My mom, dad and brother get in blow outs constantly about how my brother is a bad kid and crap like that. He really is a good kid, he doesn't smoke, drink, and he's never had a girlfriend or anything. He's eighteen and has his own car. they are mad because he goes out with his friends like once in a blue moon. They (parents) are so strict, i'm not allowed to wear pants to school, and i'm from a muslim family, but all my other muslim friends wear pants, so i decided to borrow some from a friend. my mom found out aboiut them and totally went histerical!!! she said i have no self respect and all that. plus she read my diary and got mad because of the guy i like, she thinks that liking guys is a sin and crap like that but its really not, because all the other muslims i know are allowed to do things when i can't even wear a pear of pants without getting yelled at. my dad says i don't show any respect for my mom but i do, i do all her chores and translate, how can i deal with all this?
2007-03-02 10:45:52 · 4 answers · asked by Green 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You are being pulled by two cultures. I can't imagine being in such a tough spot.
It's too bad your parents haven't recognized how great their children are. They are very lucky. I wish I had better advice but all I can say is try to strike a balance. You sound like a bright young lady and I'm sure you can fake it for a few more years. Good luck.
2007-03-02 10:55:11 · answer #1 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a tough question to answer, but, I will try to help you out a little. If as you say you come from a Muslim Family, and they are very strict as to showing you and your Brother what to do or not do.You do not mentioned how old you are, but I am going to assume you are a teenager, and even though you know the rules your Parents have for you and your Brother,it is hard for both of you to abide by their rules. if I were you I would bear with your Parents until you are old enough to move away from you House, because as it is you cannot do anything if they do not give you permission to it. It must be harder for your Brother since he is a boy that needs to go out and at least pass the time with his friends. I am a mother,grandmother,and a great grandmother that has always tried to listen and be a friend to my kids, and not try to run their lives, or make them into something that would make them unhappy as the way your Parents are doing to you two. I care, and I hope that in the future your Parents will see that what they are doing to you, and your Brother, Is not going to make you want to be with them for long.
2007-03-02 11:09:03 · answer #2 · answered by a.vasquez7413@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being caught between two cultures as well as religious dominance. As you live in America, and will be raising your own children to more modern standards, this conflict will last as long as your parents do. While the demands they follow, obviously don't fit in with to-day's life style, they will not change. All you can do, is follow the dictates of the home, so long as you live there. The best and only way that I can see, is for you to learn enough to get a job and be self supporting and move out.Your brother seems like a wonderful son, but your father's tirades are undermining this relationship. We do not need this clan situation here, where every stranger is seen as a threat, and father's word is a law. Respect works two ways, and it is time for your parents to realize that fact. Part of living in a new country is adapting and learning to live with the new ways. Sometimes it takes a couple of generations, but meanwhile, you should try and fit in with your own age group, they will outlast your parents. You will have to make your own way, so challenge your father with facts of everyday American styles, and explain to him that you don't want to be left out. My best wishes to you.
2007-03-02 11:08:10 · answer #3 · answered by tylernmi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Muslim. Figures.
2007-03-02 11:28:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋