My son is 4 as of nov. he has went through over a dozon day cares allready, he was realy good at one for about three months, he breaks things bites things scratches people, throws chairs, and this all happens because he doesnt want to take a nap. He calls names all to say the least of it all, He doesnt do any of this with me, no where close. I have tried everything and I cant even work because his teachers call me. I dont know what to do.
2007-03-02 14:38:04 · 23 answers · asked by ciara s 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
It sounds to me like you have one unhappy little man. Anyway you can stay home with him? That's what it sounds like he's craving. If not, is there a relative who could watch him? Sounds like maybe he just dislikes the daycare setting. Poor little guy!
2007-03-02 14:41:06 · answer #1 · answered by semper411 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It definately sounds like it is a nap problem. I would seriously look into a preschool or daycare that gives the kids the option of a nap. There are preschools out there that do that. If you don't think you can change your current daycare provider ask them if you can have a compromise to quiet time. Ask them if he can read books during the first 15-30 minutes while the others are falling asleep then when they are asleep maybe he could color or do some other quiet activity.
My daughter is 3 1/2 and doesn't nap anymore.
I am sure your son is also extremely bright and has figured out that behaving this way gets him home with you. If you think about it he is actually getting rewarded for his behavior. Perhaps he could look at reading books and coloring as a reward for being quiet so that his friends can take a nap.
2007-03-02 15:03:05 · answer #2 · answered by Angela T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I used to be a school teacher, and I know how the teachers feel, and I am a mother of three, and I know how you feel. I would suggested first asking your child what it is he don't like about nap time. See if might have something that scares him. I also would recommend that he take a favorite bear, pillow, blanket to help comfort him. You could also ask the teachers if may be tell him if he lays quietly until the other children fall asleep he cpold look at some books quietly. It is a tough for children to feel comfortable enough to just relax. Also have your child get up an hour to half an hour earlier in the morning, so he can get sleepy for nap time. My daughter never napped, and I started having her go to bed by 9 and getting up by 6:00am. She started napping. Good luck.
tina
2007-03-02 14:46:43 · answer #3 · answered by tnt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's four and he's getting too old for a nap. There's your key. The day care wants every child down so they can have a break and they aren't thinking about what this child needs. You need to talk to the caregiver and tell them that if he doesn't want to nap it isn't worth the power struggle. Keep him up and occupied with meaningful activities. Then, at night, put him to bed at a normal time with a normal bedtime routine, and believe me he'll be ready. The adults in this boy's life need to tune into what he's trying to tell them!
Have a talk with him about appropriate ways to handle his anger, using language first, self management skills second. It will take some effort on your part, but it will be worth it in the end.
2007-03-02 14:46:53 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course I haven't met your son, but it sounds as if he may need some counseling/therapy. But that's putting the cart before the horse. I think the other poster's of going to daycare with him and trying to figure out why he's unhappy while showing him that it's a safe, fun place to be is a great idea. If that doesn't work, you might try a child psychologist. There's nothing wrong with doing that; it doesn't imply that there's something "wrong" with your son or your parenting. It just means that you are seeking help for a problem you can't solve alone.
I wish you and your son the best of luck. Aloha :)
2007-03-02 14:46:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is really hard because going through more than one day care is a serious cause of sociopathy - this means lack of conscience. Multiple switchings of day care is like a guarantee to make your chid a criminal. You have gravely damaged your son. You have gravely harmed society by foisting such a damaged child on us.
Did you really not know that children are harmed by separating from mommy? Did you really not know that changing providers is severely damaging?
Children are supposed to develop trust by being around one person - MOMMY - for a few years. You have destroyed his ability to trust. You have a very very very serious problem on your hand.
You're not kidding you can't work - you need to stop immediately and see if you can't salvage this. You have created a monster through selfishness or through ignorance and it is long past time for you to do something about this. The odds are strongly strongly strongly against you being able to help him.
But you have to try anyway.
2007-03-03 17:18:29 · answer #6 · answered by cassandra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to work in mental health and I worked with preschoolers and their families: see if there is a therapeutic preschool in your area. If you have insurance, it should cover all if not most of the costs; if you do not, you may be eligible for a number of programs that will cover the costs.
He is hurting others and that is never okay. You need to take this very seriously. Early intervention programs (like therapeutic preschools) are well known for their effectiveness.
FYI: I once worked with a child who had been kicked out of 5 preschools before his mother found our school. We made her the promise that we would work with him and not kick him so long as she got him to school on time and showed to the therapy appointments: she did, and the child was able to transition to kindergarten successfully :-)
All the best to you.
2007-03-02 14:50:59 · answer #7 · answered by j14456um 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4 is too old for this behavior. He may need a behavioral evaluation.
How about a couple of months to ease him into it - slowly increasing the time he spends there. I know that is next to impossible for a working mom, but if you are getting called out anyway . . .
At home, do lots of talking about behavior.
If nothing works, it may either be a problem with your parenting or your child (sorry).
2007-03-02 14:44:56 · answer #8 · answered by Raina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it is not possible to keep him home for a while you could try putting him on a "sticker" system. i have seen this done before with one little boy and it seemed to work really well. everyday he takes his nap and goes through the day with out getting into any trouble, give him one sticker in his sticker book and when he gets a certain number, reward him with a trip to a movie or to the zoo or with some other kind of special treat. its not a great way to raise your child but if nothing seems to be working, its worth a try
2007-03-02 14:46:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
if it is all becuse of nap time let him run around untill he gets tired he is bound to take a nap eventually keep him very occupied and just make sure the nannies keep a close eye on him don't harsh punish him but set limits a spanking here in there never killed anyone. good-luck hope this little advice could help
2007-03-02 14:43:50 · answer #10 · answered by Ernesto g 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋