My ex broke up with me 1 mth ago after 8 mths together.
After 5 mths out of the blue she said she was unsure about us. I asked why, I said that and I thought we had loads in common & the spark was there, she agreed, but said she wasn't sure. Within 2 hours she apologised & said she had been down & it made her irrational.
Everything was good again for 2 mths then again said she wasn't sure. We had a long chat, we both got upset & she said she was really sorry and hated when she was horrible to me. She said that she felt that she held me back (because she has chronic fatigue & is often ill) and that I could do better. I said that was never the case and never will be. I suspected she may be depressed as she had that in the past
6 weeks ago she said she "wanted to end things as her feelings had changed over a short period". She admitted she was suffering from depression (her dr agreed!)then took it back 1 week later saying us was the cause of her being down.
What do I do??
2007-03-03 04:32:56 · 14 answers · asked by bepositive1976 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My ex was depressed, and dumped me,and we was together 3 years
Give it up, and start afresh........
Good luck...........
2007-03-03 04:37:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Depression and bi-polar conditions make relationship management an awesome challenge. I had a similar experience and it can get the best of you let it. It is like a push me-pull me seemingly on an endless highway. What you should do is accept her illness and observe her recovery. If remains stable then as long as you accept the fact things go south, I think you are a great person. However, do not let yourself become affected in a negative way emotionally. There is nothing wrong with caring for or loving a person with an emotional condition as long as they are helping themselves and the other person understands. If you are up for it, learn about the problem and live with it. If not, let it go. Be careful of manipulative behaviors from her. It is called the secondary gain of illness where one derives an ulterior benefit, perhaps control for example, as the result of an illness.
2007-03-03 04:44:15 · answer #2 · answered by Joseph H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs an excuse to be depressed - you are not it!!!! If she is ill she needs to see her GP help is there if she takes it and it does help too, so things should have got better not worse, I suspect she likes attention and you are a kind soul who still thinks you did something wrong.
Its up to you try to go back knowing the score and standing up to her or go look there are some gorgeous pebbles on the beach, who knows when she gets out of her shell she may be there too.
2007-03-03 04:43:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you'd better leave her. A person in depression is really difficult to deal with, especially when you're emotionally involved. Things she say will change all the time, and you will be affected every time. Or even worse, you might get depressed too, as their negative power is so strong.
However, If you love her enough to cope with all the difficulties she will give you, please stand by her, otherwise, you'd better leave before you get hurt.
2007-03-03 05:47:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't have children. Get your affairs in order. The end is near. Or you could give her a double hit of sunshine, get her up on a plane, and have her skydive. Or run a Cigarette 88 into the intercostal at full throttle, or develop a P-38 Lightning into a racin plane and run it flat out in Nevada. Or you could pimp her if she's pretty. If she's ugly, you could pimp her cheap. Or you could leave her the *uck alone, and let her work it out. She'll call if and when she's ready.
2007-03-03 04:44:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i have the same problem as your ex does(like chronic fatigue and being ill all the time)
what is sounds like to me is that your ex is probably worried bout getting her heart broken and she doesnt need that. im not saying that you would break her heart its just that after a couple of months, concerns rise and it bedins to tick in her head and then us(females) we get these ideas into our head and we get scared and emotional.
the best way to help her is to show her that you truely are commited and that you truely love her. try spending more time with her, if you dont have lots of time, then show her your love by writing little love notes and make her assured that you are not the cause of her depression. seeing her randomly is another good idea becuase it shows that you really do care bout her.
i hope i helped you out a little bit.
=] best of luck
2007-03-03 04:42:03 · answer #6 · answered by hawaiian_lover1313 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i won't be able to say i understand the way it feels, yet i'm able to think of how puzzling that's, i replaced into in a matching difficulty until now. i replaced into with a guy for a twelve months, in spite of the incontrovertible fact that it ended, for me it ended too quickly. i replaced into in my room and did no longer bypass out for each week, I cried common, no bathe, no longer something. i replaced right into a smash. i replaced right into a smash for some months, yet my counsellor (who i replaced into seeing for 6/7 years) gave me some suggestion and informed me some issues. It hurts now, in spite of the incontrovertible fact that it won't final. I outfitted up a mentality that, 'it hurts now in spite of the incontrovertible fact that it won't harm consistently' I saved thinking that there will be an afternoon that I won't think of of him and that i could discover somebody properly worth my tears. I advise which you will desire to easily have some moments to permit all of it out, then it is going to come to a component which you would be thinking approximately him day in and day out yet won't actually cry, yet you isn't smiling the two. Then it gets much less puzzling. i'm hoping this helps.
2016-10-02 07:54:47 · answer #7 · answered by rosalind 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whether you get back together gain or not encourage this young lady to get professional help . sounds like a course of counselling would do her good. she can get her doctor to put her name forward for therapy. don't be alarmed at that it is quite good you have one to one talking or in a group were everyone is in the same boat and you talk about yourself and get ideas from other people just like you to help you .if she is lucky you will still be in the wings waiting for her when she is feeling better. good luck.
2007-03-07 01:07:36 · answer #8 · answered by fushia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She could be depressed and made a rational decision. Wait a week or two if she does not contact you, move on with your life.
2007-03-03 04:39:15 · answer #9 · answered by Lisa P 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just leave her.. shes having problems.. unless you feel so strongly about her that you wish to stick with her and help her get through it
2007-03-03 04:50:29 · answer #10 · answered by girl_next_door_red 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋