I’ve been dating this guy for about four months now and he thinks that he’s going to prom with me in May and he also thinks I love him. I’ve tried breaking up with him and giving him hint that it was going to happen [not calling, not texting, not spending time] but when it came time he was shocked threw a fit and cried, I felt really bad and got back with him, but it’s just really NOT working out. He always touches me when I need space. Not to mention I’m not very attracted to him anymore. We know that our break-up is inevitable but he is still going to take it hard. I know no matter what he will be hurt but I don’t want the break up to be messy, I just want to end it… how do I explain to him that he’s “just not the one for me’ and there’s nothing either of us can do about it?
2007-03-02 11:46:55 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I recognize this situation so soo well. Some guys are like this, they are like puppydogs following you around everywhere and they say that they like you but really they are only seeking acknowledgement because they are insecure about themselves. They think "if I have a girlfriend I am worth something". They don't understand that they have to like themselves first. 'Cause who wants someone who doesn't even like themselves? And then they have the idiocy to actually blame others and say stuff like "you don't accept me as I am" or even worse "what do I have to do to change, tell me anything and I'll do it." gah.
I suggest you break up with him as soon as you can. Prolonging it will only make things worse. Be kind but firm. If he cries then stand your ground, I know how hard it is not to give in when someone gets emotional, but this is really the only way. Relationships are never easy. Make sure that he gets the message, that you just don't feel that way about him anymore. I advice you not to start arguing with him, even if he provokes you, it will only make things worse. Don't say more that you have to, don't stay longer than you have to. Make sure he gets the message and leave. I wish you luck! be brave girlfriend!
2007-03-02 12:17:14 · answer #1 · answered by loveless_sselevol 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OMG I just went through this problem a 2 months ago. What I did, was my ex thought it was love and was super clingy. Find a time when you're apart for awhile, say if you're in school, do it over March break. Try saying to him "I think we should call it quits and say its been fun" Trust me, he'll cry, and try and beg you to come back because its true love. Don't go for it, you've gotta be selfish here and do whats best for you.
And, if done over a break, theres a time apart so he'll have time to let it sink in better. I did it over text messaging, sometimes avoiding doing it in person is better so you arne't so easily guilted into it.
Be strong and don't fall for it, you deserve someone you enjoy being with.
Good luck hun! If you need more help I can tell you exactly what happened with me.
2007-03-02 11:53:48 · answer #2 · answered by toronto_leafs 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay.. well, this is what I have to say, Don't you two talk about your feeelings from time to time? I mean like, If he was your TRUE bf, you'd talk about your struggles and whatnot. You should stand up for yourself and tell the truth, or you will have to live on the same boat where you can't even catch the fish, if you know what I mean. You may hurt his feelings but it is for your benefit to learn that not everything you have you can keep forever. I had to hurt my ex-bf's feelings for the same reason..I just said, "Stop, I can't keep clingy to you like this and struggling, I really like you, but not that same way I used to feel about you in the beginning, if it's okay with you, i'd like to be friends with you but not more than that.. I hope you understand.." He'll of course be sad. but you've gotta work it, and overpower him, you can't let me overpower you, that's not right. Follow the heart, and not the thoughts and you'll accomplish a great future. I hope this helped you. :) I'm only 13. btw.
2007-03-02 11:59:17 · answer #3 · answered by Dreamer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go up to him sometime and tell him not to have a fit but you dont think you and him are right for eachother anymore and tell him how you feel. If he throws a fit (which is really immature) then just walk away he just needs to get over the fact that you dont like him. Or you could start hanging out with other guys just dont let it go to far for him to think you are cheating on him and stuff. You could also tlk to your friends and have them tlk to him or have his friends tlk to him for you.
2007-03-02 11:53:24 · answer #4 · answered by Marya L 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just do it. Letting things linger on is not helping anyone. If he is going to be hurt by a break up then that is what is going to happen but he will be more hurt by you pretending to like him when all the time you just want to get away. Tell him it is over and you are sorry but it is just not gonna work and you should both move on. and then do it.
2007-03-02 11:49:56 · answer #5 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Be as blunt and honest as possible. If you truly are through with him then you will have no emotional connection. Just say these exact words "(put name here), we're through. the laughs, the crys, the awkward moments, i loved them all. but i need to broaden my horizon. this is goodbye" then as you walk out think like you are in a movie and after you finish talking, you very cooly and calmly walk away and really cool, loud music starts jamming. and just leave him to cry like a baby on the floor.
2007-03-02 11:53:12 · answer #6 · answered by Chell - OH!!! 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hes probably just trying to stay with you to have a date to prom, so go make out with one of his friends or something that way he'll break up with you and other girls will feel sorry for him making it easy for him to get a date to prom.
2007-03-02 11:51:56 · answer #7 · answered by mopartimross 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have got to basically tell him what you told us. It is not working out, you and he are not meant to be, and he isn't taking you to the prom. Throwing a fit will not get you to relent, and you both need to move on. Then, no matter what he does, move on with your life. You need your space and obviously it needs to be clear of him.
2007-03-02 11:53:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Judt do it..quick like a band aide....it may hurt him but longer you drag it out the more it's going to hurt. it is much worse to hurt someone now than to go on in a relationship that you are not really into and hurt him much more later.
2007-03-02 11:53:47 · answer #9 · answered by sarah beth 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4 months isn't long,, You just get him by himself and let him know that it's over and that he isn't your type......... of course he will be hurt, but he will get over it..... sounds to me that he's fell in love with you......... but again if u have had sex with him it's gonna make it even worse ............ So your best bet is break it off clean,, and whatever u do don't tell him you just wanna be friends either. that won't help at all...
2007-03-02 11:57:41 · answer #10 · answered by BIG BEN 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋