My parents both abused me physically,sexually and mentally when i was little, i have moved on and i am happy ,content with my life but my daughter of nearly 13 wants desperatley to see her nannan i personally know they are no good for her but with mothers day looming she keeps on about it to me. Should i see my sister explain to her the situation and let my babes find out for herself the hard way that they no good or just put my foot down and say no obviously i don't want my child to think i'm a bad un for not letting her see her nan what would you do?
2007-03-02 19:18:24 · 10 answers · asked by clare w 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It is your duty of care as a parent to protect your child, as it was your parents. If you feel in your heart your not providing that care to your child, you know the answer to your question. We try to protect our children from strangers but how do we tell them the stranger is a family member! You know the right thing to do, i'm sure your daughter is mature enough to know some of the truth, not all, As I said we need to protect our children.
2007-03-02 22:47:56 · answer #1 · answered by narelle p 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a really hard situation. You know your parents are the worst kind of parents there are. Your daughter does not know this. If you have a good close relationship with your daughter, I suggest sitting her down and with as little details as you can ...simply tell her how your childhood was. At 13 years old in school they get a lot of information by now. Tell her its not that you dont want her to know her grandparents, but that you are protecting her and would feel uncomfortable with her being around them unsupervised. And you should! Feel uncomfortable leaving her or letting her visit these people without you around. To say no and put your foot down will only make your parents look like the good guys and you the bad. You owe her the truth.
2007-03-03 03:22:58 · answer #2 · answered by natashainka 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely NOT. Dont subject your children to the same abuse you had to endure when you were a child. You are now a mother with responsibilities and one of those is to keep your children safe and from harms way. Not to mention the fact that if you do allow them to form a relationship with an abusive family member(s) you are no better than the abusers and I would consider that alone to be child abuse.
2007-03-03 03:23:49 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My problem is somewhat similar to a degree. My abuse was mostly mentally from my mom. But I want her to be apsrt of my girls life and she is the one that keep saying she will try andnever really did, She is kinda trying now but its not how it should be but my answer to you is I understand its a hard decision but thing thats hard to except sometimes when you are in a situation like that its not your rights you're taking away its their. And thats the main thing that I base my arguement with my real mother see Im adopted and altho it hurts not to know my real family the thing that grieves my herat is I understand her rite to give me up but once I turn 18 I should have the rite to decide if i want to meet her cause thats my rite no matter wheather she was wrong for leaving me I had to understand she had that rite. My point is noone no matter what the circumstance has the power to take a persons birthright away. Your choice is your and their choice is theirs. But being that you do know in your heart the hell she put you threw you know who your mom is. Tie your heart and let them meet her and as long as you pray for protection for your kids. Also I found out living this life is most of our moms that got it wrong when it came to raising us cause some really didnt know how to be a mother we came with no instructions and altho they may never say they know in their hearts they were wrong so instead of admitting it to us , they try to make it up with our kids.. So go with God and you never know your kids just mite be you and your moms blessing that bridge not only the gap but heal some of the pain.
2007-03-03 04:31:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are right, Put your foot down and say NO.
You certainly dont want your daughter to find out the hard way.
Explain to your daughter in simple terms that you was abused and dont want your mother around you or your daughter.
2007-03-03 03:27:03 · answer #5 · answered by faith♥missouri 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have a similar situation. My father was a real jerk to me and my family and left when I was a teen. My daughter, now a teen herself, would like to meet him. I am thinking of taking her out of state, where he lives, to visit him but only planning to meet him for dinner or something that is not too involved or intrusive for all concerned (including me). It is a touchy idea for me but I can't blame her for wanting to meet her Grandfather.
2007-03-03 03:24:37 · answer #6 · answered by Melody 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Learn to forgive your parents on what they did to you in the past. You can tell your daughter what had happened when she is matured enough to understand. They are still your parents no matter what. You will be a good example to your daughter if you do that.
2007-03-03 03:25:55 · answer #7 · answered by DEAD & GONE 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Don't let your daughter associate with those people. And tell her why.
2007-03-03 03:50:19 · answer #8 · answered by Liz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is your responsiblility to protect your child. Tell her NO and why.
2007-03-03 03:25:41 · answer #9 · answered by ambernpeach 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
avoid them
2007-03-03 03:21:20 · answer #10 · answered by keral 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋