Why does it tick me off?

Question

Why do people feel the need to make comments about my daughters weight? She is thin and in shape. I have told her how to reply to people who make comments and why they make them. But, it really burns me when they are telling a 12 year old that she is too thin. She was in gymnastics and now in swimming. She is very active. People don't realize comments they make to impressionable young girls or even boys, eating disorders are common for that age group. Why do they feel the need to make the comments?

These are grown adults making these comments.

Answer 1

I think these comments are so shocking that everyone around is so stunned they don't know what to say...so they don't say anything! Something really needs to be said! I guess that has to be you since no one else seems to be doing it. To avoid embarassing her, try calling those people when she's not around and let them know how inappropriate that is. They would never say that to a grown adult, and they have no right being that outright rude to her just because she is a child. Those people seriously need to learn some manners.

Answer 2

When I was your daughters age and even a bit older, I was tall (5'9") and very thin (110 to 125 over the course of a few years) and people were always making comments about me being so thin. I was very active in field hockey, track and swimming, I was burning off all the food that I was eating. I was in excellent health and was rarely sick. But, back when I was young, anorexia was either not recognized or not talked about. I was just teased about eating. Today, being a middle aged woman who has born children and has gained weight, I look back in envy of my thin days. You have every right to be angry and your daughter needs to know that people sometimes make comments thinking they are being helpful, when they are really being hurtful. You are raising your daughter right, too many girls her age and older obsess about their weight and do end up having an eating disorder. As long as you know that your daughter is eating right and is not obsessive about her weight, then ignore the ignorant people who think they need to make comments.

Answer 3

Don't worry, she'll start growing in all the right places. I was exactly the same. I was in ballet and swimming. I stayed in those sports till I graduated from highschool and I was so thin people used to think I was anarexic (sp) or belimic. I would eat all the time and not gain anything! It's frustrating I know. Once I reached 15 I started gaining some weight, got bigger boobs, everything just grew the way it was supposed to. If people make more comments about your daughter, make comments to that person, then ask how they like it. I'm probably not much help but good luck

Answer 4

Many people feel that commenting on a person's slim build is ok - they assume it will be taken as a compliment. How wrong they are!

My mom is 56, healthy, 5'3" and just over 100 lbs, as she has been her entire adult life. She is active, happy and has three healthy children and a loving husband (my dad). She always deals with friends and strangers telling her she's "so thin" and needs to eat more and "put some meat on her bones." It really ticks her off! She's gotten to the point where she completely ignores the comment. Usually, when people don't get a response, it gives them a moment to let their phrases echo in their heads, so that they might realize their comment was out of line.

Commenting on another's physical appearance is almost never appropriate. (Other than "I like your new haircut", etc.)

Answer 5

As a fair skinned person, people frequently mention how white I am. I can't imagine ever commenting on someones skin color in a negative way!
My son is also thin. People used to make the same type of comments and it would hurt his feelings. Once when my mom asked why he was so skinny, I asked her how'd she feel if he asked her why she was so chunky. Probably not the nicest thing to do but she got the point.

Answer 6

First of all, I agree with you in the fact that you're mad, I probably would be too. In answer to your question 'Why do people make comments about my daughter's wieght' here are some possible reasons:
1. Their jealous (or they really do admire your daughter's fitness)
this is their way of admitting it
2. Their concerned (maybe your daughter ought to be eating better or they want to make sure)
3. They want to see your reaction (your daughter is standing out, and they want to know about it. call it nosy, mean whatever)

Obviously, if anyone starts questioning your daughter or yourself about it you have figured out what to do. But the whole too skiny issue should be taken as a compliment. After all, she's still healthy. Best wishes to you and your daughter.

Answer 7

If you want to protect your child from people's comments about her weight, you may have to let the adults know that you don't like the comments they are making about your daughter. Sometimes people talk without thinking. Continue to talk to your daughter, reasure her that she's okay. I think that a lot of people think that being obese is healthy, which that's not the case.

Answer 8

my best friend is very thin as well (she is 5/9 and 98 pounds) alot of people thinks she does not eat or is bilimic. Wich she is not she eats and eats and eats then goes and trains at our martail art masters. I bet you these adults are ether jelious or the THINK she has a eating disorder. calmely exsplain to them your daughter is Very active and in perfict health.

Answer 9

I feel your pain. Some thought are meant to stay in people's minds. Tell your daughter she's perfect,often.

Answer 10

flat out kids are mean
they feel if someone is different something must be wrong with them even if there is nothing. kids feel they have to make things up to make THEM feel better at the expense of your daughter.
tell your duaghter to ignor them and soon they will leave her alone also pertty so most of them will grow out of it