I've heard that some people act this way because they think that the other is better than them and they don't want them to realize it? Like they have to beat the other down to prop themselves up? Have you ever done this or know of cases like this? Is this true or is it just that people really think you're worthless?
My exboyfriend would put me down a lot, and insult me, but defend himself saying that it was the truth. He said nice things about the way i look, and then later he would tell me i'm ugly, and very specific about why. Sometimes he said he didn't tell me how much he liked me because i would be all cocky about it. But i know i don't look anything like his 'ideal' woman. I just didn't know what to believe anymore.
2007-03-03 05:13:43 · 7 answers · asked by jade 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's his insecurities that's making him be this way to you. It has nothing to do with his feelings for you or what he thinks of you. I'm dating someone that used to be like that in the beginning. Although he wasn't as cruel. At first, it made me angry, then it got to me emotionally, but soon I realized that it wasn't me, but it was how he could make himself feel better. A person's insecurities isn't an overview of who they are as a whole being. It's something that stemmed from their childhood or younger years. I don't think they know what they're doing or saying at the time. If you really care about him, you can help him. Find out what his insecurities are............I'm sure he has many fine qualities. With patience and understanding, it can work. Don't forget to be honest though.........it doesn't help you or him if you have to make things up to boost his confidence. Eventually, he will come to see his worth. As for you, you have to be a strong person and never fail to see the good in yourself and stay true to yourself. He needs to see strength in you. It can only rub off on him. I used to shrug my guy's bitter comments off and not let him think or see that it affected me. He doesn't do it anymore...............well, hardly. It's a work in progress..... Good luck!
2007-03-03 06:44:18 · answer #1 · answered by artutina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in a similar situation with someone that I have been seeing for 8 months. One minute he is telling me how important I am to him, then the next day, he will tell me how much he wants to find someone better than me. Then he will say that he is sorry. I have found that he really feels insecure about himself, so he thinks that if appears better than me then he actually is.
2007-03-03 13:19:06 · answer #2 · answered by Tish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure this goes far beyond boyfriend and girlfriend issues. People lash out on people all the time because they make them realize their own insecurities. I have a bad tendency to do this, and unfortunately, it always turns out negatively for me.
Good luck! ;-)
2007-03-03 13:16:59 · answer #3 · answered by lildevilgurl152004 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother is like this, he has insecurity issues and has ruined a few relationships because of his ways.
2007-03-03 13:18:05 · answer #4 · answered by Stuck in the middle of nowhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me insecure!? Have you been talking to my psychologist?
2007-03-03 13:16:30 · answer #5 · answered by the_great_offender 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Deary, find someone else. He will never change. Been their, and wasted many many years.
2007-03-03 13:18:32 · answer #6 · answered by michelebaruch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who hasn't!
2007-03-03 13:19:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋