Why do women not answer emails asking them out?

Question

A couple of times in my life, I've asked women out by way of email.

What I don't get is this: Why don't they answer?

I'm not saying anything disrespectful or rude, just a general invite out.

What I get back is nothing. Not a yes, not a no, nothing.

In the most recent case, I had met a Korean woman through two mutual friends. The four of us had dinner together. The Korean woman seemed interested in going out with me, giving me her email and phone number. We discussed the kind of stuff we like to do, and more or less had chosen bowling as an activity.

So this week when I asked her out, I got no response. What's going on, and what should I do next?

Am I obligated to even show up at the bowling alley?

Thanks for all the answers. There are a couple of things I should add about the Korean woman in question.

One thing is that her english wasn't very good. Our friends had to translate between the two of us numerous times.

The second is that, while it may be true that email is generally a pretty lame way to ask someone out, she specifically asked me to email her. What I understood from her is that she felt she'd be more able to understand what I was saying via email as opposed to over the phone.

Again, thanks for your answers and I look forward to reading more.

Answer 1

You're asking people out by e-mail? If you're not going to use your cajones and ask someone out face-to-face what makes you think you're going to get to use your cojones in any other way?

And don't even try to figure out what's going through a Korean woman's mind. It's never worth the hassle.

Answer 2

Sorry, but asking a woman out by email is kind of lame. If you want a definate answer from a women, call her on the phone or talk to her face-to-face. If you call, don't just leave a message because then she may not call you back. If she doesn't pick up, wait and call a couple of hours or so later.
This Korean woman thing is kind of weird. It seems like you too were gettting along great. If you asked her out by email or left a message on her answering machine, there is a chance that she didn't get the message or accidentally deleted it. If i were you I would try again and (as I said above) talk to her face-to-face or talk to her on the phone person-to-person.

Answer 3

If you didnt get a response, no, I don't think you're obligated to show up. It seems rude to me to not give you a yes or a no. I personally don't nor would ever date someone I met online for safety reasons.

And I completely disagree that you should phone someone for a date. I'm deaf and I despise it when people call me on the phone because it makes me feel like the person doesn't care enough to communicate the way I'm most comfortable communicating, which is on the computer vs. the phone. I would want people to either email me or IM me to ask me on a date.

Answer 4

OMG! I didn't read everything u wrote, but I can tell u, as a female, I wouldn't answer because that's pretty tacky, cheap & chicken ****, if ya ask me. It's much more charming & flattering to be approached in person or even pay us the respect of a phone call. I could go on & on but I would hope you'd get the jest of what I'm saying from the above. Getta spine, baby! That's just unattracting, as well as, disrespectful, in the form of an e-mail...point blank!

Answer 5

You should have called her. Before the night at the bowling alley, call her and ask if she is going to be there and if you could pick her up. If I were you I would show up with some flowers. And from now on call on the phone.

Answer 6

Because we would rather be asked out on the phone or in person. Email is a bit impersonal.

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In response to Trish, while I am not callous to the fact that you and other people are deaf, most people aren't. Most people would prefer a man calling her to ask her out. If a deaf person prefers email contact then that should be made clear in the beginning.

Answer 7

The reasons may be follow :

1. she think it is a prank
2. she never check her email
3. she may not know who send the email
4. she is not interested in you
5. she think you are not sincere
6. she think you are a timid mouse

Why not call her by telephone and you can get the answer immediately. The answer is either yes or no. If it is yes ,good! if it is no , just move on to another girl.Do not waste time wondering.

Answer 8

As a girl I can say with confidence that asking them out through email is very unromantic. I mean, anyone can write an email. Try calling her instead. That shows you can take time out for her.

Good Luck with your love life.

Answer 9

Korean women have communication difficulties to begin with. Add in the fact that they are like the old people who play deaf when they don't want to hear something, and you have a group of women you are forced to be direct with in your communications, talk only face to face, or pretty much forget it.

Answer 10

emailing a girl to ask her out is lame. we want to be asked out in person or on the phone not by email. and maybe the korean girl really actually didnt like u.