I'm seeing his parents tonight, nervous.?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been dating 2 years and his parents live across the country from where we live, and they are in town until Monday and we'll be having dinner with them tonight. His parents make me feel REALLY uncomfortable. We're both in our mid twenties and his parents treat him like a baby - so needless to say no one is ever going to be good enough for their "little boy." And although we both went to the same ivy league college and work in the same field- they still see him as "better." How do I get around the uncomfort factor and relax around them? And I don't dislike them, I just want them to look at me as the woman their son is 95% going to marry and not "that girl he lives with". =(

Answer 1

take deep breaths and beyour self and smile you will do fine.

Answer 2

Eeek! That's a toughie. Be sure to let your boyfriend know how nervous you are. Maybe set up a secret signal so if you're feeling too pressured he can make some sort of excuse to get you out of the room for a while so you can calm down again. Hubby and I left something in his car, so if I felt stressed out, I could say, "Oh, honey, I'm cold! Can we go get my sweater quickly?" and we could take five minutes to regroup. Fortunately it never came to that and I LOVE my in-laws.

Try and pick a restaurant that you know and like so you'll be more comfortable. It'll probably be easier to have dinner somewhere else than entertain them at home. If they are coming to your home, suggest going out afterwards for coffee or dessert. Being in public gives you more to talk about. Also, keep in mind that he picked you, not them. Be polite, smile a lot, but keep telling yourself you're not obliged to like them. You're just obliged to keep things civil and after Monday they will be on the other side of the country again.

Just remember that you already have something in common with them: You want what is best for him.

Good luck! You can survive this!

Answer 3

Not to drag your b/f's parents in the dirt, but I think it's safe to say that they are just human, have made mistakes of their own, and may even have things hidden 'in the closet' so to speak, that they wouldn't want let out in the open. No one is perfect, that's for sure. The fact that you are thinking about this shows me that you're a fairly sensitive person, you want to show who you really are without putting on a fake smile, and that's understandable. That's why you need to relax and enjoy the moment. Listen to me, I can't even do that....lol

Answer 4

My advice is to talk with you boyfriend before the dinner and tell him how you feel about his parents.Then ask him if he would tell his parents that HE thinks you are uncomfortable around them because of the way they treat you.(try to leave out that you asked him to do this. One thing to consider before asking him to do this is how he feels about his parents treating him like a child. Is he an only child? that could have something to do with it.If he doesn't see things the way you do you need to talk to him more about how you feel.

Answer 5

Just be yourself. Let your personality win them over. Remember, they are human and that is their "baby". Snobs are snobs no matter what, and that I am afraid you are unable to change. If you can't win them over, too bad that is their problem, NOT yours. When you have something to say, just say it. As the relationship progresses you will find the brass to tell them in a nice way how it is. How does your b/f feel about how they treat you or is he oblivious to this fact?

Answer 6

You have too many preconceived ideas about what they are going to be like. Leave those ideas at home when you go to meet them. Be confident, courteous, personable; keep the conversation light; show interest in what they are saying. Good luck.

Answer 7

Be respectfull and polite. Don't be turned off by their coddling. Enjoy yourself and don't worry about your self-image. Let them see you how they want to. Your boyfriend knows who you are, and he is the one that counts.