Here, I'll start:
1. People don't shove sporks into the minds of innocent children.
2. Refusing to believe in the existence of a spork has never prohibited someone from holding public office
3. A spork will never condemn you to everlasting torture for not believing in it, refusing to worship it or for believing there are more than one
4. No spork has ever been known to kill all the first born sons of any city
5. Sporks exist
6. A spork doesn't inspire mothers to kill their children or psychpaths to call for the execution of all spork infidels or different spork sects to clash over which one worships the TRUE spork
7. A spork is cool looking and fun to play with
8. You don't have to tithe to a congregation of spork worshipers
9. A spork can help feed you or scratch your back
10. Refusing to recognize the divinity of a spork has never caused anyone to be branded as immoral and evil by their fellow man
2007-03-02 14:20:56 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
11. Sporks support the theory of evolution (think about it for a sec…)
12. Nobody fears the anti-spork
2007-03-02 14:21:08 · update #1
No one will burn you, torment you, or yell at you for casting aside a spork (in an appropriate waste receptacle).
2007-03-02 14:29:43 · answer #1 · answered by Huggles-the-wise 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I didn't know a spork was alive. Do you (anybody) pray to a spork? When on your death bed, pray to a spork. You only write part of the story about the death of children & people in a city, etc. It might be a good idea to read the whole story before expressing an opinion.Did a spork die to secure your salvation? The story of Christ doing so is recorded not only in the Bible but in eastern history as well. The church of the almighty spork...WOW Why not open a store selling jewlery with little sporks on it. Spork on chains/necklace, spork earings, spork on headstones...hey, have at it. PS I hope they don't want to take sporks out of public didplays.
2007-03-02 22:36:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
OK, I'll have a go at this one. Let's see how it feels back at you: "Why is a spork better than atheism?"
1. Atheists shove their dogma into the minds of innocent children, sporks don't.
2. Believing in the existence of God has caused many to be denied the opportunity to hold public office, but believing in the existence of spork has not.
3. Atheists will condemn even the most peaceful of Christians for not believing in atheism and accuse Christians of the most ridiculous things, but sporks won't.
4. Got us here: God punishes those who blatently reject Him. He did it in the Old Testament, and He'll do it again in the future. Sporks have no free will, so they are incapable of carrying out a just punishment.
5. Atheism is false, sporks are not.
6. Atheism rejects the value of life by approving of abortions by the tens of thousands of innocent human beings, but sporks have not yet been known to approve of a single death of an innocent person.
7. Got us here again: Atheists look cool on the outside and are cool to play with for a while just like sporks.
8. Atheists donate money to their own organizations, who turn around and pollut the minds of others, sporks don't.
9. Theists' love for God and His creation causes theists to help millions of underfed, underdressed, underpriviledged people recover from their circumstances, but sporks don't.
10. Atheists brand theists as immoral and evil, but sporks don't do this.
My point is that most of these accusations go two ways, but the difference is that there is no eternal negative consequence for theists just because they don't see the facts the same way the atheists do.
2007-03-02 22:39:20 · answer #3 · answered by chdoctor 5 · 1⤊ 5⤋
Is a "Spork" anything like a "Splayed"? And if so what are the philosophical ramifications of this pronouncement?
Should society demand the immediate distruction of all plastic cutlery in the name of World Peace?
2007-03-02 22:28:08 · answer #4 · answered by Ashleigh 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Woo hoo!... nice. This is fun...
There is no need to fulfill spork prophecy...
Sporks do not need to be nailed to a cross to make a point....
2007-03-02 22:25:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sporks have no ability to save you from this perverse generation. Jesus, on the other hand, has ALL ability to judge you. "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap" (Galatians 6:7).
In other words, Proverbs 1:26--yes, God will mock you right back. So, by the rule of He who laughs last, laughs best, guess who will be last . . ..
2007-03-02 22:27:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
A spork can save you....from eating with your hands! ;)
2007-03-02 22:35:45 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Aww, ZERO, you spoiled the fun. All you had to do was wait, we would've come up with those answers and more -- you don't hafta do ALL the work, dude!
2007-03-02 22:26:24 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
ok so when you're feeling sick or are going through some sh1t y dont you pray 2 a spork to save ur ***.
2007-03-02 22:33:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
GLORY to the SPORK---AMEN & AMEN!!!
2007-03-02 23:03:56 · answer #10 · answered by huffyb 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋