Boy Who Likes Me But I Don't Like Him Back?

Question

There's this kid who likes me but I dont like him. Sometimes he says creepy stuff but I think he's trying to be sweet. I want him to stop liking me. He follows me and like waits for me after classes and always calls me. If I don't pick up he calls like 5 more times. What should I do? My friend thinks I should go out with him but I really don't want to.

Answer 1

This can be a tough one -- if, as some suggest here, you are immediately direct about it to try to make a point, or say something that he feels is rude to him, then not only do you break the boy's heart, and maybe even really embarrass him, but you've got to live with being known as a girl with a mean streak.

On the other hand, if he doesn't get the message that you're not interested, then your life remains filled with some possibly creepy kind of guy following you around everywhere and lighting up your phone every two minutes.

My advice -- first, be true to yourself, not your friends. You know you don't like him, and that's all that you need to know to make the decision not to go out with him. Trust your instincts, and trust yourself. Your feelings should always come first, and, if you remember that rule in dating, you will never fall into the trap that some girls fall into of being with a guy that they don't like, or, worse, being with someone who is a jerk, or even abusive, but not having the confidence and strength to get away from the guy.

Second, try kindness first. Remember, he's another human being, and, if he has feelings for you, then it's going to hurt when you reject him, so, try it gently the first time.

If you want to minimize embarrassment, you could even drop him an email or a text message that says something like, "Hey, thanks for your interest in me, but I want to be honest with you and let you know I don't have feelings for you. If you even just want to be friends, I really need for you to stop following me, stop waiting for me, and to please stop calling me. If you won't respect me by doing those things, then I feel we really can't even know each other."

Or, you can just talk to him privately and say the same thing, or some version of it that feels comfortable for you. The idea is to let him down gently, and remind him that, if he even wants to have any hope of even talking with you, he needs to cut out the creepy "stalker" kind of behavior.

It's one thing for him to have a crush on you, but it sounds like he is already stepping over the line a little bit, which is one more reason you really don't want to go out with him.

At this point, as others have said, if you're too nice about it, he may not get the idea there is nothing there in your heart for him, but, if you went out with him, even once, he'd probably never believe that you don't like him because, after all, you went out with him, right? So, for sure, don't date him, not just because it's best to be true to you, but also because it will make it much more difficult to get him out of your life.

Hopefully, he'll take the kind hint. If he doesn't though, don't be shy about standing up for your rights, and letting him know you won't tolerate weirdo behavior from him. So, be kind but firm, and, if that doesn't fly, then be more firm and not so kind, as in, "Look, I was nice about it the first time, but at this point you need to leave me alone."

If he's still around, and still bothering you, then consider what other steps you need to take to make sure you are not bothered. If he really doesn't get it by then, it's considered stalking, and, thankfully, there are laws against that kind of thing.

So, as the song goes, listen to your heart, but, in this case, it's time to tell him goodbye -- it's best for you, and, in the long run, it's best for him too, so he can stop following you around and move his interests on to someone else.

You'll do great. As I say, you already have your answer, in your own feelings. Just act on it, and you'll be fine.

Answer 2

First of all thats not a good thing if he keeps calling you like that. Second you should not do what your friends say.third what do you feel you should do? And last if you do give him a chance I would test him to make sure he is not weird and see if he gives any signal that he could end up hurting you in anyway.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

Don't go out with him. The best way to let someone down like that is to tell him to his face. And don't try to be nice, because he will focus on how nice you were, and he will think that you actually do like him.

It's hard, but you have to be tough.

Answer 5

if u dont wanna go out with him dont because if u go out with him heis gonna think u want something wit him so his gonna bother u more. i think u should tell him that right now u dont want anything with no one and that u like him but just as friends

Answer 6

Would his name happen to be jason and he wears a Halloween mask? Just ignore the guy in time he'll move on

Answer 7

If you dont like him, then dont. You're not obliged to do so. Like or love should not be forced. Just tell him to please stop doing so and you like him just as a friend, nothing more. Good luck!

Answer 8

If you dont like him be nice and tell him this: Hey I dont want to be mean or anything but i am not interested in you so please stop following me arround it is getting annoying. and please stop calling me.
GOODLUCK and i hope you find the Mr.Right. LOL

Answer 9

Don't worry. Confront him and say your true feelings but also, say that you can be friends. Just be friends and NO MORE than that. I think he will understand.

Answer 10

just tell him that you aren't interested in him and stop calling you every night