why do older men but men in general lie and cheat and destroy a womans heart and self worth?

Question

i met my ex three years ago when i was eighteen. im now 21. to be honest i didn't intially find him all that attractive. he was paying me lots of attention and thats why i gave him my time. he dropped me home that night and things took off from there (NOT SEXUALLY!). we exchanged numbers and after our first date we started dating. i didn't want to really date him but i wanted someones love at that time and he was there so i accepted him. he was alot older than me 15 years older. he proposed to me 4 months down the line. everything was going fine. then he got me pregant a year down the line. and then just left me. the relationship wasn't plain sailing. after the first year it all went pear shaped. he just lied all the time wasn't around. was dating other women behind my back. he's on a cheating mens database. i just don't know why he came into my life was so sweet and caring got me pregnant and left me to raise our baby on my own. i can't believe why he's done this i thought he loved me

Answer 1

You feel victimized doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you. You need to be gentle with yourself. Love you above all else reason being your life and happiness is something you should be very passionate about and make it a habit refuse to settle just for the sake of being in a relationship. Majority of women go with what they FEEL more than what they NEED. All too often this need to feel appreciated and admired can draw us into saying "yes" when actually we really mean "no" you said that best yourself. Some people will want certain things and sort of make the person a substitute by trying to create those qualities in that person.Wrong move...Gather all your insights and leave the excess baggage in the past live, learn, grow and move on. Start out fresh have patience and be open minded not all men are the same. Next time ask yourself what would you do differently? Will this person bring me short term gratification or a long term fulfillment?

Answer 2

First of all, men AND women cheat, JUST AS MUCH AS THE OTHER. You just dont hear how women are coniving and mean; all the same, I'm sorry to hear this about you and this guy. I am a man who has cheated on a few girls. So I should be able to shed some light on this more then other guys that would never admit to something like that. I will take this from every standpoint that I possibly can to not only give you my opinion but give you historical, and factual information so maybe this will seem like something that is just a way of the world, and not the end of it. In the most basic sense, men are attracted to woman, instinctively, to mate and make more of themselves. No caveman ever thought, "I wonder if Urga, my current mate, will be upset, or mad, or feel unattractive, if I mated with Loora from the other side of the mountain? I better think this through." That never, ever happened. To be honest, no thoughts like that went through ANY mens' head until about 1949. Maybe later. Men love to have sex and need to have attention from other women. On the moral standpoint, it is HORRIBLY WRONG, and though I myself have messed up in the past, I do what I can everyday to prevent it from happening again, including counseling and being able to admit I was wrong and comfort my girl, EVERY SINGLE DAY I AM BREATHING ON THIS EARTH. I do love my woman, and I AM still attracted to other women, but I will never cheat on my girl again because I dont want her to hurt as she has in the past. My love for her is my guide and if your man screwed up on you, he doesn't deserve you anymore than I deserve my wife. But on behalf on most men, sorry. We are bastard lying jerks. And you deserve a good man. So keep trying, they ARE out there.

Answer 3

once he caught u he no longer wanted u anymore or any of the responsibilities. we sometimes marry for the wrong reasons, we may have a low self worth anyway and when someone is showering us with alot of attention we can easily think its love when its not. we always think they loved us, but truthfully if they did they would not do this to us. u wanted someones love, any ones love, so u settled for someone who turned out to be far from who u thought he was. divorce him once the child is born, get your child support, go back to school, and get to really know the next one u get involved with. people never bother to look into someones past, we just imagine all will fall into place once marriage takes place. he lied to get what He wanted off u, than when the responsibilities and every day married life came, he didn't want that part of it. good luck. and please accept it, get far away from this man he will not change he is too old. if u checked u would probably find out that he has done this same thing to others too.

Answer 4

SOME men may lie and cheat but not all..ur young and this older guy may have tried to take advantage of that. as far as taking ur self worth, just look at the word "self" worth..thats how u feel about u..he cant take that from u..u need to realize youre a good person and keep ur standards high..u will eventually find someone right for u, but dont lose urself in any man..its not worth it..

Answer 5

well first things first ,i;m so so sorry but please don;t hold that against all men.that makes you hold a resentment inside.and those feelings will keep you from being the wonderful person GOD intended you to be, not all guys are pigs, some actually care and loving to a woman, older pigs just some of them not all have experience you don;t,they will try to exploit that,be very careful, check them out for a while but don;t judge all men by him the right one is there, wish you good things , I'm here if you need to talk ,

Answer 6

There are a group of older men who do prey on young women. This is why 18 year olds and 30 year olds should never date let alone get married!

Answer 7

Maa'm he was a player to be short and a sack of lying sh*t also for upping and leaving like that. Not all men are like this, however you came across someone who KNEW EXACTLY what a women wants to hear and that what he gave you and nothing more. In short all style no substance.

Reading your post, sounds like you lacked that self worth in the first place and he picked up on that and used it to seduce you.

Answer 8

dear..I am very sorry..for to learn about you. in your country....I think its very rare a lady like you to have an older man as your partner....whatever the reason you should take care of you at that time...and now think. about ..." what you can do to overcome from this situation..." or how to cop up with this issue...I know its very painful and very difficult by mentally and physically...'there is no way to find out his whereabouts? is there any law to protect you and your baby by prosecute him for child support and for your expense? find out all those things...and be positive,everything will be alright...and pls.don't judge all older men s are cheater/not trust worthy or heartless.

Answer 9

This has more to do with him and less to do with you. You seen what you wanted to see, he was who he is. He is obviously that type of person, and for whatever reason you were blind to who he really is. He never changed you just woke up. Be more careful with the choices you make and the men you lay down with. Very simple. what looks good is not always good for you. Be more cautious next time. Good luck and God bless****

Answer 10

I'm sorry for what has happened to you. Right now you should focus on raising your baby and moving on with your life. That man was immature, and stupid. You will be fine in time, pray and find support with your family or maybe your friends through this tough time.