How do I get my 17 month old to behave at a wedding?

Question

My best friend is getting married next weekend and my husband and I are thinking about letting my mother-in-law watch our daughter for a few hours instead of taking her to the wedding because she will not sit still through the ceremony. She wants to go run around and run off and I just don't know what to do. A friend bought us the teddy bear backpack that has the "leash" (for lack of a better term) and I tried it just once and she doesn't like it. Is this normal behavior?? I feel so bad because every time I try to take her somewhere she just wants to run off. Any suggestions? Thanks!

Answer 1

she is only 17 months old! She is not going to behave like a 6 year old that can sit still in a creremony like that . Leave her home with your mother and have her take care of the little one . Yes the little one wants to run off, because she wants to explore the new world to her

Answer 2

My husband and I have had situations like these before with both of our girls. What we did was if it was an event on my side of the family my husband would take my daughter and when she started misbehaving at the event, he would take her outside and take care of her until the event was over.

We didn't have anyone that could watch our children in certain situtation and you may have the same thing happened. When my fathered died my oldest was 21 months old. We all started out at the funeral service but within 5 minutes my oldest started to act up. My husband took her across the street to where the reception would be after the funeral and I got to stay at the service. While this may not be ideal we had no choice. The funeral was out of town and all family members were attending it.

17 month old children are too young to contain and force to sit anywhere. Having a back up plan is the best thing you can do. My 3 year old has only recently been able to sit down for long periods of time. When they get older like this you can bring coloring books with them and let them color or something during the event.

The last wedding we were invited to was out of town as well and it was my side of the family. They refused to allow children so my husband stayed at the hotel and watched the children while I attended the wedding.

Answer 3

My suggestion is that you don't take her to the wedding. Weddings take rather longer than most people think, especially if it's a Christian wedding that includes Communion.

For the future, slowly get your daughter used to the harness. It's invaluable for keeping track of her in stores, parks, etc., especially with the constant threat of stranger abduction. In addition, since toddlers are unpredictable in running off, it's a great safety device. When my son was a toddler, I put a bell on it so that if the 'leash' slipped out of my hand, I could follow the sound of the bell and catch up with him easily.

There's a wonderful story told by (if I remember correctly) T. Berry Brazleton, the eminent child development expert, about a woman who was out walking with her son, and the child was in a harness. An immaculately groomed woman came up to her and started berating the mother for treating her child like a dog. While the woman was yelling, the boy dropped his toy truck, and it rolled down a driveway into the street. Naturally enough, the kid tried to run after it, but couldn't reach it because of the harness. Just then, a dump truck came down the street and crushed the toy truck, and surely would have killed the child had he not been in the harness. Needless to say, the immaculately-groomed woman turned around and left without saying another word.

Answer 4

Using a leash or not taking her places is not teaching her how to behave in public. All you really can do is to keep running after her. I would use this wedding as a good day to have for just you and your husband to have some fun together and let her have some fun with Grandma. Or take her for an hour or so just to the reception so everyone can see how she has gotten!!

Answer 5

I would suggest finding a babysitter. If your child is anything like mine, she will want to be up and about, and all she will do is disrupt the wedding. Either by crying b/c she is mad that you won't let her up, or b/c you do let her wander and she wanders right up to the bride and groom. Which may be funny, but not so much, you know what I mean? I took my son to a funeral when he was 9 months old and he decided he needed to talk over the priest in his baby babble. As for the "leash" of course she doesn't like it. You wouldn't. And as for her running off everytime you take her somewhere, get used to it. It's a unspoken toddler understanding that that's what toddlers do. They're curious about everything, and that's all it amounts to. She isn't doing it to make you mad. She's just curious about the world. Just for the time being get a babysitter for things like this and hold her hand when you, say, take her to the mall. If she throws a fit b/c you won't let go of her, put her in a cart. If she doesn't want to be in the cart, then she'll behave. That's all I can offer you for advice.

Answer 6

Your 17 month old is acting like a perfectly normal baby girl. She wants to run around and run off because that is what babies DO. They are active little people at that age, and do not understand the whole concept of "Time to sit still and listen to the minister and watch the lady in the white dress during this boring dull one hour or longer ceremony, and no, you can NOT burble and dance and yell right now."

Go with your first instinct and let your mother-in-law watch her. Weddings are no fun for babies, and babies are, frankly, no insult intended to your little darling, an annoyance to the bride, groom, and other guests at a wedding, simply because babies will be babies, regardless of how sweet and cute they are.

Answer 7

Some churches have quite rooms in the back where you can see and hear everything but they can not hear you. If that is the case at this church you an sit there and still be able to bring her with you. If not bring toys or coloring book to keep her busy if she get restless sneak out and let her mover around a bit. Just be sure to sit toward the back where you can step out if need to. I had to watch my girlfriends little girl while she got married it was hard to keep her quite but she was only a few months old gave her a bottle and she was fine. If there is a toy she has wanted tell her she can have that toy as long as she is good and quite. If she starts to get loud remind her about the toy. I hope some of this is helpful to you. good luck.

Answer 8

first of all i do not be live in treating your kid like a dog with a leash OK she is a child with needs.first of all you have to start training your child from now how to behave when she leaves the house. i am a mother of 2 and my son is 20 who's in Iraq and my daughter is 11 i never had a preamble for i make sure an train them the way my parents brought us up.

what you need to do is let her play alot before you leave for the wedding so that way when she gets to the wedding she should be sleeping and when she gets up the ceremony shoul be over i hope you have fun. and i am not saying that you are a bad mom but it seem like she is your first baby but honey you do not need to spoil them you need to love them . i hope that i was some help to you .

Answer 9

She would not be normal if she wasn't wiggling and exploring. It would be great (if mom in law is ok) for your daughter to spend time with grandma. Don't expect her to sit too still for more than a few minutes. A leash is not necessarily a bad thing, I have used it in crowded and dangerous situations, and the kid hates it, but it beats loosing her.
If you really want to take her to the ceremony, bring small snacks (cheerios) and quiet toys (crayons) that will entertain her.

Answer 10

Leave her with Grandma, Weddings for the most part aren't geared toward children. She can either have fun with Grandma or be miserable and bored with you causing you to have a bad time, maybe even leave early. Go to the wedding, enjoy yourself, if you have a 17 mo. old you probably deserve some adult time with your Husband anyway.