I'm staying with my in laws since April 2005 once married. During this period, I felt unhappy living together with them, especially mother-in-law. I don't like her because of her character, she is the person who like to control things, even things between my hubby and I and also she is all-time argument winner no matter she is right or wrong. Honestly, we have different point of view, different mindset, so always clash, and the clash is getting serious after my baby boy was borned since 9 months back. And this make us quarreled again and again, until today I started to avoid her whenever possible, and I hope to move out soon. But the problem is my husband not able to buy a house yet, and I'm afraid one day we may have clash and argue again, please suggest me your best advise, thanks.
2007-03-03 05:04:17 · 14 answers · asked by SSling 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She probably feels like she is the "Queen Bee" in her own household. Instead of letting her get the best of you, force yourself to put up with this, and just keep helping to encourage your husband to get your own house. If I said anything at all to the mother-in-law, it would be how I couldn't wait to finally have my own place for my family to live. I hope your husband is supportive of your feelings, and doesn't act like a mamma's boy, who has to please his Mother all the time. Regardless of where you live, when he married you, any loyalty or favor should have shifted completely to you, as his wife. Good Luck.
2007-03-03 05:19:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I m facing the same problem as u r . But insted of running away from it it is better to face it or overcome it. Whenever ur mother in law argues with u then just listen do not back answer. I did the same and it did help me out. Whenever posibble just try to know the reason 4 her ill behaviour & i think when ur hubby supports u u can overcome this problem. Try and talk to ur hubby also. He will surly find a way to overcome this matter. I m married before 8 yrs but still i m fighting it to overcome it. The intencity of the clash has reduced and i know that within a yr. the clash will be nowhere. So i advice to stay with ur in laws and fight do not give up in 2 yrs itself.
Best of Luck
2007-03-04 00:32:22 · answer #2 · answered by peacock 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your husband too realise this. If he does then talk it out with him and ask him for the options and give in your view point too. It seems that apart from all the differences you have with your mom-in-law you yet respect her and thats a good sign. It is much better to shift in a rented place at the moment as once you move away things will become fine and love will also grow between you and your mom-in-law but initially she will surely blame you for taking her son and grandson away from her but be ready for that.
Infact moms always treasure there sons and always want to do something or the other for them, few take time and few realsie early that the wife is taking proper care of her son. The day she realises it she'll stop arguing.
Well all the best for now but do talk to your husband and tell him to talk to your father in law he can explain his wife better and give a proper guidance, but never ever allow anyone from your parents' side to interfere as this might create problems between you and your husband.
Think and you can surely come up with a solution.
2007-03-03 05:55:07 · answer #3 · answered by Santosh S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be better if you could make some adjustments. I'm not asking you to swallow insults, but if possible take a dent in your pride. That would not only stop the clashes but also make you more adorable to your mother in law. Its a small price to pay for family peace. If you can't be dissuaded from moving out, renting an apartment or purchasing one with a loan are the available options if your husband can't buy one outright.
2007-03-03 05:59:34 · answer #4 · answered by Modest 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's just a mentallity clash. Nothing else. The common factor between a woman and her mother in law is the guy. Each one of them wanna make sure that he doesn't ignore her for the other. However, if they could develop a relationship not based on the factor but based on the harmony developped between them there would be no grudges at all.
All the best...
:-)
2007-03-03 05:31:00 · answer #5 · answered by plato's ghost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Moving out in your case, seems the better solution to a steaming problem!! Your mother-in-law certainly needs space & so do U. Ask friends, neighbours,real-estate agents for buying a house.Dont be hasty with the sale-documents.Get a good lawyer for this.Dont mess a valid chance for future problems.Be polite with your inlaws always,but keep your Distance.!!!!
2007-03-03 05:36:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are staying with mother-in-law to save to buy a house at therate the market is now you will live with your husbands family for awhile. If you are staying with your in laws because neither your husband are working then you really don't have a choice in what your mother in law says its her house.
If you and or your husband have a job then try renting and budgeting and then it will be your house.
2007-03-03 06:46:49 · answer #7 · answered by Marla D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even after moving out of mother in law's house, the problem cannot be solved as long as her son accompanies. New brides usually find it difficult to adjust in new atmosphere and their in laws too often do not cooperate. Time solves all such problems.
2007-03-03 05:31:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mother in laws (MIL) want to feel needed. That's just the way it is.
So make life easy on your self.. ASK her for help.. whether you need it or not.. She will be happy to pass on her years of experience and yo will lose the knot in your stomach.. Example: My Mother in law wanted to feed our daughter jar baby food, I wanted to make fresh, blend it, freeze... you get the idea.... So I asked my MIL..." You know.. I was reading about fresh, unprocessed baby food, this is how it is made........ i don't know if i can do it. her response... well, I've never used it, but it should be easy enough to try. Let's work on it when the baby goes down for a nap.. I'll show you how to peel the vegetables... (OH MY)
Like I don't know how to peel, but...mission accomplished!!
with the baby... keep her informed....."it's supposed to get warmer today.. do you think I should put a couple of layers on so I can take on off if he gets too warm? well, you know what to do... but he will love giving you her opinion.
and for peace......... give it a try.
2007-03-07 04:22:42 · answer #9 · answered by larsgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry. Take her as your own mother. Begain respect more and more day by day.Think on what are the things/ her likes /dislikes and do the things she likes, but get her realised that you are doing these things to maintain faimily but not willingly / happily.As and when she will realised that you are realy unhappy she will probably change her. Please try.
2007-03-03 05:31:53 · answer #10 · answered by bhaskar c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋