Should I change my psychologist?

Question

Lately, we have been talking about a very sensitive subject that is difficult for me to talk about. I've been wanting to avoid going to her sessions. I've been apathetic towards most people around me, bitchy, rude, angry. Is that normal? I keep getting headaches and feel sad in this environment. What's going on? I'm 19.

I like her, but it's not helping me with my current problems.

We are discussing a sensitive topic, is it natural to want to avoid talking about this?

I was very nice and sweet my first semester, now everyone is starting to see my other real side. I feel so revealed, without any protection. It might just come down to this that I am a horrible wperson no wants to be friends with.

Not on medication.

Answer 1

It's very hard to change a psychologist, they are there to change you.hahaha Why are you going to her, was it your choice to seek treatment? What ever issues you have must be dealt with. But I would suggest mentioning your concerns and she should explain why things are the way they are or should suggest trying another counselor . If it is not working out for you, find someone you like.

Answer 2

Unfortunately, you can't really get anywhere until you talk about uncomfortable topics. I've had about five psychologists before the one I have now, and until I found one that I started dreading and who made me uncomfortable, nothing ever got to any real change. Go ahead and talk to her about the way you feel about these sessions. Not knowing what the subject is, I can't tell you exactly what I would do, but go ahead and tell her that it makes you uncomfortable. I don't know what the apathy, rudeness, etc might have to do with that, but I suspect you would be more able to get past this if you let yourself get through the difficult part of the therapy. At some point, you will most likely reach a shift in perception on this topic and it will become easier for you. So yes, actually it is normal.

Answer 3

Were you bitchy, rude and angry BEFORE seeing the psychologist? Or is that the reason for all the above? If you feel uncomfortable with this person, yes, find someone else. It took a couple of tries before I found the right one. The reason for going is to open up and talk about the "sensitive subject", that's part of your healing process. If you can't open up, there is no reason to be there. You could have a hormonal imbalance, could be bi-polar. Make sure you have had a good medical check up, before convincing yourself you have a mental problem.

Answer 4

During sessions, your counselor is trying to get to the root of your problems and then help you to start making positive changes in your life to create improvements.

Before changing pschologists, you need to determine if you actually do have a bad one, or if you are experiencing normal reactions to the counseling process.

Negative or uncomfortable feelings during counseling are normal and can arise for a number of reasons. Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth about themselves or about others. Sometimes they fear and reject change. Sometimes they get overwhelmed with new insights.

Headaches, extended illness and even other mysterious pains and complications are sometimes triggered by emotional stress. These are called psychosomatic symptoms and they usually disappear for most people once they get better at relieving tension, fear and anxiety. (This doesn't mean for certain that your headaches are psychosomatic. If they persist you should see your doctor about them.)

Feeling better involves several steps:

- Understanding yourself and where your negative feelings originated from.
- Learning stress and anger management and relaxation techniques to help curb tension.
- Taking slow, steady, progressive steps towards overcoming any fears that are holding you back in life (a process called desensitization).
- Medication should be used only as a last resort or if genuine medical/helath problems have been proven by a physician.

A good therapist will incorporate all of these aspects into your sessions and it could take some time before you really start to feel the results.

Whether you decide to switch psychologists or stay with the one you have, please believe that things can and will improve if you stick with it. I wish you the best and compliment you for having the wisdom to seek counseling and to question whether or not you are getting the best.

Educating yourself should help the process go faster and smoother for you. There is an excellent book that helps people through the process of desensitization...it's called "Stop Running Scared". Here's a link to it.

http://www.allbookstores.com/book/0941968057

A few other helpful/interesting books:

http://www.amazon.com/Personality-Plus-rev-exp-Understanding/dp/080075445X
http://www.amazon.com/Birth-Order-Book-Why-Way/dp/080075977X
http://www.amazon.ca/Unlocking-Secrets-Your-Childhood-Memories/dp/0785266038
http://www.amazon.com/Present-Secret-Enjoying-Your-Work/dp/0385509308

Answer 5

It's normal for things to get worse before they get better. I'm betting that that is how it USUALLY goes, but I'm not a therapist. In any case, it's totally common. Let her know that you are having a hard time talking about this topic, and that it is affecting how you treat others. This will be a familiar thing to your therapist. Also, maybe she can teach you specific skills on how to handle the stress so that you don't verbally act out against others-that's a great skill to have, because there will always be crappy things in life, so you need to know how to not inflict your own inner torment onto innocent bystanders. So far as changing therapists, you have to think about whether or not you're shooting the messenger, here. Is it her, or is it the icky topic? sounds like the latter, to me.

Good luck!! Sounds like you are making progress!!

Answer 6

are you on medication as well?

as for changing psychologist i would stay with the one you have as the next one will only get to the same question at some point the whole idea of see in these people is not for answers but to understand the subjects which hurt us more , as for you getting headaches in the environment that will be due to the rise in your stress levels as you are fighting your self and don't want to open up! In your next session tell them how you feel about the subject when you are asked about it ,

Answer 7

It's with your psychologist that you should talk about the difficult things. If he/she doesn't know and understand them, how can they help you? No matter what psychologist you see, you will have to talk about the tough things.

You have to determinie if you're not comfortable because of talking about the tough stuff or if there's another reason. If there is another reason, you should consider changing. If it is because of talking about the tough stuff, then maybe you should consider staying because that's what they are suppose to do.

Still, if you're not comfortable with him/her, find another one knowing the difficult conversations will still come up. This is your head and your mindset and your life you're talking about -- you should be working with someone you feel comfortable with.

Also, you should definitely talk to your parents about this or someone you trust who's a bit older than you and have more life experience. Getting advice from people who are close to you can help -- and you don't have to take it.... just weigh it in with your own thoughts.

Answer 8

Hi Rebecca,
What you are experiencing is VERY normal! You are about to breakthrough a very difficult subject, and your emotions are raw.
I suggest you face this head on! Talk to your therapist openly and honestly, you will feel so much better when this terrible burden is lifted from your shoulders. Best of luck to you.

Answer 9

Well what ever your "issue" is, it seems that if you are rude around your friends and sad that would be normal if a reletive died or a parent died. If your not comfortable with the psycoligists, go find a different one


Good Luck

Answer 10

its totally up to you. but what your explaining here is quite natural. you sound to me that you are depressed. those are the symptoms of depression. if you are not comfortable with this person. yes by all means get another one. but remember they are here to help you. GOOD LUCK