She is a dialysis patient and very dependent on me. My last doctor's visit had my blood pressure very high and plans were to double the dose. I think part of it is looking out for my mom. Anyone else in the situation and how do you handle it. I will not send her to a nursing home because she is otherwise healthy. Just want to know what you do about the daily pressures.
2007-03-03 05:43:50 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
I think that your question can only be answered by you so that you do not have regrets later. Personally I would do what you are doing and try to put up with the pressures as long as my mom needed me. But if it is too much, you have to take care of yourself.
2007-03-03 07:32:35 · answer #1 · answered by hebb 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many women are caught in the "sandwich" generation of having kids and looking after aging parents.
I watched my parents nearly end up in the grave too looking after my grandmother...my poor mom and all she had to go through as my dad wouldn't put her (his mom) into a nursing home either, and I don't blame him, but my mom was ill too and it nearly did her in.
It was sad but almost a blessing when she passed, and yes the pressure and stress can and will kill you if you don't have some respite care.
There are organizations who will come in and give you a few hours break. Look for them. The other alternative is if you can look for someone to live with you...free room and board for so many hours a day of you being able to have a break.
No easy way to do this but just get outside and get some fresh air and put a monitor on her so you can hear her...garden or something...you need to de-stress. Good luck.
2007-03-03 14:12:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am in a similar situation. I have set up an account with a local facility that does respite care for our elderly dependent. It is much like daycare except they have a nurse on staff to administer medicines and things like dialysis and it is a 24 hour a day service. There is cost involved but often medicare or health insurance will help with this. At the facility we use you can check in your loved one for as short as an hour up to a maximum of thirty days.
http://www.archrespite.org/
Respite care is a great back up plan and an essential tool for caregivers who need a short break. This break is helpful for both of you since people tend to get angry sometimes especially if you are trying to hold in your feelings or are just simply totally exhausted. It takes a little time to get respite care set up but afterwards it only takes minor tweaks (new meds changes, etc) to keep the service up to date so you can use it at any time. good luck
2007-03-03 14:10:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
We see family members who do everything possible to keep their loved one out of the nursing homes and extended care facilities. We also see a lot of greedy family members who will not send their loved ones to a nursing home out of greed because they will give their inheritance to the nursing home instead passing it down to their children. If your keeping your mother home for the right reasons, 3 cheers for you, but if your doing it because you are planning some big financial wahoo, then give it up. Hypertension is very common in dialysis pts. They are hypertensive and thats just the way it is sometimes.
Good luck.
2007-03-03 16:35:04 · answer #4 · answered by happydawg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweety, you need to take some time for yourself, and take care of your health, too. Talk to your city or county's public health department. There are programs available where you can have someone come in and help care for your mom for a period of time during the day. This lets you get out and relax without the worry of your mom.
What you are doing is wonderful, and it isn't abandoning your mom, you are just keeping yourself healthy. If you become too sick, you can't take care of your mom.
Good luck!
2007-03-03 13:52:31 · answer #5 · answered by Sabrina H 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was in your situation and I took care of my mom until 1 month ago when the cancer got into her brain and I am unable to care for her now. She has a few days to live and she is in the hospital . I lost girlfriends over it, but she's my mom.
2007-03-03 13:53:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Take soome time out to chillax.
2007-03-03 14:30:36 · answer #7 · answered by I am the Badger Princess. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to find someone else to stay with her once in a while so you get get out. you need your own space to breathe.
2007-03-04 01:15:52 · answer #8 · answered by barb 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you can find a support group in your area.
2007-03-03 13:50:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
daisy, ya gotta cut the cord sooner or later. learn to exist on your own. send mom to a home where she will be cared for.
2007-03-03 13:49:15 · answer #10 · answered by Camel Toes Rule 1 · 0⤊ 4⤋