I feel bad i backed out of going th bacholerette party due to money, and didnt realize how costly the wedding would be. Im not in the wedding im a guest, its a friends wedding, we used to be good friend but now i only see or talk to her every couple of months. My husband and i are in the process of purchasing our first home as well as starting a family and its a lot of money for us right now. Am i being cheap or is this realy a lot to spend to attend a wedding?
2007-03-02 14:39:06 · 34 answers · asked by Kini 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It's so costly because even though they live near me they decided to have the wedding in another state, so its hrs away. With driving to save $ the gas would be over $150 and about 1000miles, and we would have to stay overnight because its an evning wedding (not starting till 7pm, and we would be far to tiered to drive there go to the wedding and drive home.
2007-03-02 15:39:46 · update #1
Then theres a bit of $ for food, tolls, parking and the chepest room we could find in a very expensive area. and atop of all the costs my husband and i will have to miss work becaues the wedding is on a Sunday.
2007-03-02 15:56:10 · update #2
It's OK. When you are buying a house and starting a family, it's a very expensive time. Call her and tell her how much you would love to be there, but you simply don't have the money right now. You don't have to go into details. Wish her the very best and tell her that if anything changes in your financial situation, you will let her know.
As she is having having her wedding out of state and on a Sunday, I'm sure that several guests have had to decline for the same reasons. Tell her that you would love to get together with her for brunch when she returns so that you can see all the photos and she can tell you all about it. Good luck and don't feel bad.
2007-03-02 18:56:49 · answer #1 · answered by stseukn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that it is a financial burden, then send back the card and say will not attend. But i would buy a lovely wedding card and write a check for $75 and send it to them. Due to the fact that you are not attending, this is like found money to them. You are not being cheap, as you said you are in a financial bind right now. So, no I would not go to the wedding.
2007-03-03 15:03:24 · answer #2 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not cheap. If you cant afford it then you shouldnt go. I had a similar situation where a friend of mine that i used to be best friends with and now we rarely talk, wanted me to be in her wedding party. And i dropped out as a bridesmaid cause the dress was gonna cost me 250+ dollars and I couldnt afford that and she didn't let any of the bridesmaids pick the dress or try to find something more affordable for me. So i went as a guest only. And now I will not offer for her to be a bridesmaid in my wedding. She should have asked me to be the maid of honor which annoyed me that I was just gonna be a bridesmaid and then when the dress was so expensive i was like "that's it. i dont care. i will just go as a guest"
If you arent even in the wedding party and you cant afford to travel that far dont go. Tell them that you cant afford to travel that far and you would have loved to go if it was closer. Just send a gift card or a small gift for their wedding because you were invited.
2007-03-03 03:17:49 · answer #3 · answered by Educated 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I probably would not spend that for a friend's wedding, esp. if I'm not in the wedding. You were not clear as to why it would cost you that much to attend the wedding. I'm assuming that it's probably a destination wedding, right? If so, it shouldn't be hard for you to decline the invitation. If you feel really bad for not attending the wedding, just get her a nice note and wedding gift! Good luck! (Even if you can't attend the wedding, you can still provide unconditional moral support for her. For a bride-to-be, that is priceless!)
2007-03-02 15:04:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If money is tight now I'm sure your friend will understand if you can't attend. When I got married I lived in a different state than many of my close friends. I didn't expect them to pay for a plane ticket to come to my wedding. Wedding days are so hectic that rarely does the bride get to spend any large amount of time with anyone (except the groom, ofcourse). I actually told many of my friends that if they could only afford to come see me once I would prefer they save their money and come visit some time when I had more time to enjoy their company.
2007-03-02 14:52:35 · answer #5 · answered by Shanda 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
$550 is a lot of money. I'd probably go only if the guy is a really good friend and one with whom i talk often.
Its not necessarily an insult to not attend a wedding. You can state your difficulty and apologise. Or you could send your wishes through mail or something like that. There are many options.. Dont feel bad. Its something everyone of us goes through at some point of time.
2007-03-02 14:44:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think that your friend will understand that you are trying to save for your first home and you just arent in a good financial situation to spend that kind of money on someones wedding you only talk to every couple of months.I dont think your being cheap and if your friend doesnt understand than thats not very appreciative.She should appreciate your attending anyway.
2007-03-02 14:44:23 · answer #7 · answered by Makenna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say it's a lot yes... but it depends on how close of a friend they are too. It would have to be a really close friend for me to dough out money like that just for a wedding. Then again to someone else it may not be that much, but I'm a working person so I put in a lot of hours for money like that.
2007-03-02 14:42:39 · answer #8 · answered by KitKat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your friend and you still communicate, shouldn't be hard to explain your situation. Send her a small gift and a card signed by you and your husband. Leave a message on her phone, if you don't want to write the explanation on the card itself.
Trust me, as the bride itself, she has her own share dealing with wedding budget so no doubt she will understand your explanation and you are only a guest anyway.
2007-03-02 14:46:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Save the money you would have spent attending the wedding and use a part of it for sending her a nicer gift then you would be able to give otherwise. And maybe instead of or in addition to a card hand write her a nice letter wishing her luck and blessings. Show her you care and would love to be there if it weren't for your lack of funds that you can't help.
2007-03-02 14:44:20 · answer #10 · answered by Katie A 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋