Why don’t some parents see the benefits of spanking?

Question

Not every child responses to a time out or to have privileges taken away. My brother and I were to different kids. Our mother wanted us home from playing at a certain time we were late once and got grounded I never did it again. I would leave my brother and come home. He did it again got grounded and could not go play for a month. Still did it again. Got spanked the third time and was never late coming home. I think in certain situations and when a child is really young that spanking is a tool that parents can use.

Answer 1

The Spanking Law in New Zealand is now at our Parliment. 80% of New Zealanders want the NO SPANKING. I think this stinks. My son is now going on 31 and I have smacked his backside for things that he shouldn't have done .... like :

Putting a key into the electrical circuit.
Putting his hands over the stove when it was hot.
Jumping over my garden which his cousin did and went right through the ranch-slider.
Not cleaning up his room when he had been told twenty times, and then he fell over his lego set and screamed his head off.

I definitely agree with spanking. Not hard, but just hard enough to let them know that enough is enough.

And now the kids over here are running rampart around the streets at night. And most of them are 12/13 year olds.

And what do they get when they are out after midnight burgularing some place and knocking down letterboxes ... they get sent to the Youth Aid Division. About time they got the parents to pay for all the damages they are doing. Or really ask ... why didn't the parents know that their kids are out after midnight. Might be because the parents are partying up at the pub.

Answer 2

Personally I don't spank my kids because I think it is abusive. I can't understand why someone would want to cause pain to someone they love so much. My kids are very well behaved and do very well in school and I have never laid a hand on them so not spanking them has worked great for me. Some people think that spanking is right, I just don't -it instills fear in children, do you ever see those children in stores or out somewhere and their parents are yelling at them and the child is ducking away from the parent? I never want to see my child do that, if you make them afraid of you they will never tell you anything about their lives and that can be dangerous.

Answer 3

It depends on the child and on the family, as you yourself have just pointed out.

In our family, spanking is about as useless as boobs on a bull. Our kids seem to have rear ends made of solid rock, they don't feel a thing, and walk away from a spanking and repeat the behavior all over again. But taking away privileges or having them do an extra chore sure has an immediate and positive effect.

That being said, with small kids, I think that a swat on the diaper side is a good solid way to teach them not to put their hand on the hot stove. I'd far rather hurt their pride than have them get a third degree burn.

Answer 4

Because too many parents spank for the littlest things. It gets out of control. Parents start spanking for the "big" punishments and pretty soon they use spankings as an everyday punishment. I have read too many times that parents do not spank out of anger. Please tell me, if you have a very wiggly 5 year old across your lap or across the bed or whereever you choose to spank your child, and you are aiming for their behind and your child is crying and begging you not to spank, taking their hands and trying to hide their behinds, etc. You can honestly tell me that you can calmly tell your child to remove their hands and to stop wiggling and calmly spank your child...... as an experiment, take a full sized pillow (one you would sleep on in your bed) lay it across your lap and smack one end of it as hard as you can. Do it quite a few times, because you want to "teach that pillow a lesson," right? You can't tell me that your heart rate did not raise and that your adrenalin did not pump a little harder through your body? Now imagine that pillow wiggling around like crazy and screaming for you to stop...... You don't feel the tiniest bit angry?
Sorry, but there are better ways to deal with kids than spanking.

Answer 5

i don't believe in hitting children what so ever. I was beaten as a child and i'm telling you it will only hurt your child emotionally for the rest of their life. I know not all children are beat but still, violent physical contact with them in not at all good for them. They are your children not your punching bags, teach them by being consistant with your punishments and if they still do not listen make the punishmints stronger. Don't stick your 8 year old in the corner and when they do it again put them back, take something away from them, no tv for a week, make them stay in on a day the were planning to go out with friends and make them do some extra chores, don't hit them, use the punishments to also show them responsibility not by hitting them and telling them its ok to do it too, next thing you know they'll be hitting kids in school because someone took something of theirs after they said not to.

Answer 6

Violence is never the answer. Especially in child rearing. Spanking teaches children that it's ok to harm somone who is physically weaker and more helpless than you. Is this the lesson you want your kids to learn? Violence against a child harms the parent-child bond for life.

Answer 7

I agree with you. More important people shouldn't criticize others methods of parenting, weather it's for or against spanking. You said it best spanking is a tool, a tool helps get the job done, doesn't get it done, by it's self. I to find a need for spanking every once in a while.

Answer 8

I agree with you. But most of us grew up with parents more worried abotu controlling us than teachign us. Spanking takes on an entirely different light in that situation.

Answer 9

B/c it is seen as negitaive reinforcement, your punishing them for bad behavior, not listening ect....with a behavior you are telling them is bad and they shouldn't do. So I personally don't see the benefits of it and have had no problems with my children, you may have to get a little more creative in your rules and concequences as they get older.

Answer 10

i totally see your view.thought i'm a child, i see why my mom would spank me.to me, spanking is not a form of abuse,until you abuse it,by spanking in their face or something.I also babysit, and sometimes, the parent may say to disipline their children using spanking,me being a child,i don't feel that's it's right to spank another child.but sometimes i do.
like i was babysitting a 6 year old, i told her to got to bed,she shouted no and ran around the house, knocking things over and cursing,she kicked her brother and kept screaming.she also refused to sit down,and talk to me.
i made a threat,and said"if you don't sit down and listen to me,i may have to spank you". i dont think she got the message,because she still kept doing everything i told her not to do.finnally i got sick of it and sent her brother off to bed and and pulled her over to me and spanked her.she was upset and probaly a little embarrassed,but she said sorry and went to bed.

to me, spanking should not be a first resort,unless it's something that's just horrible.
there are many many benefits to spanking:

teaching right from wrong
getting a child's attention
teachin what's unacceptable


me for instence,i hated getting spanked, but i also know right from wrong,i'm a good student, with all a's and b's,i also wouldn't think about misbehaving in school,and i think that's what we kids need nowadays.i'm sure,everychild on this site,would probaly disagree,but it's true.