My boyfriend is 16 yrs older than me and he has 2 kids. He won't take me out anywhere and all he ever goes on about is our business. What can I do to change him into the way he used to be when we first met? He used to be impulsive and fun and after 3 yrs he has turned into a complete bore!! I don't want to leave him so don't suggest that but I do want to brin some excitement into my life again. I am so fed up!
2007-03-03 04:26:11 · 14 answers · asked by rockin mermaid 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The business is definitely coming between you - can you go work somewhere else and continue to be a partner - you need outside interests that will give you space and you will then have things to talk about other than the business, it takes special couples to work all day everyday 365 days a year and live together as well - talk to him about you doing something else to bring cash in other ways, you could be in dependant about holidays and those nights out you want back if you earned the money to pay elsewhere.
Hope it works out for you both
2007-03-03 04:35:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well when you are seeing someone that much older with 2 kids, you know there is responsibililty to those kids that comes before you. Everything is always going to be more fun in the beginning of any relationship. But, sounds like you guys could use some alone time. Is there someone who can keep the kids for a long weekend or something? Just get away for a few days with him and kickstart it a little bit. If not, get a sitter for a night and go out on the town and have some fun. Let him know it's fine to stay home a majority of the time, but every now and then you guys just need to get out and do something together. Have a talk with him and let him know how you feel, don't tell him he is a bore! That won't get you anywhere. Keep in mind that he does have kids and can't always be entertaining you. You came into the relationship knowing that. Since you want to be there, that is something you just have to accept, but he needs to get out and do things with you once in a while. Maybe even plan a date night once a month or something so you know you will get out. Or get a sitter on your own (if he has family that can take them over night one night), make a dinner for him, get some movies and spend some alone time together. There are differnt things you can do...just use your imagination.
2007-03-03 04:41:19 · answer #2 · answered by debrenee211 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry but I'm afraid you have different priorities. You're after fun and excitement, whcih is fine as you are able to take risks. Your boyfriend carries a lot more on his shoulders - two children (does he look after them or are they with his ex-lady?) are expensive and a responsibility and you don't know what problems they are giving to him. He's concentrating on the business because it provides him and you with an income and that is important . Perhaps you can afford to ignore this, but he can't otherwise court orders and maintenance payments will accrue.
So, sorry, I'm afraid you both have to sit down and talk about what your priorities are are the moment. This may be a temporary thing while he sorts out some cash flow in which case you should support him with this. If, however, your ambitions for the future and your dreams in years to come are not compatible then you should ask yourself honestly - do you really have a future together?
Hard advice, but honest
2007-03-03 04:35:51 · answer #3 · answered by gorgeousfluffpot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I had to guess, I'd say that he was only acting impulsive and fun in order to get close to you, a woman 16 years younger. But once he had his pretty young thing, he felt more comfortable being himself. You can't really expect a guy 16 years older than you with 2 kids to be able to keep up with you.
2007-03-03 04:30:57 · answer #4 · answered by Subconsciousless 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be honest and tell him that you wanted his former personality.
He might not be noticing these changes as he is already focusing on the kids and your future thus the business. For you, on the other hand, you want to enjoy as you are younger than him.
Ask him on a date, and make some gig on it, like do something that both of you like so that you two won't get bored with each other.
Enjoyment is all that matters. Make things the 2 of you that you both enjoy that is worth rewarding. for sure, you will find satisfaction when you find one.
Lastl, don't be nagging him, and don't as if you are stalking him. Men does not like the idea being stalked, controlled, or caged. They want to be free, they want to show that they are the men who gains control over things. Be submissive, and not suppressive. ok.
Good Luck!!!
2007-03-03 04:37:44 · answer #5 · answered by lacey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's 16 years older than you and has two kids on his case and
you're complaining he's boring? OBVIOUSLY he is going to be boring if he's in his what? 30s?
You don't need to leave him just tell him what's bothering you and tell him that he should give you better sex to spice up your relationship.
2007-03-03 04:50:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should plan a surprise vacation for the 2 of you. Maybe that will re-kindle your romance + you will feel complete for having planned the trip from a to z as a surprise....He'll be ecstatic!!!
2007-03-03 04:36:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel. My bf is 10 years older than me and I tell him if something is bothering me. It's been working for me for three years now, so it's worth a shot!
2007-03-03 04:32:25 · answer #8 · answered by scootkat84 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question. He is 16 years older... OF COURSE you find him boring
2007-03-03 04:29:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
those 16 years are more important than you think you are both somewhere else think where and what you will both be like in sixteen years time you will be his age and he will be what?
2007-03-03 04:37:19 · answer #10 · answered by whatisfear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋