My soon to be 4 year old daughter has been behaving extremely terrible for almost a year and I can't get it to stop. The family members call her the spawn of satan. She is like a wild child running and screaming. She won't listen to me ever. Even though she knows how she won't dress herself. I had her pottie trained, except for #2, and 3 weeks later she won't stop going in her pull up all the time. She goes to headstart and is terrible there as well. She runs from the teacher, won't come to the groups hardly ever. She constantly ignores just about everyone. She has tried to get on the bus and went to get into the driver seat behind the driver and bus aide's back. I don't know how to get her under control, to get her to settle down. The only thing that keeps her in one spot for longer than 15 minutes is tv, I've tried taking it away and it didn't work.I have 2 other children that are 7 and 5, I never had this problem with them. How can I get her under control?
2007-03-02 13:12:10 · 6 answers · asked by nicole_dams 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I believe in spanking my children after i've exhausted everything else and spanking didn't help either. I also count to 3 and she knows when I get to 3 she's in trouble.
2007-03-02 13:29:50 · update #1
I feel your pain! My sister calls my daughter Witchy Women! I have got a rewards system going. Its working GREAT! Get a strip of thick paper or cardboard,color it all pretty.Buy some velcro strips.cut the velcro into little pices,about 5.Glue them to the paper and glue the other side to some plastic money or pretend gold peices. I use tokens that look kinda like Chucky Cheese coins. Anyway,she will get 1 token put on her strip for everything she does that you tell her to.It could be anything!Getting her clothes on,letting you wash and brush her hair,picking her toys up,ext. Make sure you phrase her for everything she does!!! After she gets all 5 tokens on her strip she gets a reward. You could buy a bag of little candy bars and give her 1 for her reward. Anything you know she loves. My daughter is doing great on this,When I ask her to do something ..or NOT do something and she does not listen..I tell her I will take a token off..she does not like that at all! Remember to explain always..why it is not good mannors to do certain things,she is old enough to understand. If this works at home,ask the Head Start Teacher to do the same thing there. I'm sure they will.Good Luck!
2007-03-02 13:31:19 · answer #1 · answered by spoiledsarah25 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Control is the operative word, and she has it all. I don't have enough space to detail everything, but I will mention two things.
First, use isolation to improve her behavior. Explain to her that when she misbehaves she will have to sit in the naughty spot. Give her a warning each time; if she doesn't stop or do as she is told, take her to the naughty spot. There should be no stimulation there. If she leaves, quietly put her back. Do not talk to her or engage her. Each time she leaves, put her back. At first, it may take a long time, but eventually she will stay. Leave her there for three minutes, one minute for each year. Then explain again why she was left there, hug her and let her up. BE CONSISTENT, AND DON'T GIVE IN.
Secondly, she should be earning TV time by her behavior. Make a chart. When she behaves, she gets TV time. You can come up with a measurement process that fits her, but make sure she earns that TV time.
Hope this helps. Good luck!
2007-03-02 13:26:25 · answer #2 · answered by Terri J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
usually when kids act that way there is something bothering them. When she acts up and gets mean, don't react in the same matter she does to you. Let her know that you are there for her if she need to talk to you. Reasure her that you love her no matter what she does. When she does something good reward her, when she is bad take that reward away. What I mean is talk to your daughter and tell her that your going to be doing a chart, and this chart is going to be for you. When you have good behavior then you get a star, and if you have so many stars you get a reward at the end of the week. But if she has bad behivior then she gets stars taken away. Or you can reward her everyday with something that you know that she will like. You are the parent not her. When she is being mean do acknowledge that behavior, acknowledge the good behavior. She should change from being mean to wanting to be good. But you have to enforce the chart, you can't slip up and give her something for being bad, of feel guilty. Be strong. You can even use this for the bedtime problem. Tell her that everytime she sleeps in her own bed she gets a star, and at the end of the week add up the stars and ask her what she wants to either do or have for her sleeping in her own bed and being a big girl. Sooner or later she isn't even going to know that she is being good or sleeping in her own bed at a decent hour. I hope this help you out or gives you ideas on how to help her. God bless you and your family Good Luck
2016-03-16 03:22:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are two simoultaneous ways:
1) Being hard and showing who is who in the parents-daughter struggle for power: this is... a method in which you must have LOTS of patience.
Talk to her and explain the real reason of why you have determined a rule or an order that she must accomplish, if she doesn´t, then obly her to do it (even hold her strong, for example, make her stay still and don´t let her go; even if you cannot have fun with others, you may stay put with her as well -but thats not the idea-). Do it again and again until she starts reacting positively. Understanding that you are the authority.
2) The positive way: give responsabilities to her and REWARDS.
Along with her, determine accomplisahble goals, easy ones first and less easy ones as she makes progress. Example: This morning if you put on your T-Shirt an your pants WE will paint a nice yellow shining star and we will paste it on your rooms door; when you complete 3 stars, then you will have your favorite food, or I´ll take you to the movies or something like that.
That worked so right with my 4 year old boy. Thats how he started brushing his teeth each night (it was tough before!). But now, after 2 years and many, many symbolic, cheap for me and VERY valuable for him prizes.. HE BRUSHES by Himself!
2007-03-02 13:37:43 · answer #4 · answered by Juan Felipe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you considered there could be a medical reason that she wont behave? Talk to her doctor. It could be more then just her temperment.
2007-03-02 14:11:55 · answer #5 · answered by asimpledork 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
beat that a** that will get her in line real quick.i grew up getting spanked when it was necessary and im not in trouble now i am a contributing member of society once you do it she might think twice about getting out of hand use a strond voice and the 1 2 thats its im getting up if i get to 3 and if you do then pop that butt
2007-03-02 13:19:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋