Why do parents think it is ok to smack children?

Question

We as adults are supposed to bring children up, not bring them down. If an adult does something wrong, we don't smack them. If an adult repeats a mistake we don't hit them. Why smack innocent children? And why do it repeatedly? And for all people who say it didn't hurt them as a child, it did hurt you because you are repeating a horrible cycle. As a kid you hated getting smacked. You didn't learn after the first smack. Learn to speak to your child. Be verbal, not physical.

myrtairav and tausha87, I can 100% see your point of view. I understand and can accept that if you see a danger with children that a smack is needed. I have just seen so many questions on this site and some people think it is ok to smack kids repeatedly for insignificant things. That's what gets my goat.

Answer 1

i do believe in spanking but only on the butt, and only when NEEDED. My son is 15, daughter 6 ( pregnant again) and i have only spanked them a few times each EVER. I only spank as last resort. My spankings are with my hand, to the tush, not bare tush either...... never leave a mark.

I was beat as a child and verbally abused too, and yes i hold that against my parents, And that's why I do not use those forms with my own. It upsets me to no end to see a child abused. But on the other hand some parents have no control of their kids and they act like total brats in public.

I agree be verbal as long as its not cutting their self esteem, or putting them down or name calling. My parents did that and I can tell you I would have rather they just hit me then do that. The emotional scars are way worse then physical ones some times. And I was Raised in a " good proper Catholic family " that was highly religious........... Until they got pissed behind closed doors and then they cussed at us worse then any trucker.

I believe spanking can be perfectly fine as long as the one using it knows how to do it the RIGHT way and for the right reason.

Answer 2

I think that in some points, smacking or spanking goes too far and gets abusive, but physical discipline is the best discipline at that age. Do you really think a 4 year old is going to remember a 5 minute time out, or a smack on the butt, when he is thinking about doing something bad again? And as a kid, I did hate getting spanked. But I did learn after the first smack, and thats where I dont understand your reasoning. Cause after you get spanked, every time you think about getting in a fight with your little brother, you remember that spanking. And yes, if an adult does something wrong, we dont smack them physically. But if you are an adult and you dont pay your bills, they take your house and car away. If you murder, you get a timeout for the rest of your life.

Answer 3

i agree with some of you guys on child rearing. we as parents are these kids mentor, teacher, guidance counselor and much more. we have a privilege as parents to discipline them, but in a way that doesnt cause damage to them as adults, i dont believe in beating or smacking them. i may fuss some and spank them on the butt , but it has to be something really really bad for me to go to that level.i see parents in stores and places that smack their kids in the face and all just for asking for something on the shelf. i mean please we all as kids have did it before. these parents need to remember thereselves as kids i am sure they have did the same thing. i talk to my kids about the safety issues when driving a car that distractions can cause a serious traffic accident, or death. my kids are 7 & 8 both girls, they can test your patience sometimes believe me!! but you just have to remember who is the parent and who is the child. also i dont want my kids running over me now and it get worst as they become teens, so its best to teach them right from wrong at an early age. we parents are to help and love our kids. kids are so impressionable, if you do something wrong they take that in an think they can do it to cause they see you doing it. kids are like sponges they absorb everything. so i see where you are coming from but lets be real adults and teach our kids the way of life and not hurt them.

Answer 4

People that think smacking children is wrong are ridiculous.
When I was little and behaved badly, I got hit. I didn't want to get hit, so I stopped behaving badly.
Now I haven't become some awful person because of it. I don't think my parents don't love me, I don't have to go to therapy and cry because my parents actually punished me, I don't do drugs, ect.
I behave like a normal human being with a good upbringing, which I had.

Answer 5

I was smacked once as a child. I was around 9 or 10 I think and we were travelling in our car for 3 or 4 hrs. My younger brothers and I repeatedly got out of seatbelts and used a blanket and pillows to build a cubby house on our seats. My mother pulled over the car and smacked us all once on the leg HARD. We were all very shocked and sat still and fairly quite for the rest of our trip. She did this not only because we were endangering ourselves by slipping out of our seatbelts but we were also being quite loud causing loss of focus on the the road and obstructing the view as the blanket was going everywhere.
I swore I'd never smack my kids when I had them. But now I do have children I do on occasion smack them.
I smack my kids so they know that there are consequences to their actions and to shock them and make them think before doing something. I do not smack them all the time or for minor things. I smack them if they run onto the road or other things that endanger their lives. I do this because I'd prefer they get a small tap on the bum or hand rather than have them die because I thought talking to them would stop them from being hit by a car.
My children are 6 and 4 and I do talk to them and tell them the risks and try and get them to understand that something may be fun but it is dangerous and its my job as their mother to protect them and make sure they are safe.
But because they are children and dont always see the dangers we do, they dont always think before doing something. So if my kids get ahead of themselves and run onto the road I smack them. They think its alright to do it because that particular road isnt that busy. But they have nearly gotten themsleves run over a few times just because they forget to listen as well as look before stepping onto the road. And yes I am there with them holding there hand, which is the only reason they havent actually been run over. But that one slip of thought could have killed them. So I'll smack their bum and talk to them about road safety.
I'm so sorry smacking offends you but I'd much prefer my kids live and get a few taps on their bum rather than die because I didnt teach them about consequences.

Answer 6

See this is why my husband and I don't plan on living in USA much longer. Because we can't disipline our children the way we want. I was smacked around as a kid and so was my husband and all 6 of his siblings and we all turned out fine. All his nephews and nieces get smacked when they don't listen to their fathers and they quit acting like brats and they learn not to run the house. It teaches children who's in charge better than talking does. If people hit their kids more than the world would be better especially the USA. You wouldn't have teens running around dressed like tramps and making babies that they don't care for.

Answer 7

I grew up in a time when corpral punishment was delt out in schools as well as at home......Let me think......Most of my generation has grown up wealthy and very well self disciplined.
We own the businesses, The rental houses, The transport systems And we run the government. The new idea of talk don't smack is having no effect. In the last 20 years since corpral punishment was out lawed, we've seen a rise in drug use, a rise in gang violence,Murders,muggings,rapes.........
Society without self dicipline is on a road to self destruction.
I fully support the government in it's desire to return corpral punisment in schools and compulsory enlistment into the armed forces for all new school levers...this would certainly make a difference in this world. I am the proud Father of four good kids
who are being bougt up by a firm but fair hand. they also know that when they leve school they will be enroled in the forces
becaus i don't want them ending up flipping burgers or pushing trollies or dead in some back alley due to a drug overdose......
Get a life, have some kid's of your own and then you will understand....

Answer 8

A hand smack is o.k. Children learn right from wrong at
Mothers knee! We all have to be chastised from time to time as Children. That's how we learn what is or not acceptable!
People who fail to do this, sadly, find their offspring growing
up into hooligans and thinking their way is right!
Sorry it is not the answer you want, but it is the right answer!

Answer 9

some kids don't learn from talking you need to do what is right for your child. My parents did both . My brother need to be spanked more than i did. My mother wanted us home beofre 5:00 i did not do it once got phone taken away and tv and i never did it again. My brother did it got privliages taken still did it. She talked to him and did not let him go play with the neighbors for a month still did it. He got spanked never did it again

Answer 10

I am a believer in spanking once every else breaks down, or my children break one of my "Core Rules" My Core Rules are rules on actions I won't accept as a parent (no lying, stealing....)

Although I respect your opinion not to use this method, I must say I find it very effective the rare times I do use it. I don't compare children to adults, children although sharp as tacks, can't handle situations like adults do. Spanking is consequence that we as mom and dad created so they would understand what right and wrong is. The spanking backs up our discipline.

Good Luck