We have been together for seven good years with a two year old son, We call each other husband/wife though we will probably never get married....anyway When we met he was very active in mountain biking, hiking, running ... ect.
He was a very toned and in shape 5'9" at 160lbs
He is now an out of shape 185lbs and is not as "energetic" in bed anymore. He started an Internet business two years ago and has been sitting in front of that computer ever since smoking cigarettes and eating junk food. I am not the athletic type just naturally skinny. Between me and his business I think he just gave up taking care of himself. How can I help motivate him to get active again? I feel like if he doesn't get back into his athletic groove now he never will. I love him very much and just want him to feel good about himself again. He is still a very attractive and sexy man, just not like he used to be. I miss the amazing sex and his amazing body ... what should I do?
2007-03-02 14:46:43 · 11 answers · asked by G-Killer 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Please do not just say sit down and talk to him because I have, and I just get excuses.
2007-03-02 14:47:37 · update #1
Lot's of good advice so far :-)
Doing something to make him jealous just doesn't work. There is flat out, just to much trust between us.
2007-03-02 15:20:41 · update #2
Sweetheart, what can I say? My husband does the same thing to me. I have not found the solution. That is what happened when we married a computer guy.
2007-03-02 14:53:23 · answer #1 · answered by bbluckylove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for one thing it's amazing that I am in a 7 year relationship with this guy and we call each other husband and wife too. We don't have any kids. I also feel like I won't never marry him either,but anyway. My "husband" has gain some weight too. I talk to him about it, he was like "I need to lose some weight babe" I told yeah. He started a diet but I never seen the diet again. What you are going to have to do is, work out with him. Tell him that Yall will lose weight together, even tho you don't have to lose weight. That will help motivate him. Also say to him, baby you look good but if you just do a couple of sit-ups and go running with me you will look sexy, plus you will be healthy,I love you and I don't want to lose you. That should work. Just don't be so harsh, then you will have more problems trust me. good luck
2007-03-02 22:57:39 · answer #2 · answered by sweetmocha07031984 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave..
period..
you have enabled him to be this way
because you settled for what he is now
he saw this and adjusted himself
i can guarantee you if you left him
he would get in shape real fast
to attract another slim pretty girl
women do the very same thing
once complacent in a relationship they get fat and lazy
either that or accept him for what he is
there has got be something you are not telling on your part
are you a nag? do you pester him?
why don't you get active
maybe he see your always going out and realize you probably seeing hunky guys ( as "friends" ) , nothing like a little fire to get him motivated
his business need not be the impetus that keeps your time with him limited
many women dump a guy who is net addicted
they feel the value of the relationship is far worth any business venture in the net ( or just gaming or what ever ) that a man may partake
life's too short to be indoors chained to a keyboard
he will only get worse and fatter and smoking should have been a deal breaker
you can't be really athletic and be a smoker
2007-03-02 22:55:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Since his business is at home, maybe you should try getting some exercise equipment and encourage him to work out with you in between being on the computer.And then maybe after awhile he will start doing it on his own.Or you could start making comments on how he stayed in shape before,and it would be nice if he worked out with you sometime.Other than that ,now that he's become lazy and work home bound it's pretty hard short of insulting him to get him up.Good luck
2007-03-02 22:57:13 · answer #4 · answered by glorene b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do understand. You can't change him. He has to want to change. Maybe you help with business, maybe he will have more time. But you can alway give your support, encouragement and ideas to try new thing. Start small....Maybe go on a trip where he has to walk like LAS VEGAS or anywhere. Try new sport bowling, and anything. Get him out of the house. Go for a walk. Call his old buddy. See what they are doing. He can walk the dog.
2007-03-02 23:00:28 · answer #5 · answered by white rose 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Join a gym and take him with. Buy only healthy food, and find a movie that will really hit home with him about being healthy and fit and staying alive for your child. Start complementing him(reverse psychology), on losing weight or looking good, he must be doing something. Honestly this is a tough on.
2007-03-02 22:52:54 · answer #6 · answered by Haveitlookedat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you could try making it a joint activity for the two fo you, like a project. Go running together, or to the gym together, that way he doesn't feel like your just forcing it on him, he can see it as self improvement for the both of you.
2007-03-02 22:51:57 · answer #7 · answered by texas hearts 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set up a weekend and take him camping. you guys can hike, go bike riding or whatever. it may help him want to actually start exercising if you try to make it fun.
2007-03-02 22:52:20 · answer #8 · answered by Candi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is really manipulative but I'd join a gym, go without him, and tell him you're getting hit on all the time.
2007-03-02 23:12:14 · answer #9 · answered by Your Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Express all your feelings to him and tell him that you love him and tell him to start jogging in the morning.or threaten him.not in a bad way.in a way that he starts to became active.something that will want to do it for your sake.
Good Luck!
2007-03-02 22:55:11 · answer #10 · answered by kiran 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋