Hi! I am a 28 year old who just lost her 54 year old mother a little over 2 months ago and I am having a very hard time dealing with it. She was not only my mother but also my best friend, we did everything together, were very close and life just doesn't mean that much to me anymore now that she isn't here to share it with because I shared everything with her, we had no secrets. She was sick for 15 months before her death with a rare kidney disease that caused her to go into renal failure and require dialysis and from then on out she was always in the hospital it seemed, her body just constantly worked against her. I was her caregiver when she became sick also so that just brought us even closer. What makes it harder is out of my 28 yrs. I think we went maybe 2-3 days without talking and now not having her here to talk to is killing me. Like I said, life just doesn't seem important now and I know she would not want me feeling this way. So, does anyone have any tips for me?
2007-03-02 15:57:02 · 9 answers · asked by xxxButterflyxxx 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am so sorry for your loss. My mother has terminal brain cancer and has less than a month left and I take care of her now. We too have always been very close, talking couple times a day. Now she has a hard time recognizing me. I will tell you what other have told me.(Because I am worried I will feel the same way you have described) Maybe when you are feeling upset and missing your mom, you can write her a letter, go to her grave or a place that you two shared and talk to her. Or just set right there and talk to her. I believe she is there with you in spirit, in your heart and truly believe that she hears you. Maybe loOK through old photos, plant a tree or something in her name, might help you deal with it. Or if you have any old home videos watching them might help as well.
I am not sure if any of this is helping or will help. This is the advice I got from family and friends, for when the time comes for my mom. I write her a letter everyday now, even though she will not see them. It helps me a little. I hope that you get through this ok and find a way to ease your heartache.
2007-03-02 16:17:09 · answer #1 · answered by AHHHHhhhhh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will not get over this loss... and you shouldn't. That is how important your love and relationship was with her. You feel her loss so deeply because you were great together. If it was easy to deal with this, it wouldn't have been that special.
Time doesn't heal everything. Time does, however, ease the pain. You will never get used to her being gone.
What you will have is knowing you are the person you are because of who she was and the influence she had on you. You treat everyone well because that is who SHE was. You will have wonderful memories of her... and you will miss her. What a gift she was for you and what a legacy she must have left behind in you. You will feel her every step of the way... every decision you make... you will think of things to talk to her about or have a question for her. You will find yourself becoming her. And THAT is wonderful...
2007-03-03 00:13:21 · answer #2 · answered by choose happiness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, give it time. I lost my Dad when I was 15, it was very hard, we was very close. I'm now 40 and there isn't a day that goes by where I don't think of him. But now its only the good memories that really come back to me. Its very hard but you will get past the grief. Maybe some day soon, you will see something that reminds you of your Mom, and it will bring a smile to your face and a warmth inside. If your grief continues longer than a month more, I would advise seeing your doctor. I hope you understand that life is worth living.
2007-03-03 00:06:43 · answer #3 · answered by Sirecoke 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take some time to yourself,it may sound odd but it could help,take the time alone and continue to talk to your mother while alone just pure your heart out as if she was sitting right beside you listing to you because she really is in your heart,I did this when I lost my father many years ago, he was my best friend we were side by side every day because I even worked with my father and when we was not working we spent time do other things,so still today I have a talk with dad because he is in my heart and I know he hears,we only lose somebody when we give up as long as they are in the heart and we have the memories we have them.
2007-03-03 00:11:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
losing someone you love is very hard. I find comfort believing that there is a heaven and my grandmother is there watching over me.
she really isn't gone. she is with you all the time. you carry her in your heart. as long as you do this she lives inside of you.
you are so lucky to have had such a wonderful relationship with your mother. No regrets. You loved and did everything for and with her. You are the best daughter any mother would be proud of. And your mother loved and appreciated you.
Your right she wouldn't want you to waste you life grieving. She would want you to laugh smile and live life to the fullest. Make her proud. Carry your mother, your best friends spirit with you everyday. She would carry you.
I'm going to pray for your peace. if you would like to talk im here. 906-586=3705
Ronda
2007-03-03 00:16:52 · answer #5 · answered by rondalaurell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I found it helpful to write my dad letters after he died as if he were going to read it (maybe he did). Like a journal but for your mom. ex..."Dear mom, I had a bad dad today and I wish you were here to talk to.(etc...)"
I have a website too that you might want to check out, www.memorybears.net We create special teddy bear memorials that help a lot of people through their grief.
I wish you luck! I know how you feel. Take strength in knowing that you may have lost your mom, but you have gained a guardian angel for life!
2007-03-03 00:26:17 · answer #6 · answered by Tina B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost my husband 2 years ago. The only thing that helped me was prayer. They also have books/web sites on grieving over a love one. It helped me a lot. You will always have her in your memory, and it will definately be a challege. You will feel better after time. Your mom wouldn't want you to be sad. She is in a better place far better than earth and she is not in pain and not suffering anymore. She is looking down on you. She wouldn't want you to be depressed.
2007-03-03 00:06:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my mom too 2 years ago when I was 25. It still feels every bit as fresh to me as it did the day it happened. You have to take it one day at a time and try to realize her pain is over now. Try to keep your mind occupied too.
2007-03-03 02:07:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isn't the best place to be seeking help. Your grief is a process that you must work through. Call a local hospice program and ask to speak with a bereavement counselor. Their services are free and I assure you that there will be a compassionate listener who will help you find the best way/s to face and live with your grief.
I wish you all the best in your difficult journey.
2007-03-03 00:04:48 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia C 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋