My son is 2yrs and 4 months old...I think i'm going crazy.I love him to bits,but he constantly whines and is so objective to everything I say or ask.Will this end?
2007-03-03 02:18:35 · 23 answers · asked by wednesday 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Your child is testing his power over you. At his age, he doesn't yet understand that other people have needs and feelings. His own are all that concern him. You must assert yourself as an adult. If he whines, ignore him. He is just trying to manipulate you into giving him his own way or else get your complete attention. By ignoring children when they are displaying negative behaviours, you teach them that their behaviour is unacceptable. You are his mum, you are the one in charge!
If your child is naughty, you must punish him in a consistent manner. "Time out" is a good technique. First ask him nicely to do what you say, then if he is stubborn, repeat your request in an authoritative voice. If he still refuses, take him silently to a safe room or put him on a designated "naughty place" and let him stay there for one minute for each year of his age. He will cry and thrown a tantrum but eventually, he will calm himself down when he sees his strategy is not working. Explain to him why you put him in "time out" so he understands what he did wrong.
This is a very difficult time that can feel more like a war than a loving parental relationship but if you are consistent in your rules and punishments, you will come out of it fine. Children need boundaries and rules to understand the world and feel safe. You are not being cruel by ignoring him when he whines and punishing him. Remember to praise him up when he is good. This lets him know that he is modelling good behaviour and makes him happy. Try to have as much play time with him as you can. Positive attention from you will make him less likely to throw a tantrum. It is important to be strong when going through "the terrible two's". If you relent too much, you will find it very difficult to control your son's behaviour as he gets older.
Try watching "The House of Tiny Tearaways". Dr Tanya Byron has some excellent strategies for coping with challenging behaviour. She has a book based on another program called "Little Angels" that you might find helpful.
Good luck!
2007-03-03 02:38:47 · answer #1 · answered by queenbee 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have a son who will be 2 this May, he whines a lot too. It is all about patience and accepting I think. I guess we have to remember they are just little people, they've only been here for 2 years so still have a lot to learn. I try and remember "its not the end of the world" whenever he tests my patience. Deep breathes and I work out whether its a big deal if he doesn't put his shoes on now, eats all his dinner, has toast instead of veges for one night, etc, etc.
It will pass at some point, some sooner than others. We'll get there and then when they are a teenager we'll still ask why they are so objective to everything, won't tell us anything, etc! The joy of children : - )
2007-03-03 15:36:01 · answer #2 · answered by Mitsy77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can sympathize.
I am a stay at home dad. I have one 3.5 and one 1.5...
The 2s with the oldest were not so bad...and he is an overall good boy, but the 3s have been worse, but a different worse.
To the whining: Well, when either of our kids start whining, they go straight to their room. No talking about it, no discussing it. You whine, you go to your room. It does not keep them from doing it, but it slows it down and I don't have to hear it.
As far as arguing with everything and generally being contrary:
Be glad for that. He is developing his own thinking process, his own personality. If you squash it too much, he will not learn to be a free thinker. I know it is frustrating, and it can drive even the BEST parent or grandparent crazy, but it is necessary for development. We are now in the 'why' stage with the older one. THAT will drive you nuts too. It takes patience.
But, yes it will end. Have patience, do not be afraid to make him go play in his room alone. He will be fine, have a mommy time out here and there.
2007-03-03 03:50:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon this is a prequel to the teen years...lol..lol. I'm mom to 3 and I learned the hard way with my oldest. You simply have to remember it will end. The best thing to do is talk to the little one. Let them know you don't understand them when they are whining. Let them make a few decisions, like what to wear, what to have for lunch. It cuts down on the disagreeable 2 yo stuff. They do understand you. When my now 17 yo son was little I spoke to him as I would anyone else. Very little of the cutesy words or sounds. My ped's doctor told me it was best thing I could do. So, talk to the little one. Let them know mom isn't happy when they do the whining and fighting with you. It will get easier I promise.
2007-03-03 05:01:36 · answer #4 · answered by Melanie A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things will get better a bit! I know how u feel my youngest is almost 2 and is turning from a cute little angel in to a monster! His favourite word at the mo is no and he loves to scream! I've been through it before though got 2 older kids and things do change eventually! I found the best way to cope is to tire them out then u can get peace while they sleep! Take him to the park,let him run around for a while.Have u joined a playgroup? this will exhaust him and you'll get to meet other mothers in the same situation as you. Also get your husband/partner to look after him for the night and go out and enjoy yourself, u need time out too!
2007-03-03 04:08:40 · answer #5 · answered by pumping iron 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you dont survive them! Well, actually, we have to, but it keeps going into the terrible 3's and 4's. I feel ya, my son is 3 and I have a 1 yr old also, and it gets rough some days, but you will make it. Youre not alone though, there are millions of us mommys going crazy with you!
2007-03-03 03:58:49 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It wont end it will just change, my 2 year old daughter is into everything, she has drawn on every surface available in my house. My 6 year old is a whiner who drips and moans about everything (love her to bits though) and my 10 year old is a gobby little madam, so yes, his moaning will probably stop but the thing is, what will take its place. Just enjoy the best bits as much as you can.
2007-03-03 02:26:38 · answer #7 · answered by jo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my little girl has just turned 3 and im sorry to tell you it doesnt end after the age of two.the only advise i can give you is that you be VERY patient and when it comes to disciplining be very constant so that your little boy understands what will happen when he is naughty, if you change the punishment i have found that it confuses them and they just throw even more of a tantrum. as far as whining goes try to just ignore it and once he realises that it doesnt get a response he should get the message. patience is a virtue and my god you will need it! i know i have the patience of a saint. hope this helps xx
2007-03-05 09:05:06 · answer #8 · answered by fluffyduck84 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep a tube of glue on standby - every time you tear your hair out with frustration, stick it back on and everyone will think you're fine.
Seriously though, wherever possible try to focus on the positive aspects, all the good things he can do now that he couldn't when he was a baby etc. I'm assured it gets better.
2007-03-05 01:18:57 · answer #9 · answered by captainreilly83 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sort of... LOL :-) they'll try forever after, whatever works!!
Your son is testing boundaries, that's perfectly normal behaviour! The trick is to be firm and consistent. You set acceptable limits, he needs to find out what they are first and then he tests to see which limits he can 'bend'!
I have lots of coffee breaks when things get too much. Remind yourself that they are only this age once, and enjoy him, tantrums and all. They grow up too fast...
The good news is, it will end. As long as you are consistent.
2007-03-03 02:50:24 · answer #10 · answered by Aussie mum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋