CAN ANYONE ANSWER THiS QUESTION PLEASE ???????????????

Question

Why is it that i cant seem to realize things into after they happened? As a sr in hs, i havent really been able to figure things out until its over. i feel like im always 2 steps behind, & just never really new who i was & what i wanted till now, or at least i just didnt realize it. i put too much stock in stupid little things & not stayiong true to myself. i let things like girls & their friends dtermine my mood & how i act, & i feel ive been too busy about others to the point where it would have all worked if i just didnt try & care NEARLY as much. i had talents for soccer & baseball, i wasnt the best, but if i just pursued them a lot harder i would have been on vars for both. i didnt put enough time in myself, & just could never relly figure out what i wanted & wht ws good for me. i lost complete connection with my brother in college & family & never had a mentor to help me out. now that i realize everything, im off to college & lost again, except now w/ regrets with me. why??

Answer 1

My friend,

I understand this all to well.. in some ways..

I grew up going to private schools and under a very strong influence of my father. I never really new what I wanted, I just went with his dreams for me.. and then they became my own unable to think for myself. I have been a people pleaser for so long, in that sense. Due to my sheltered upbringing I didn't know how to live my own life and breath..

After I completed my university in a private school.. I went right into the career I was destined to, following in my father’s footsteps. I haven't wasted a minute of my life right out of high school at 17 I went to university with great passions to achieve what I needed to as soon as possible without even thinking.

Through out university I never thought outside of the box either, in regards to me.. Although there was 2 times that I applied for a second degree to do concurrently as a back up plan (and to become more educated). Unable to get into the program.. I continued with my purpose.

When I worked in the career destined for me, I felt a sense come over me, that others thought I was suppose to be some kind of child prodigy. I was to be utmost successful like my father. People watched me and also talked about my father. sigh* I had to make my own life at that moment. I felt after this experience my life up to now finally hit me..

Just a side note I've moved 14 times in my life..due to my dad’s career. I have no hobbies that I could ever really get into, due to the fact as soon as I would be in something, I'd have to be pulled out of it. I've done karate, figure skating, tennis, biking, kayaking, speed swimming, ect every move I would get involved and then.. it would just stop.. I 've done a good job in keeping a few good friends.

So...after a time of serious disarray... I have now been more and more trying to rediscover myself.. What do I enjoy? What do I want to do? How should I live... Pay close attention to your feelings what draws you in.. What inspires you.. This can be a exciting experience.

Let the journey begin and do not be bitter about the past..I could be very bitter, some have even asked me, are you mad at your parents? I say no, I have done so much with my life, seen many faces, and the drive they instilled in my to get all things done, and to be young doing so, has helped me get a degree..

Look at your past, find the positive..and relearn life, how to make yourself happy now, and feel fulfilled. Do not regret, life is to short for regrets, take what you have and create a new.

I could be filled with tons of regret like why did I have to waste 4 yrs of my life in university doing something that I was doing for the wrong reasons. I sometimes wish I could go back in time and turn my head in the right direction, "my direction!" Then I say to myself ok, that happened what can I use it for now?

Its like finding a long lost friend, from within whom you have neglected for to long..

Hope this helps..

Answer 2

You don't make sense. You're obviously not content with yourself yet, which most people spend years trying to achieve and some never do. You said you knew what you wanted and how to be true to you and all that after H.S. was over, but now you have decided to let anxiety run your mind over and convince you that once again you are lost. First off, you are young - you're going to be lost for awhile - for a long time maybe. One tip - don't run off and get married

Don't spend your time focusing on regrets. Determine what your problems are and seek solutions to them. Ask yourself, "What is bothering me? Why am I upset? What is the real issue? How do I feel about....?" etc. Define the problem first. Then brainstorm without criticizing yourself. Write down every answer/solution you can think of to resolve your issue. Also, ask yourself if you can change what's bothering you. If you can't, let it go - quit wasting time on it. If you can, figure out what you need to do. Set some goals and work toward achieving them. Even if you only take a small step toward some goal that you have, it is that first step that will lead you to the path that you need to get on. It will also make you feel better.

Tthe list goes on of stuff I could say, but I can't focus right now - been up too long - and too many chemicals in my blood stream are imbalanced. If you need to/want to talk or get advice/thoughts/mentoring, contact me on Yahoo (e-mail) or Messenger. Take care - And, oh yeah, RELAX : )!

Answer 3

You're what?? 18? This isn't an uncommon problem for kids your age. Hell...most 35 years still don't know what they want out of life. If you ask anyone, money is usually the top answer, but what about happiness, love, good friends, success? These are all things that you have to work for, none of them come by just sitting on your ***. I learned the hard way. I'm 37 now, I've had 3 kids, my youngest is 16 and play JR Vars Football and will be Vars next year...that's my doing because I was involved in his life and his decisions and if he wanted certain things, there were things he had to do for me, his mom, like play football. He and his sister will both be graduating next year and neither of them really know what they want to do, and they have all the same problems that you do, but they have something you might not have, me. I am their mother, but I'm also their friend. I listen when they need to talk or cry or yell. Sweetheart, you're going into college soon, take a year to get a feel for it, take all the course classes your first year so you don't have to worry about deciding on a major just yet. And don't be in such a rush to be grown...it's not all fun and games. And most importantly....find yourself someone that you can turn to when you need to talk or just had a bad day....maybe reconnect with your family...Everyone gets a second chance,,,you just have to ask for it. :)

I wish you all the luck in the world.....and hon...this might sound mean, but when you start college you should really think about taking a spelling class...you will get bad grades with spelling errors. ; )

Lani

Answer 4

Call it a quarter-life crisis. This happens to a lot of people. A better term for it would be "introspection" looking into yourself to see who you really are. A lot of us can look back on our life with regret and disdain, but it takes a special amount of character to realize that any situation you get yourself into can be changed.
Think of it as a subconscious wake up call saying that you feel you need to make some changes. The only guarantee in life that we have is that we're not guaranteed a tomorrow.
If you feel you have left pieces of your life unfinished, don't be afraid to tie up those loose ends. Make the calls to your Brother and/or other Family. Make the time to take some "me" time to figure out exactly what it is you want to do with yourself.
You are the controller of your life, though I do say so with a belief in destiny and Fate. I belive that every bad shall be balanced with a good, even if you have to do that "good" on your own.
Really there is no way to accurately answer this question, only to show you that there is more paths you can choose to walk in life...taking the time to sit back and realize you want some things to change is the first step...and you did that on your own. Now, you must willingly make step 2.

To quote Bruce Lee (and think on this)
Knowing is not enough, we must apply...
Willing is not enough, we must do...

Answer 5

i, too, have a tendancy to be two steps behind, and probably the reason we would let others determine our moods is because we don't think we know how, so we look for help in the spur of the moment. you just need more time to think for yourself. sometimes, you need to be alone with your thoughts. be firm when you want some time to think and circumstances (like friends) won't let you. this is all i can give you. hope it helps

Answer 6

the fact that you are wondering about this now means it's good that you are realizing things and not simply going through life doing the same thing the way you use to. what i mean is you are finally realizing that you can change. change is good. if you are willing to change, you should take it step by step, like really organize what you should do. start by coming up with a list of what things you would like to change, and start with simple things. you can do it. good luck.

Answer 7

the best medicine to take is not to take anything... Just go for YOGA and practise as they say.you will feel the difference in 3 months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

i'm here when u need someone to talk to [e-mail]