My BF always says that I'm going to break up with him or he's going to try to get me to break up with him but when I ask him if he wants me to break up with him he says no. He also says I don't really love him... but I do... I really do. Does he just do it to see what I do?? But I don't know how to react or what to say. How can I tell him that none of the things he says are true???
2007-03-02 13:54:21 · 20 answers · asked by Callie Girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You told us what you wanted to say to your BF. Just tell him what you told us - none of the things are true. When he tells you he is going to get you to break up with him or that you are going to break up with him, what he is saying is that he is very afraid that the relationship won't last. My guess is he is afraid that you might leave him. My guess is that his background was he comes from a family where divorce occurred leading onto further spaces within the family (members not knowing one another, etc.) If you really care about your BF, keep reassuring him that you will always be with him. I'm going through the same thing myself. I am very thankful to hear that I am being watched over and am loved by dear people I have come to know.
2007-03-02 14:08:33 · answer #1 · answered by rubyred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is preparing for what he thinks will happen. He is expecting to be let down and hurt. He has already imagined what it would be like to not have you in his life. There is something there in his past that is making him think this way. If you can talk about that (almost impossible since guys don't open very easily) then he will probably let go of that idea. This is something he should work with a fiance and a couselor though. Trying to work on this if you guys are in high school or below could end up doing more harm to him than good.
2007-03-02 22:02:00 · answer #2 · answered by velmicro 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is most likely cheating on you. If he hasnt already, then he will soon. You need to make it clear to him that you love him a lot. And if you dont then you will find yourself cheating on him. Trust me, i use to have a bf that did that to me. And i never really put an effort in to telling him that i love him. Make sure you tell him that you are in-love with him, if you are anyways. Make sure you tell him how much you love him. And give him reasons of why you love him. Good luck. This information has helped me. So now i hope it helps you.
2007-03-02 22:07:42 · answer #3 · answered by babygurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ah...the question is.....why are you still his girlfriend?? What about all of this is attractive to you? He sounds very immature and likes the drama of threats that drive him to say these things.
He throws out the break up thing to reinforce his insecurity & he gets pay off by your reaction. He is a crazy cycle you two will perpetuate this until get wise enough to choose a mature guy.
I think you eventually need to say.....I need to break up because I am tired of your ups and downs in th is relationship.
Then you move on to a more mature guy.
2007-03-02 22:03:46 · answer #4 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may be doing it to see what you do, or he may just be playing games and guilting you so that you will be extra sweet and console him. Tell him that when he says those things, they hurt you, and unless he really means them, he shouldn't say them because they really bother you. Tell him that you don't want to play games in the relationship and that he needs to stop being insecure about how you feel about him.
To be honest, I've heard the exact same story from one of my guy friends. His purpose in telling his GF that he wanted to break up all the time, or his attempt to try to get her to break up with him, etc. etc. was for the purpose of putting the thoughts into her head so that she would break up with him. He wanted to break up, but was having trouble doing it because he was comfortable in the relationship and didn't want to feel guilty for being the person to break up the relationship. He would also say that he didn't want her to break up with him when she asked...and that was because he thought it was too harsh and still thought he'd be the guilty one...so he just waited and waited until it happened...took about a year.
2007-03-02 22:05:16 · answer #5 · answered by Bored with Questions 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i used to say that stuff to my ex gf too. we were seniors in high school. i said those things to her because i couldn't trust her. she flirted all the time no matter how much i asked her to stop. she would always pay attention to other guys in a group instead of me and i just didnt feel anything. you might be doing things like flirting too much that is making him question your commitment to him. there is a flip side though. if you KNOW you are not doing anything like that ( and be honest with yourself) and he is asking you these things then he is just starved for attention amd enjoys hearing you pretty much beg for him to understand your feelings. if thats the case then wait for him to ask you something like that next time and just be straight forward "listen i love you and you love me, i have never and never will cheat on you unless you cheat on me first, i wont leave you as long as you love me and are devoted and if you keep this crap up then yes i am going to leave you" and let him know that its the last time you are going through that with him or else. but make sure that its not your fault because if you find out that it really is, you are going to pretty much shoot yourself in the foot. Good luck.
2007-03-02 22:01:28 · answer #6 · answered by U.S MARINE GREG 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is insecure or immature. That is what we call a head game. Tell him that you are no longer willing to argue with him over something that stupid when he knows you love him and aren't breaking up with him. Then if it doesn't stop you should find someone that appreciates you and doesn't think you are lying.
2007-03-02 21:59:04 · answer #7 · answered by chunkysmom3502 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear Callie;
Men are more sensitive than we let on. A man can have a hormonal Imbalance just like a Woman can. This causes mood swings & so on. It's Normal.
2007-03-02 22:01:45 · answer #8 · answered by brewer_niels 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop trying to convince him otherwise. This is some sort of sick powergame he plays with you, whereby he can act like a complete moron and in the end say: "See, I told you you wouldn't stay with me". Next time he says that, your response should be: "You know, you keep saying that, I might actually begin to agree with you."
2007-03-02 22:01:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes he says u dont love him .. just to hear you say.. yes I do... maybe he want to hear it at that time.. without saying it to you first..he seems insecure... its his way of getting ur attention... just tell him how much u love him and you never want to leave him on a daily basis.lol. or play his bluff.lol.. and say well ur right... and see what he will say...he might be very surprised.lol..and not tell u anymore..lol
2007-03-02 22:35:43 · answer #10 · answered by gina B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋