It’s been 9 months since we’ve split up after we went out for 3 months. She told me two months into our relationship that she loved me. She dumped me after some guy tried to take her back to his hotel room while she was out with friends. When she dumped me she told me she loved me but she wasn’t in love with me.
I really care about her so even though I didn’t understand why she dumped me I accepted her decision because I want her to be happy. Since then we have been seeing each other and snogging and having sex. However after this happens she gets very upset and tells me that we cannot be together.
There are lots of occasions when I’ve been there for her without us snogging and having sex. A few days ago she told me that she didn’t want me to stay over any more or hold her or touch her.
We haven’t spoken for a while and I am at a loss about what to do because I really miss her but I don’t want to make her upset anymore. She’s upset and won’t say why. Any advice appreciated
2007-03-03 04:02:08 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She's upset because she knows deep down she is using you. This girl cannot (imo) love you because she is not treating you with the respect that you certainly deserve, you sound like a very caring person.
Maybe she is seeing someone else which is why she won't commit to you? It seems she is addicted to the attention you give her though, though she obviously doesn't want to be with you right now.
You say you saw her a few days ago...but also that you 'haven't spoken for a while'...it seems you too are addicted (in a way) to the attention she gives you, hence why you let her use you for sexual/loving attention without giving her the ultimatium she needs.
Tell her that she can either commit to you properly as a boyfriend or lose you for good...you could stay friends but you can't let her keep you on the backburner like this, it's not fair. Think about how she would feel if you got a new girlfriend...maybe tell her you have. If she really cares about you, you will know. If she doesn't, you haven't lost much from the sounds of it anyway.
I let someone treat me in this exact way for a very long time, (on and off for about 3 years, though it was a 6 year relationship) and it was only after it ended (I had to go to counselling to get over him) I realised that I was worth much much more, I had a lot of love to give so i found someone who really deserved it and am now happier than ever. All the best to you.
2007-03-03 04:12:52 · answer #1 · answered by Charlie B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like this girl needs help with something. It sounds as though she has something on her mind but won't tell you what it is. Have you tried asking her just to talk to you. Has she got another man? You sound like a really nice person and it's nice to know there are still caring blokes out there. She doesn't realise how lucky she is to have you come runningwhen she feels she needs you. Perhaps try offering an ultimatum and let her know your feelings, because it must be hard for you not knowing where you stand all the time.
Good luck. PS don't be used!!!
2007-03-03 04:08:55 · answer #2 · answered by rockin mermaid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you dumped you because she wasn't in love with you, but you're still leting her get intimate with you. Now she doesn't want to be near you.
Listen, this girl has issues, and I doubt most of them are about you. Back off from her and go out and meet some new girls. I think you both need a break from each other, because you still have feelings for her and she needs to work out her own.
I think you need to get over her, and that takes time away from her.
2007-03-03 04:08:00 · answer #3 · answered by Ask Aunt Amy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's using you and feeling a bit guilty about it. Let her go and find someone who will really appreciate you for who you are. If a person loves you but is not in love with you, all they can do is make you miserable! Believe me, I finally divorced my ex because I wasn't in love with him, but my soulmate from when I was young.
2007-03-03 04:08:01 · answer #4 · answered by karenhar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am really sorry.. sounds like she might just want you around
when she is lonely and can't make up her mind if she should
be with you or not.you should stop calling her act like it don't
bother you and she will come back I know I've done it..........
Good luck hope you find someone that will love you for u!!!!!!!!!
2007-03-03 04:09:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi james,
my typical answer to ur problem is ur digging dead bodies from the grave yard. ex is always ex. forget and forgive her. think that she was not made for u. start a new venture. u will be more happy. enjoy the life!
2007-03-03 04:08:54 · answer #6 · answered by amarnath 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel bad for you man... it sounds like she has no idea what she wants... go ask her once and for all 2 make very clear what she wants and asks her if she is absolutely positive with her decision. if she doesnt want you then you better leave her...
2007-03-03 04:16:34 · answer #7 · answered by girl_next_door_red 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just give her time and wait for her to contact you...
but dont put your love life on hold if someone comes along whilst you wait for her then go for it mate....
2007-03-03 04:08:01 · answer #8 · answered by bonez007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave crazy alone.
2007-03-03 04:11:34 · answer #9 · answered by isisrocca82 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give up. PLEASE!!!!!! She doesn't deserve you. you are way better than her.
2007-03-03 05:21:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋