My kids are rude, condescending and disrespectful. They mainly speak to me to get something but otherwise they "don't want to deal with me". This behavior did not begin at my husband's passing but it has gotten worse. I am a God-fearing person and The Lord has given me so many miracles throughout my life that I know that He is. Ever since I was a 9 year old kid, I felt more love from Jesus than anyone around me and at 49, I feel His love more strongly but my kids even less. God wants us to have patience, love and tolerance and I have forgiven and "caved in" to try to make them happy especially now that they only have one parent but things are getting worse. Even though I know that God is here, I feel very alone and extremely sad that my own children do not seem to care about me and respect me. I am not a weak person and I set an example of respect and caring and sharing but it feels like it has not been for anything. Please advise!
2007-03-02 17:13:00 · 13 answers · asked by phyllis_gene_levy 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Well, if your kids are adults quit helping them. They should be giving, caring and helpful to you. You raised them. You can't buy love. The more you try the more they will disrespect you, but will still use you.
Trust the Lord. He can see down the road and knows what is going to happen. He said He will never forsake us and He means it. Give it to Him and He will take care of it. If you try to yourself, it will end up a big mess.
Don't mean to sound like a big cliche, but it is all true
2007-03-02 17:22:32 · answer #1 · answered by Kye H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to just keep doing what you were doing. Don't allow your children to rob you of your Godly peace. This is a time when you need to really be in the Word to help keep you strong. And there is one thing I have learned in life and that is that Christ, and only Christ, can be depended on. People will always let us down because they are human. Once our children are grown and on their own we are no longer responsible for them or their actions, just our own. It has been difficult to let go of my children to live the way they choose to even if I don't agree with it or it is outside the will of God. It has taken me years but I am learning and doing well. Pray for them constantly and know that God can't do anything with them until we remove our hands from them. You also might want to set the standard for your home and let them know what you will and will not tolerate from them and stick to it. It can be hard but it can work. This doesn't mean that you love them any less but it does send the message to them that you are to be respected if for no other reason than you are their mother and you will not tolerate their disrespect of you. Be prepared to accept that they may not come around as much but when they see you mean business, I'm sure you will begin to see some positive changes. God bless you and I'm sorry for the loss of your spouse.
2007-03-02 17:27:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello Phyllis.
Study of the points in the Bible that specifically talk about moms and kids and family would be a great start! This would be really good if you could all study together ....
A nice study aid is called " The Secret to Family Happiness" and this helps us to search the scriptures about the family.
You can get info here : http://www.watchtower.org/e/publications/index.htm
Or ask any one of Jehovah's Witnesses for a copy. They will even study the Bible with you at no charge if you would like. (or you can write away for a copy)
Mike
2007-03-02 17:33:54 · answer #3 · answered by ijeepbc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Lady, stop 'people-pleasing'! Remember, the more we try to please such rude, disrespectful, and surly people [they are your children only because they were born to you; today, they do not CARE for you, and are adults in their own minds], the more they show their negative behavior, and only want to grab more and more! so, what is the solution?
Stop pleasing them! Please everyone, and no one is happy; please yourself, and at least ONE person (you!) is happy!
So, Lord help you, keep your own dignity! You can't change anyone else, you can only change yourself. If they show disrespect , just walk out of the situation, and don't take their nonsense!
Spend your time in prayer and meditation. Enjoy simple pleasures like watching a beautiful sunset, a child's loving smile, the beauty of a rose, or the love in the eyes of young lovers in the park.
You have done your duty in raising them to become adults; now if they dont think it is their duty( out of gratitude, common decency) to help support you or be nice to you, move away and devote your self to helping other children in your community ---real little children--to grow into decent, healthy human beings!
2007-03-02 17:31:33 · answer #4 · answered by thegentle Indian 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It must be so hard for you especially if you really love your kids. My only advice that I can give is to pray for them. I've heard a lot of stories where the parents pray all their lives for their children's salvation and the kids end up changing at their parents funeral. So you might not feel like it, but have faith because your prayers will never be unanswered!
2007-03-02 18:11:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to take some time for yourself. Take a vacation, find yourself again, renew your faith in God , spend a few days praying and meditating on the Lord and dont worry about your kids right now, they are grown.I will pray for you, God Bless you.
2007-03-02 17:19:36 · answer #6 · answered by tebone0315 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am so scared to tell you that the more God Loves you the severe will be your test and if you pass this test then you will get the never ending and ever increasing joys that are to be ended with your physical death but hereafter is never ending . May God show you the right Path and give you the happiness you deserve
i feel like God is going to bless you with His rewards .Look forward to seeing them
http://www.islam.com/
2007-03-02 18:59:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, tahts a tough one. I'd say you have to stop giving into your kids, if they want something tell them NO, are any of them on drugs? They don't deserve love and respet if they can't treat you the same way, maybe once they realize they've ticked you off they'll be more respectfull. Good luck!
2007-03-02 17:19:23 · answer #8 · answered by Woody 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a good bible teaching church? I have found one lifeline pulls me through trials, and that is, being in the word of God, in study and prayer, on a regular basis. Firstly I want to pray to God in the name of His son that He will deal with the hearts of your children, and change their hearts and have them be people who respect and honor their mother. I also ask that the Lord give you grace and peace in the face of this heartbreak. Please know that God sees all this, He knows all these things, and He hears your prayers. Do not give up, whatever you do, praying for your errant children. You have no idea how powerful prayer is. Keep going and keep as close to Jesus Christ as you possibly can. I pray that you will see God's hand guide each of your children back to His ways, and I ask all these things in Jesus' name.
2007-03-02 17:19:13 · answer #9 · answered by Esther 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Give it up, get out more and enjoy yourself. You have been too gullible all these years. You will feel much better for it, it just takes a bit of courage to control your own life.
2007-03-02 17:59:55 · answer #10 · answered by brainstorm 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋