What can I do about the mediocre parenting?

Question

that I am getting from my daddy.

All he ever does is work. He takes very little interest in my school unless I get in trouble and then he takes forever to come in and talk to the principal so I spend lots of time in in-school suspension.

My mom is gone. My daddy spoils me but I wish he would just care more.

WBY - not an impressive answer.
Emawee - we are so much alike and that is cool.

Answer 1

Just say "Dad ,I need to talk to you. It seems that you are always so busy with work, but I need to know you love me.I need to know you are here for me.Since mom died I feel alone and I really need to just talk with you about my feelings and my life".Maybe he must work long hours to give you the life he thinks you want. There is a good song called "The Greatest Man I Never Knew" by Reba McIntyre you should listen to the lyrics.

Answer 2

Don't bad mouth your father as he is the only father you will ever have. If you must find fault with his poor job he is doing just tell him and if he imporves good and if he don't then you will have to be on your own.
It is not easy to be anybodys daddy or mother...its a thankless job and when you are done you will probably not appreciate anything they done for you anyway.
Your father is not stupid. He knows you better then you give him credit. He may be going through problems that you are not aware of and really you could care less. Most children are way to selfish and into themselves that they do not even give old dad or mom a thought..they have a life too and I know you were not asked to be born...but neither were they.
Your Mom is gone. How do you know she would have bee so great either? I had a mom all my life and she was mean and self centered and made hell on earth for Dad and me. You could not even talk back to my mother or she would go crazzy and dad would get upset and say"see what ya done to your mother?:" meaning now he was going to get the same treatment.
Life is not fair to anyone and if your dad is half way cool and not perfect you are still better off with one good parent then a crazy family like I got...and my brothers and sisters were just like me mother...crazy as bats ..well, enough said..just be grown up and help old dad cope with being a single parent...he won't be around forever..i lost my dad a long time ago..he was a good guy too.

Answer 3

How sad. My kids' father also works constantly, on call many weekends too. My kids have about the same relationship with their father that you sound like you have with yours. In fact, he used to pick them up after school and would arrive around 7 pm, when the janitors were there.
I doubt your dad will change to a less demanding job. Just keep your grades up and forge ahead. Surely you have some other family that you can call and talk to, even if it is long distance. One of my daughters was always with her girlfriends at their houses just to escape this situation.
Read Reviving Ophelia, just so you know you are not the only teen who is languishing.
Eventually it will be time to go to college and then be on your own. Oh, and just remember, I have heard that you have 2 chances to have a happy parent-child relationship, when you are young and when you are older and the parent. Just do like my kids do and vow not to be like your dad to your own children.

Answer 4

Lori, I would like to encourge you to do your best in school. Think about your mom and would your behavior be making her proud of you? Your dad is trying to do the best he can by working to pay the bills and keep food on your table, a roof over your head, and clothes and shoes on you. Take pride in the person you are and make good grades. You should talk to your father and tell him that you would like to go bowling, or the movies, or spend some time going for a ride and out to eat. Tell him that it has been hard since your mom died, and that you need him to spend some time with you. To give him problems to try to get him to pay attention isn't working, so try to be responsible as you are growing up and will be an adult before you know it. I wish you the best in everything you do. Make the best grades you can, and please go to college so that you will be able to take good care of yourself. Blessings

Answer 5

Tell him, just like you did here. Sometimes you need to hear about your mediocre parenting from the one your parenting. Remember if he is busy with work (making money) he may think that he is a great parent because he is providing. Try to see if he will agree to one night a week that the two of you could set as your family night, you could take turns choosing what you would do. If you think it would be hard to talk to him about this, write it down and slip it into his briefcase or mail it to him. Most importantly he needs to understand him buying you things doesn't count you need some of his time.

Answer 6

Tell him exactly what you just said in your question. He may be so busy providing for you that he hasn't had time to notice what you really need is him. If it is hard to talk to him, and it is sometimes hard to tell a parent how you feel, write him a card or even show him this question you posted. Good luck, you sound like a wonderful kid and your writing is excellent!

Answer 7

I know how ya feel. When I lived with my dad many many years ago, he never really had an interest in really "hanging" out with me. He hardly ever went to any of my meets or recitals, but he did also spoil me. He's a doctor so he was hardly home. Just tell him how ya feel jusy like you did now. Or suggest going out to dinner and tell him. Goodluck

Answer 8

Give him a break, he's doing the best he can..
Try staying out of trouble so he doesn't have to come to school.

Answer 9

Who was the one who told me to make the most of the education system??? And you're the one with suspensions! Once again a hypocrite!

Maybe your Dad works all the time so he can spoil you? You cant have both worlds!

If you want to lecture anyone on their spelling, why don't you start with Emily, I mean she can't even spell her own name.

Answer 10

You did a pretty good job of explaining your fillings here, now do the same with your dad.