15 month old screams when gets near her crib.?

Question

She was in a great bedtime routine, loved her crib and had no problems sleeping and then got very sick and I brought her to bed with us. We then moved and she was still with us because we thought her new room scared her or she wasn't used to it yet. 2 months later, she now screams her head off when I put her in her crib at all- day or night.
I have tried to let her cry it out but that doesn't work for us. She literaly screamed for 6 hours straight with out stopping from 9:30pm to 3:30am. I usually get her to sleep in my bed and then put her in her crib when she is asleep. She then wakes up and continues to scream. If I check on her, the screaming gets worse. If I let her stay in her crib with out checking on her, the screaming just remains constant. Any ideas? and if anyone is seriously saying let her continue to scream it out, how many hours should I let her scream? stop after 6hours? 10?
She sleeps wonderfully in my bed unfortuantly.

I did try the crib next to the bed, but she screams when she gets near the crib. I can't even put her in there for a second with out her screaming.
Also tried the toys in the crib, but when she's angry she throws everything out of the crib! All toys, blankets, pillows.

Answer 1

I have heard somethings on the "family bed". It is useful and more convenint as parents to just let her sleep with you if it makes her go to sleep. However, if she gets more attached to it than she already is now, she may never move to a bigger bed.

Have you tried putting her maybe on a mat on the floor for nap time or through the night?

She can't sleep in your bed for much longer. She could end up sleeping with you when she is 5yrs old maybe even 10. Family beds are convenient but it also provokes some sort of seperation anxiety ( so i think).

I would usually say just let her cry it out, but if she cries as long as you say she does that may not work. She is young but i am sure she understands most of what you say when you talk to her. Try telling her that she needs to sleep in her crib. It may be difficult, but there is some sort of communication between you I'm sure, even if she's only 15months.

I would think that her crying for 6hours would tire her out and she'd eventually fall alseep. If the mat thing doesn't work try moving her crib closer to your bed. If that isn't a possibility, get a small kiddy cot and put it next to your bed.

The main thing is consistancy, if you are constantly taking her out your bed and putting her in her crib, she will sooner or later see that she can't sleep in your bed and you won't allow it.

The crying thing, I know it will be hard to see your child cry for that long, especially over something that is simple like that, but if she continues it she will know that you aren't going to change anything and that she can't cry and get what she wants. It will exhaust her eventually. You can try these methods, if it doesn't work I think you should talk to her pediatrician to see what he/she suggests.

I hope it works out.

Answer 2

The worst thing you can do is let her fall asleep one place and wake up another. How would you feel if you fell asleep in bed and woke up in the livingroom with no idea how you got there?

For now stop traumatizing her, until you figure out how to make the crib a calm happy place you aren't going to help anything by reinforcing that it is a place to scream.

Try placing her crib in your room and see if she will accept that. If not, I would co-sleep for a month or so and then try again. You can set the crib up as a side car to your bed with the drop down side removed. Tell her she can sleep with you but she has to stay in her special place. That way you have some room. You may want her mattress to be lower than yours to more clearly define her space. Then in a month(or two weeks depending) try putting the side back on but leaving the crib where it is. Then after a time move the crib as far from the bed as possible. Then to her room. If she screams just change it back.

She isn't manipulating you, she has genuine needs and fears. A move is a traumatic enough experience for grown ups.

Also read this, and maybe you will change your view from parenting being a "Control or be controlled situation" to a more healthy attitude of guidance and nuturing your unique child, not some hypothetical book child. Your child isn't out to get you, your child is just trying to learn who she is. Yes children test boundaries, not out of spite or to drive you insane, but because they are naturally curious.

Answer 3

I had the same problem with my 9 months old baby. she used to sleep in her crib and when she got sick, we were sleeping with her. When she was feeling better (after less than a week) we decided to put her back to her crib. But she was screaming too. I understand you coz you cant stand your baby crying right? you feel like You want to pick her up and comfort her. So we tried to move her crib beside our bed. Because she see's us beside her, she can go to sleep right away now. But at first she was screaming and I know that she just want to sleep beside us. Try to move her crib in your room for a little while. and when she get used to it again then move back her crib to her room. That's what we did and it worked. Good luck

Answer 4

You should try moving her crib to your room, near your bed. She's probably too used to being in your bed and probably hates being away from you when she sleeps.

Babies need a sense of security but at this age, she really should try to sleep by herself.

Start out with the crib in your room (near your bed) and if this works, try pushing it away little by little until you can move it back to her room.

Also, make sure that you daughter's room is baby friendly. Make the wall's a nice neutral pastel color and put up some pictures and such. Buy her a couple stuffed animals to keep her company and make sure there is a night light in her room.

Answer 5

Are you able to buy her a new crib? She maybe associating her crib with getting sick. I know she's young, but I think kids are smarter than we give them credit for. Maybe a new "bedtime buddy" would help. Obviously letting her cry it out isn't working. I say stop doing it. It's not good for any of you. Have you tried putting her mattress on your bedroom floor. That way she's close to you, but in her own bed. I would talk to her pediatrician. That should be able to give you some ideas. Good luck!!!

Answer 6

She needs to feel safe in her new environment. Spend daytime and early evening playing in her room and making it hers. She needs to feel connected to the new space, try a lullaby CD to help her sleep and stay in her room reading a bedtime story or just talking to her about tomorrow while you tidy and she is in the crib. If it is one of those convertible cribs - convert it to a toddler bed or drop one side so she feels like she is in a "big bed" then slip the side up later after she is asleep. She enjoyed sleeping in your bed not only because she shared it with you but because it was bigger, I got my kids twin size beds with side rails by this age and they slept much better. Just be patient and try helping her to make the new home hers-it will be OK. Good Luck!

Answer 7

The problem is that you started letting her sleep in your bed. I am going through that issue and have been for awhile with my daughter. All it took was a few nights of her sleeping in my bed to get her out of her routine of sleeping in her own bed. It is a very hard habit to break. She gave me fits. My daughter is 2. I got her a toddler bed at 1 thinking that she just hated being trapped in the baby bed. But she hated the toddler bed. Then I got rid of the toddler bed and got a big kids bed. So now in order to get her to sleep I have to lay in bed with her until she falls asleep and then sneak into my room without her waking up. She still to this day wakes up in the middle of the night and comes in bed with me. It is really hard to break the habit of having them in the bed with you, but I promise that with time and persistence it will get better. I know because my son was the same way as a baby and now he is 6 and has no problems going to bed alone in his own bed. It seems like he was about 3 when it got better. The crying is the hard part, because we don't like to see are children sad or scared so we tend to give in. Most of there crying like that at bed time is just them trying to prove that they are the boss.

Answer 8

here is what you can try take her crib down and get her a youth bed. you can get side rails they slip under the mattress so she will no fall out of bed at wal mart, i had to put my son in a regular twin bed at 9 months cause he kept climbing over his crib. and he loved it.. that willl make her feel she is sleeping in a bed like mommy and daddy and she might go right off to sleep.

Answer 9

make it uncomfortable for her to sleep with you. for example, don't hold her in any way as she falls asleep. also put her in a position where she is not touching you. if she starts having her tantrum again, give her a choice- either sleep with you under your rules or go to her own room. also you could provide her with consequences when she doesn't sleep in her room. for example, you could tell her that she is not allowed to play with a favorite toy, or do another activity until she sleeps in her room. the important thing for you to do is let her know that you are not letting her get away with misbehaving.

Answer 10

That must be tough for you....maybe she isn't used to her new room and felt more comfortable when she was sleeping in your room. Perhaps she feels lonely and scared when you are not around. I would try singing a song to her or playing a C.D or tape that has nature sounds or calm and quiet music.