How do you cope with a two year old's tantrums?

Question

My daughter is close to being two and like any other child she has her good days and she has her bad days, but when their bad, their BAD and it just seems like I'm strung out lately....so I guess the major question is other than just walking away, what are some other things i can do to be able to deal with this without losing my last bit of sanity, lol.

Answer 1

Pick her up gently and place her in her room (in her crib if she still has one) and close the door. Temper tantrums are a way to get you to give in to their wants. I use to sit and have a cup of tea and just watch my two year old. He quit after awhile.

Answer 2

I have dealt with this for a year now. Over a year now. The best advice I can give is to make sure the child is safe then walk away. I have had to put mine in the crib numerous times. and step outside for a second or 2.


And those who say you can't punish a 2 year old it can be done. When Mine is throwing a tantrum. I put her on the bottom step and tell her when she is done and ready to say she is sorry she can get up. But the longer she screams the longer she sits. She learnt real fast that I am not joking. When I say something I mean it. Now that she is almost 3 she knows and puts herself in time out when she does something wrong. Just last week she pinched her best friend I was downstairs (fixing lunch) and the 2 girls were upstairs playing house. I heard crying. walked from the kitchen to the steps and mine was on the step. i asked her "what did you do" she goes I pinched addison. She then says I sit for 2 minutes. when the timer went off she went and said sorry and hugged her friend.


I have found that mine usually has a fit when she is either (A) hungry or (B) Over tired.

Answer 3

Well, our son started throwing temper tantrums and they ended really quick with the following method. Once again, his educator gave me this idea and it really worked. Once he would start, he would usually beg for his father if he was home and it was really hard for my husband to not pick him up and so I would be the strong one and order my husband out of the the room our son was in. Next I would tell our son in a very calm voice, I'm giving you your space, when you are done, come see Mommy or Daddy in the kitchen and I would leave the room. He would cry and cry and cry and stomp his feet all the while calling for Daddy and slowly approaching the kitchen. The first time lasted 45 mins, I was alone that day and the next time was 30 mins, then 20, 15 and last but not least 5 mins. He had about 5 or 6 tantrums over a period of a month and then that was that, no more since. It's now been around 2 months since his last tantrum. I'm not saying he will never have one again because I'm sure he will but he learned quickly that it did not work with us. We didn't put him in his room and ignore him, we didn't stick him in his crib nor did we yell at him, we just learned to tell him that we love him and that we are giving him his space and just wait for him to come to us. The crying was hard on us but we knew that it was not hurting him. When he came to us and was very affectionate, we would tell him that everything was ok and that the crying was not needed. We gave him space but stayed within range to know that he was alright. I really hope that this helps you and keep in mind, it'll pass soon if you are patient enough.

Answer 4

Your daughters tantrums may be a sign she's frustrated. At this age, toddlers are intellegent enough to know what they want but their verbal skills are not developed enough to express it. Many people have success with sign language. Buy a book and teach your daughter a few simple signs (yes, no, up, down, all done, more...etc). This might end her frustration and in turn, end the tantrums.

If your daughter communicates well and your sure her tantrums are just bad behavior, be sure not to encourage her with a big response. When my son would have a tantrum, I'd tell him in a calm voice "go sit ith the time out chair and let me know when you're all done crying" Then I'd pick up a book and start reading it as if I couldn't hear him. Within a few minutes, he'd walk over to me and say "I'm all done crying mama". I hope one of these methods works for you. Good luck!

Answer 5

I love this Supernanny site because it is so realistic and doable:
Tantrums:

For a minor episode...
Try ignoring, by walking into another room or just carrying on with your own tasks Use calming techniques to lower your own stress levels – deep breathing, relaxing your muscles, positive talk inside your head: ‘I will keep calm’. If ignoring hasn’t worked, some children can be jollied along out of an episode. Say something like, ‘Time to stop now – I’ll count to 10’, then give plenty of praise and cuddles if the tantrum stops. In the supermarket, it is sometimes best to just pick up your child and go outside to cut down your embarrassment.

For a really major tantrum, different tactics are needed...
Speak calmly, saying things like ‘I’m here, I won’t let you hurt yourself’. Hold your child tightly, preferably making eye contact. Sometimes you just have to weather the storm till your child calms down. ‘Time out’ can help if you find it impossible to stay calm. Time out involves putting your child somewhere safe but boring (for example a playpen, pushchair or the bottom step) for a couple of minutes. It should never be forced in anger and is not really understood by under 3’s. It may work best for parents to take it themselves! Top Tips for Cutting Down Tantrums
Aim for some happy, relaxed times every day – reading a story, visiting the park, playing a game. Show a good example by remaining calm when times are stressful. This encourages your toddler to do the same. Cut down negatives – constantly saying ‘No’ will add to a toddler’s frustration. Instead, use phrases like ‘later’, or ‘after lunch’. Keep aware of new stresses (potty training, starting nursery) that may need more sympathy. Respect your child’s feelings. Feeling understood will reduce your child’s need for tantrums. Try saying, ‘I know that makes you mad’ or ‘That must have made you feel sad’. Your child will see that their feelings matter and can gradually learn to put them into words, saying “I’m angry” instead of acting it out. Use positive parenting – plenty of praise and attention for behaviour you do want, trying to ignore as much as possible behaviour you don’t. Avoid harsh discipline – shouting and punishments only make tantrums worse. Use humour to defuse tricky situations – silly songs, laughter, making a game of tidying toys can all work brilliantly! A hug or a tickle at the right moment can also change a child’s mood. Most children do grow out of the need for tantrums when they have more language and understanding. But the way you deal with them in the toddler years is important. If they are handled harshly, with responses like yelling and smacking, or if you constantly ignore their feelings and need for comfort, they may well become worse and carry on for longer. Good luck, I hope this helps.

Answer 6

When my daughter was at that stage and she threw temper tantrum I would mimic her and eventually she quit. We would be in the middle of a store and she would have a temper tantrum I would do the exact same thing she just did and people would stare and that would embarrass her therefore she stopped.

Answer 7

thats the best thing you can do is make sure she cant hurt herself and then just walk away. ive also heard of two other methods working, which are one show her ho rediculous she looks in the mirror while she is flipping out, that may backfire though, but it also might work. the other one is too just scream louder and when she doesnt like it tell her youll stop when she stops. youll have to do it a few times though. good luck.

Answer 8

When my 3 year old started having fits...I would tell her I don't want to see it and send her to her room....it would end quickly. Or I showed her a corner and if she wanted to act that way I would have her stand in it. I would have her count to 10 or something else to get her mind off of crying. After I would have a talk with her about what happened.

Answer 9

At that age it's rather hard to discipline her at this point. Honestly walking away is the best. Make sure she's dry, safe, and not hungry and just take 5 minutes to yourself and read the mail or water your yard.

When she turns three then it's time to bring it :)

Answer 10

whatever you do, DON'T give into the temper tantrums. that's how they get what they want. if you give into it every time, they learn that and eventually they will throw a tantrum every time they want something. they have to learn that the tantrums won't work.

Dr. Phil usually suggests a time out of some sort. maybe it's sending them to their room or a corner. my dad always sent me to the corner and it worked.