physical like that and teach him how to have his anger productively. Pictures and dartboard are a popular one at my house. Get him into a team sport so he can learn how to feel his frustration and get a handle on it. If he is not into that buy a bunch of potatoes and he can write stuff on them and smash them on the ground or against the garage.
Here is a great one. Write how you really feel about someone who hurt you, but write it on toilet paper and then... when the time is right.. use it!!!
I guess I am just trying to say step back and see if you need to look at some other aspects of this situation and don't be afraid to get creative. Be more concerned about what is happening with your son and try to work with him. Punishment is pretty ineffective at this stage in the game. Our kids are much smarter than we give them credit for and they end up distant as a result.
Good Luck!!!
JD
2007-03-07 05:07:12 · answer #3 · answered by JD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what was the reason for the fight? Was it self defense where he could not get away to ask for help? When i was in school i got into my share of fights and my parents listened to me to find out what was going on. As far as being grounded I wasn't grounded after the 5th grade no use in it at that point I would either obey them or I wouldn't. Though their forms of punishment was geared to the real world. He's lucky all he got was suspended school and not forced to go to court. I'd take them to work with me or they'd go to work with my husband. one of the two. I don't believe leaing kids at home for long periods of time unintended in the first place regardless of age until they're 18.
2007-03-03 07:22:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is being rewarded and he gets the house to himself to do whatever he wants when he should be in school. When my son was suspended, I had my mom come stay with him while I was at work and believe me, he would rather have been at school. He was grounded, and ammenities taken away. He learned his lesson.
2007-03-03 07:24:37 · answer #5 · answered by Barbara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is definitely not addressing the issue if she allows the same behaviour and no consequences for bad behaviour.
You might have a word with her about that. If she is not responsive, there is little you can do.
To the poster below me: Why are you equating reading with punishment?
2007-03-03 07:08:29 · answer #6 · answered by hopflower 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The kid should be grounded from everything he enjoys. Allowing him fun time, during the school days he is not allowed to attend, is like giving him a stamp of approval for his fighting.
If he were my kid, he would sit in his room all day long and read. I would not allow him to sleep in late, either. He should get up and read during the school hours.
2007-03-03 07:09:25 · answer #7 · answered by Rosee 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
contact the superintendent of the school on your section. once you've already spoken to the important and he has accomplished no longer something then flow above his head. Be agency and tell them your tale, and that no longer something became accomplished about it. Your baby has a suitable to be threat-free in college! you are able to manage to get the determination contained in the phone e book, there's a itemizing of faculty workplaces there.
2016-12-05 04:51:39 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your right, it's not teaching the child anything besides the fact that he should fight in school because the punishment is better! if he fights, he gets to stay at home and do whatever he wants, which is what every child wants to do. if it was my child that did that, i would take everything away!
2007-03-03 07:23:45 · answer #9 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, duh, of course he'll be at home doing those things. There is nobody there to stop him from doing them. Sounds like your sister is not very involved in his life. I wonder what it will take to make her realize this boy still needs adult supervision. Juvy?
2007-03-03 10:56:05 · answer #10 · answered by dixi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋