Why is so important for women to have children ?

Question

A close friend of mine has been hapily married for about 11 years. They could not have children because of some medical issues on his wife's side. He has accepted it gracefully. But his wife is devasted. She bursts into tears when she drives by children's playgrounds, elementary schools, etc. She does not want to adopt. She wants to a biological mother very badly.

Why do you think it is so important for women to have children of their own ?

Answer 1

Its a natural thing!
Women (some) are devastated that they cannot give birth naturally, or they cannot breastfeed. So if this woman cannot have children completely then that would have a huge affect.
I don't really have an exact answer as to why its important for women to have children 'of their own' but I can tell you that if I couldn't, I would feel like less of a woman, I would definitely be devastated and I would have a deep deep remorse and sorrow.
A baby is a beautiful thing for a woman. (most)
Send this woman my regards.....and best wishes for the future, I know I would be hopeless without my two daughters.

Answer 2

I think that it is ingrained in our DNA make up. It defines many women as to who they are. Women are the life givers or procreators of the planet, for many women it is the sole purpose of their life. She may be having other issues that she is dealing with too, like maybe she fears that her husband will hold this against her later and leave her. Or she may have put off having children to a time when she could afford them, now her plans have been altered. She may feel that it is partly her fault, that if she had children earlier, she may have been able to have them. I know quite a few women that feel that way, because they focused on work and career first and thought they could have children later, only to find that they had waited to long. It is sad. For the women that I know, they could not bring themselves around to adopting either. It was so important for them to be a biological parent, that they could not or would not consider adoption. It was either they had their own children or none at all. In all of the cases of the people that I know, the women were devistated, but the men did not really care. As long as they had their mates, they were happy. I hope that your friend is able to work through this. For my friends it took a good year. One of my friends she had several false pregnancies, she went thru everything fom swollen breast to abdominal swelling, but when the ultrasound was done their was no baby in the uterus. It was very sad, she went in to counseling over it. Once she finally worked thru the fact that she was not going to be a mother, she never had another false pregnancy.

Answer 3

Although I love my kids very much, I don't know why it is so important for some women, not very important to others. When you go from being single to a mom, your whole life changes, and all of a sudden, it's not about you anymore-it's all about your kids. I love my kids, but at times, I wish I could turn back the hands of time. Their father is a jackas* in the military, and I don't get child support. It is very hard to be a mom. It's all good when the baby can just sit there and be cute, but they cry all the time, wake you up at all hours of the night, cost more and more money every year, etc. THEN, they learn how to walk and talk and talk back, get into stuff, break things. I love my kids, though. In the end, they are worth it. They are little people, and they are cute, loving, energizing, and wonderful, It's like a love/dislike relationship. As they say, I would not take a million dollars for them, but I wouldn't give you a nickel for another one!!! Go fig.

Answer 4

When we were going through infertility issues I felt that I was "broken" because I couldn't have kiddos. I was mad at God, thought I was being punished, hated all pregnant women, cried myself to sleep, etc, etc, etc. Now I am a mother of a wonderful four year old whom we adopted at birth. I was there to hear his heartbeat within birthmother, cut the cord and was the first to hold him. My husband has two bio children and he does not love them anymore or less than our son.

A lot of women can bear children ... just take a look at our foster care system. It takes more than DNA to be a mother, so please don't discount adoption!

Answer 5

It is normal and natural to desire children. When a coulple cannot conceive, it can be devestating. Yes, people can become parents through adoption or fostering, but that doesn't mean it's wrong to mourn infertility. It's human.

So many ppl spend so long treating fertilitly like disease (using birth control and fearing pregnancy every cycle), that they are stunned to discover that not every person is fertile and fertility is a delicate thing. We need to appreciate our fertility and realize how fragile it can be.

Answer 6

I believe it is in our genetic make up to desire to give birth. I personally have 2 children - they are both grown (I am 44) and find myself crying at times because I am unable to have more children. For me having a child kept me young and gave me purpose (although I have always had a rewarding career and a very fulfilled life). I have thought about adopting though. Although the feeling of life being inside you is unbelievable - there is nothing like it.

Answer 7

It is just as important to men as it is to women to have biological children and as for your friend and his wife maybe they should consider a surrogate. His wife won't realize her "dream" of carrying her child, but they would be raising their own biological child.

Answer 8

I guess it's a girl thing. Just the thought of having a kid that I created inside my body is pretty cool. Kids are very important to some women becuase it's a responsibility I guess or maybe a hobby.
Definition of hobby: Anything you enjoy doing.
Raising children may be a hobby.

Answer 9

She's just going to have to adopt or learn to live with it. Some women have more trouble with this than others.

Answer 10

The only reason any human is on Earth is to procreate. I believe the urge to have a biological child is wired into women--it is what we are here to do! Now, I also believe that women who are unable to have children should grieve the loss and then find a way to cope. Maybe therapy would benefit the person you spoke of.