time to clean up my act to many violations some clean ones funny or not?

Question

Spotted in the toilet of a London office: "Toilet out of order. Please use floor below."

In a Laundromat: "Automatic washing machines. Remove all your clothes when the light goes out."

In a London department store: "Bargain Basement upstairs."

In an office: "Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday bring it back, or further steps will be taken."

In an office: "After tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board."

Outside a secondhand shop: "We exchange everything -- bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?"

Notice in health food shop window: "Closed due to illness."

Spotted in a safari park: "Elephants stay in your car."

Seen during a conference: "For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care center on the 1st floor."

Notice in a farmer's field: "The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges."

Answer 1

Faf, I`m not talking a tea break that`s for sure!!

Loved these 10/10 an` a*

Tink xx

p.s I bet I`ve got more violations than you! (1a put a 5er on it `eh) ;)

x

Answer 2

funny dude, funny

There are people on this site who will report others out of pure spite

incidentally, can I please ask EVERYONE to complain about Violations when they are not warranted.?
A lot of people have been deleted recently after working very hard to get up to a level where they can ask and answer unlimited.

If you get violated for something that is NOT even close to being offensive, please report it with the email header "harassment by another user" and state that you do not deserve this violation. Say that it is harassment and you want the matter investigated and the REPORTERS account suspended.

I will be reporting EVERY one from now on

Lets stop the mindless yobs destroying our work

Just one point though. If you deserve the Violation - take it on the chin !

Answer 3

Very,very funny.How about these for your collection:
In a doctor's waiting room:Stroke patients:don't feel alone.
In an Irish hotel: Please do not lock the door as we have lost the key.
Outside a Hong Kong tailors:- Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
On a plumber's van:Don't sleep with a drip,call your plumber.
On an asphalt truck:-Let us fill your crack.


In a barber's shop:-Haircuts half price today.One only per customer.
In a hospital:-Dangerous drugs must be locked up with Matron.

Answer 4

Where DO you get this stuff from - even Bob Monkhouse (R.I.P.) wouldn't have come down to this level. I reckon you're an aspiring script writer and these (and most of your other offerings) are the rejections ! That's fair enough and if it IS the case, good luck to you, but WHY OH WHY do you inflict them on us ! What have we done to upset you so much - if we apologise will you forgive us.....


(Sorry - couldn't resist have a go in jest - actually, they're not really THAT bad............!)

Answer 5

your very funny tonite chris 10/10

Answer 6

I love one liners. A star for you.

Answer 7

Funny!!!

Answer 8

hehe.funny :P

Answer 9

HAHAHAHA!!!!