He still continues to see this boy that isn't even his son?

Question

This guy I've been dating for the past year and a half just got out of a 7 year relationship when I first started dating him. The woman he was with cheated on him and he found out that the little boy wasn't even his son. He still continues to see the boy. I am truely in love with him; he doesn't want to be in a serious relationship right now because he just got out of that 7 year relationship. Isn't it quite odd that he still sees that boy?

The boy is 3 not 7yrs old.

Answer 1

not really he could have grown to love him as his own, you shouldn't be worried unless he is still showing interest in his ex

Answer 2

What I find odd is that you are in a relationship for a year and a half with a man who says he doesn't want to be in a serious relationship. What I find even more odd is that a man who was in a 7 year relationship, got cheated on, and doesn't want to be in a serious relationship is in a year and a half relationship with you. Is he using you for the "comfortableness" factor and has no intentions of taking it anywhere else?
As far as the child goes, it doesn't matter if the child is his biologically. Emotionally, the child is his. It's not the kid's fault that his mother cheated and I'm glad your boyfriend has not punished the child for it. Good luck.

Answer 3

Absolutly not. He's the only father figure the boy has and has ever known. Just because the mother turned her back on him does't mean the boy did. As a matter of fact you should be happy that you have a man who is so tender hearted. He shows loyalty and dedication not found easily these days. The plus is wait till you have children with him if he'll do this for a son that is not his what would he do for his own.

Answer 4

Did he put his name on the birth certificate? If he did, he is stuck paying "child" support to the mother (usually more than what she actually spends on the child) for years, and if the kid goes to colleges, he will have to continue to pay, even after the kid turns 18. Plus he will be forced to pay most of the college expenses, whether he can afford to or not. So, if that is the case, maybe he feels that if he is stuck with the bill, he might as well see the kid.

Please do not listen to what others are saying. There is nothing selfish about not wanting to do without for the next twenty years (or more) of your life because the guy you are with has to pay to support a child that is not even his.

And no, you would not be at fault if he walked away, and neither would he. The only person responsible for that child is the mother who tramped out on the man she was with and then lied for years. If she has no idea who or where the real father is, that's her problem, not yours.

Answer 5

I don't think it's odd at all.

Loving a child need not have anything to do with the child's genetic makeup. It's not like the relationship between this man and this boy is going to simply evaporate just because additional information has become available.

It sounds to me like he is a good man who wants to be a part of this child's life rather than abandoning the boy because of mistakes made by his mother. I think if you were truly in love with him, you would not only respect this, but you would love him all the more for his compassionate nature.

(And whether the boy is three or seven has nothing to do with it.)

Answer 6

Do you suppose that even though the child may not be his, your friend manned up and accepted the boy as his and developed a deep love for the child? The truth is, that you have your own selfish interests at heart and you'll never be happy until he turns his back on the child. I hope that your friend sees the truth and reacts accordingly.

Answer 7

Actually it's odd that you think of it as odd. You can't possibly ask him to give up an obvious bond he has with the young boy. And, if you are asking him to give that up, you will be hurting the child in teh process. Being a father goes beyond what is paternal. You dont love someone as a child just because of a blood relation. He spent 7 yrs thinking this child was his and i wouldnt be surprised if he loves that child like his own until the day he dies. Do you have a best friend, a friend of the family, or someone who you consider and love just as well as you love your own family? Wouldn't you resent it if someone told you that you couldn't love them anymore because they weren't ''blood'' ? Consider HIS feelings...

Answer 8

if you knew someone as your child for 7 years just bc someone tells you that they are not doesnt mean you can shut your feelings off just like that, i think it actually says a lot about his charater that he still sees the child, i mean imagine how the child would feel if he just stopped seeing him, im sure the child knows him as his dad so its gotta be hard on him too, give him a break, and give him time if you really care about him wait until hes ready to get serious again but you may also have to accept that the child is a part of his life and therefore may be a part of yours too, good luck.

Answer 9

It's not odd at all. Maybe he is just so attached to the boy. The boy didn't do anything wrong and he's probably all the boy knows as a father figure.Nothing to get all mad about.

Answer 10

well seven years is a long time...long enough to grow attached to someone very much... true the little boy may not have been his son, but he probably treated him and loved him as if he was. now that he knows he isnt the father that isnt going to change his love for the little boy. you have to remember, he was the one that was there with him watching him grow, whoever the father was was never a daddy to that little boy he probably doesnt even know him.

Answer 11

No, wether or not he is biologically the boys father he developed a father son relationship with him, for seven years. For seven years he was this childs father, it's not easy to cut ties like that.