Do you think it's harmful to threaten a 2 year old with a stuffed monkey to get him to behave??Like when he won't let you take his temp or is throwing a screaming hissy-fit in an inappropriate place? For some weird reason he is scared of monkeys and us saying "I'll get the monkey" is very effective whereas time-outs, butt-pops, and other offers of reward/threat have been ineffective.
2007-03-02 11:15:01 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I think it's sad and a little funny...but I don't think there's anything wrong with it...
it's no different than my mother telling me "I'm gonna get the belt!!" That always settled me right down.
You aren't beating him, You aren't mistreating him...I think it's fine.
Time outs are lame, smacking his butt in public will probably get you several dirty looks now a days...screw it...if "The Monkey" does the trick...more power to you...I could think of worse forms of punishment I've seen parents pull in public.
2007-03-02 11:38:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
We knew this guy in his 50's that could not walk in to a childs bedroom because it had a clown alphabet poster and a toy clown on the book shelf........he doesn't even know why he freaks out, he has not even watched scary movies with clowns in them. If this is because of something that happened when he was a child could make sense so I am assuming that if your child really is scared of the monkey, it may make more sense to stop using it as a threat, keep it away from him for a while and reintroduce it later as something friendly, you don't want to be creating a phobia in him that may stick with him for the rest of his life.
Is it possible instead to have a portable cot that he cannot climb out of and use that for his time out until he is old enough to understand time out in a chair. He is only 2 so 2 minutes of time out should be sufficient. Just remember consistency is the key. It is not just discipline when you feel like it but every time he misbehaves.
Just recently our nearly 2 year old grandson started throwing big wobblies and hitting. We now firstly get him to hug and say sorry to the person he has hit, but if he won't then it is 2 minutes in the portable cot....it has been working well because we have been consistent with it.
It is a difficult age and a most enjoyable age all rolled in to one.
Good luck.
2007-03-02 19:29:08 · answer #2 · answered by like to help 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that is a good technique. Find a different approach. Think about it like this, your child thinks that mommies can do anything. You are supposed to be his comforter. For instance, if you had a prison guard telling you if you don't do as I tell you I'll let this rapist out on you, you would start to develop a real fear of rapists and prison guards. You may dream about them, etc... You don't want your child to be fearful and have bad dreams. You should want your child to feel safe with you. It will backfire on you. He may grow up thinking the only reason he should obey rules is if he will be harmed if he doesn't - then when he realizes there is no monkey then what does that say. He may not have any respect for rules because he doesn't think the punishment will happen. SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND DO WHAT YOU SAY YOUR GOING TO DO.
2007-03-02 19:31:08 · answer #3 · answered by Angel D 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You would be suprised at how many people use that method - and they do it because it works. I wouldnt keep doing with the monkey though cause it could effect him when he gets older but instead tak something away from him that he likes. Yes you might not have that thing with you at the time, but first give him a warning of what he will not be able to have or do if he is naughty, then if he continues, tell him he won't be getting it anymore and explain to him why. It may not sink in to him at the time, but when he gets home and wants that thing he was told he couldnt have, explain to him again why he is not getting it - and don't give in. It will take a little time for understand that if he is naughty he wont get to do things he likes, but eventually he will learn not to do it. It sounds abit like blackmale but children have to learn.
2007-03-02 19:44:36 · answer #4 · answered by answers 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes it is harmful. Please read some books on non-coercive parenting. Some good ones are "Raising Your Spirited Child", "Easy to Love Difficult to Discipline" and "Positive Discipline"
Raising children to behave out of fear is ineffective to say the least. You have to keep changing threats and pretty soon they learn to pick on those smaller than them, just as they have been picked on.
Seriously, if fear based punishment worked, we wouldn't have jails crowded to overflowing with the children whose parents, and then society couldn't scare them straight.
Children learn respect by being shown respect. How would you like an employer to threaten you with a monkey, or a spanking when he wanted you to perform in a certain manner. Seriously why do we treat children in ways we would NEVER allow ourselves to be treated?
P.S. i highly reccomend investing in a temporal artery forehead thermometer. my 2 y.o. LOVES ours and is far less invasive and more accurate than other methods!-)
2007-03-02 19:44:17 · answer #5 · answered by Terrible Threes 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think it would be harmful (mentally) for your child it would be like you having arachniphobia (sorry i cant spell it but fear of spiders anyway) and someone finding a spider and either putting it on you or threatening to throw it at you
if anything i think you should be trying to teach him that there is nothing wrong with monkeys and how beautiful they are or can be..... also do you know why he is scared of them if not then it really isnt a good idea to scare him more there may be something deeply disturbing about them to him and you are making it worse..... keep trying time outs, smacks etc persistance pays off take things he likes away instead like i take my sons dvd player etc away or we take some money out of his jar ( hes 4 ) but he knows
2007-03-02 19:31:04 · answer #6 · answered by sherice r 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No not a good idea. Put him in the naughty chair and tell him he has to stay there for 10 minutes. If he gets out of the chair, put him back till he gets the idea. Then when he stays for the 10 minutes, hug him and tell him you love him, also telling him that Mommy wants him to be a good boy. Then at bedtime, read him a story and kiss him goodnight.
2007-03-02 19:30:32 · answer #7 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes it is harmful to threaten ur 2 yr old with anything. i can cause the child to have a philological problem later in life
2007-03-02 19:20:34 · answer #8 · answered by Sweet Mama 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
sweety that is the worse thing u can do to ur child, i have 4 of them and trying anything else is better, doing it now may and can scar him/her for life and he/she will end up on maury someday.Good lucj with this and plz for ur childs sake stop it and take him to the zoo
2007-03-02 19:24:14 · answer #9 · answered by Robin D 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
How would you feel if someone was exploiting a phobia of yours to get you to obey them? It's just plain mean.
2007-03-02 22:24:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋