My husband will not help with chores. I am eight months pregnant with our second child our oldest is 5. I work full time (because I have to, we need the money) but by the time I get home at night I am exhausted. Even asking him to do laundry is a huge issue until there are no clean socks, towels or school uniforms. I fear that this will continue even after the baby gets here - I HAVE to have a c-section and will have limited mobility after the baby is born. He thinks I'm being lazy. I'm really just too tired. I wish I had family close enough to help. Any suggestions?
2007-03-03 03:51:55 · 14 answers · asked by Momma Hill 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
You need to talk with him when neither of you are tired or frustrated. I think men do better when there are agreed upon roles and division of labor -rather than spur of the moment "nagging," and general comments about helping or not helping. Make agreements, and both of you commit to keeping them. Maybe some marital counseling would help. His lack of helping you may be due to hidden resentments or other issues. Good luck.
2007-03-03 04:00:15 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Mizzack 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure why he doesn't help, but any guy in his right mind should know that with a woman being 8 months pregnant AND working a full time job definitely needs as much rest as she can get. In a way it's really good for the baby that you are keeping active, but there is a limit to everyone's physical ability to strenght, especially when you are carrying another human being. I def say sit down and talk to him and explain to him what you are going through, or if anything take him to your next dr's visit and have the Dr. explain it to him if you can't for whatever reason. I think communication is the key to any successful relationship, no matter who you are or where you come from. Good luck!
2007-03-03 04:01:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anamika 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is being a complete pig! You are already working full time and being pregnant is very hard work as well. Go on strike! When you get home from work, go sit down, put your feet up, and refuse to do anything other than care for yourself and your 5 year old. If you end up losing him, so what. You are already doing everything. He is only adding to the work. I'm sure you can find a better man.
2007-03-03 04:07:18 · answer #3 · answered by magicmunchkins 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first husband was like that. Honestly, I blame his mother. And it is the reason why I left him. Fortunately we never had any children together so it was somewhat easy but I can tell you that he was what he was and would not change. He came from an Italian family where the mother did everything and he expected the same out of me and I was not allowed to do anything with my friends or anything. After a while of trying to get him to see reason, he would not, I left. With all that said, I think you need to see a counselor together soon. People do not truly change but you guys can learn to work together to come to some resolution. I feel for you, but give it your best shoot. If you do not you will end up resenting him.
2007-03-03 04:11:06 · answer #4 · answered by ShanaJ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's that much of a no-load (given that we haven't heard his side of the story), you really need to sit his butt down for a serious discussion. Either you put up with it, he changes, or you dump him. The choices are really pretty simple (though the consequences are not).
BTW, the 5 y.o. is old enough to be doing some housework. Have you been working on that?
2007-03-03 04:03:54 · answer #5 · answered by mattzcoz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yell at him. seriously. my hubby gets no slack around the house. he better respect the fact that you are carrying his child and that it's not an easy task. and on top of that, you should not have to come home and take care of a full grown man. i would cook and do laundry for you and the child only. he can do his own chores if he wants to be that way.
2007-03-03 04:03:36 · answer #6 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because some men have mothers who did everything for them while they were growing up, and had a dad who never lifted his finger to do anything in the house. Then when they get older they think that is the way it's supposed to be. I call that laziness. My hubby is basically the same way and the reason is he is just like his dad. They think the woman is supposed to do everything. If a dirty house bothers him, let it get dirty and see if he will get his butt up and do something.
2007-03-03 04:02:07 · answer #7 · answered by precious1too 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately, he sounds like a horrible husband. he needs to either help you or pay for someone to do so. he must have shown his laziness with the first child, so why are you still having his kids? get rid of him and move closer to your family.
2007-03-03 04:01:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He;s trying to train you to do it all. He figures if he gives you a hard time, you'll just do it to avoid the conflict. Unfortunately, you'll have to have one foot out the door all the time to make him step up.
This might sound mean, but I wouldn't do my sister's housework just because her husband was lazy.
2007-03-03 04:00:21 · answer #9 · answered by Kacky 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
send him over, I'll sort him out! @#$#%@$#% what kind of moron is he?
Tie an 8-pound weight in front of his tummy and make him do all the things you do!
Seriously, ask your doctor to talk to him ASAP!
Good luck & have a healthy baby :))
2007-03-03 04:03:19 · answer #10 · answered by PSM 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋