What do I do when people think my son is just a child I'm babysitting/my brother?

Question

I have a year and a half year old mildly autistic son, and when I take him to the store, I either get dirty looks for being such a young mother, [I'm only 16, long story about how Jacen was conceived, I don't really want to talk about it] or I get people asking who I'm babysitting for, or where our mother is, to ask her how old he is, how badly his autism is, that stuff. . After I tell them Jacen is mine, they give me dirty looks or say how cute he is. I love my Jacen, and wouldn't change anything, he is such a happy baby, and he's loved by everyone. Why do i get so much opposition? What do I say to people who don't like the idea of such a young mother?

Answer 1

You can't blame them for being confused. The natural assumption would be that Jacen is your bother, or your babysitting him.

People should not be giving you dirty looks, but for a 14 or 15 year old to be having a child does mean that something went terrably wrong. You will sometimes be able to see that on their face.

And some will view things more optimistically and see how a child (you 2 years ago) became a responsible young woman when the need arose. And they will be proud of you for that. As I am.

Answer 2

Hey things happen..... as long as you are taking care of your child and being the best mother you can be then don't worry about it.... After all my grandmother had her first child when she was 16 and this was the norm back then... Just kindly smile and say he is my son and I love him, it doesn't matter how old you are if your child has something that draws attention it doesn't matter what it is it could be the color of their eyes, just be kind and know that you are a great mother and the perfect mother for Jacen no matter what..... I still get looks and I am 27 but I have 4 children so I must have started young; so everyone thinks.. let them think

Answer 3

I see answers that say dress older, answer them, etc. My opinion is ignore them and keep walking. You are sweet Jacens mother and no one has a right to question you weather you are 16 or 36. You keep your head and and keep being you. Your baby seems to be just fine with his very caring mommy. The people that feel they have the right to your business is wrong!!! When they give you dirty looks for being so young, turn around and say...well, I will be older one day...will you ever stop being ugly!!!
Bet you that keeps them from getting in to your business again. Good luck to you and keep doing what you are doing right now. Never change yourself. You are perfect the way that you are.

Answer 4

Just smile, answer their questions and move away from them. You would have people judging you and raising eyebrows at any age, sweetie...motherhood is unfortunately the one area everyone else has an opinion on.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what people think of you or your son, you know you are being the BEST mom you can be, stuff what anyone thinks...their opinions don't matter. All that matters is that Jacen has a loving home and family, and I'm sure you provide that.

Let others think what they want, be the best you can be, and hold your head up high.

Answer 5

Just politely smile and walk away... you cant change their views on having a baby at such a young age... but that you will not get as many looks when you and your baby gets older... I had the same problem although i didnt let it bother me that i was a young mommy... I am 21 and have 3 little girls ages 4,3, and 1 years old! =) I know where you are coming from, but dont let it bother you, Your baby is worth more than some nasty looks that you get from strangers you will never see again in your life =) Good luck sweety!

Answer 6

Don't even let them get to you. You will come across a lot of judgemental people, just take everything they say with a grain of salt.

Just know that you are doing everything the best you can for him, and you obviously love him very much.

Best Wishes for you and Jacen!

Answer 7

I was pregnant when I was 19. I am 24 now and people constantly call my daughter my little sister. It doesn't help that I look really young. Or that my little girl is practically my clone! I was actually HIT by an old woman while I was pregnant with her purse!!!! Don't worry about it and just be glad that no matter what the circumstances were that God has blessed you with a gift of life. Take good care of him and yourself because you are the only people that really matter.

Keep your chin up!

Answer 8

No matter what we do or don't do, people are going to judge us. Unfortunately this society thrives on judging others. Just look at what the tabloid magazines do to stars.

You need to be proud of yourself that you stepped up to the plate and are raising your son. Don't let others judgements affect how you feel about yourself. Those who judge are really just insecure people anyway looking for a way to put down others so they can feel better about themsleves.

I am a mother of two and although I am married I chose not to wear a wedding ring. I also choose not to dress nice or wear make up. People constantly look at me and stare, ask where the father is, etc. I really don't care what they think of me because the bottom line is I will probably never see those people again in my life. They will also probably never remember me either. It was just a moment of time that someone judged me without knowing me or my situation.

My advice to you is to love yourself, be proud, and not let others judgements affect how you feel about yourself. You will probably never see those people in your lifetime again.

Answer 9

Number one, don't dress your age. Dress a little older. If you wear facial jewelry you might tone that down. People can't accept anything these days. Ignore the stares and rude comments. Thank people even if they don't deserve it. "Thank you for your interest but this is my baby. Have a good day." Move along. You don't have to take it, you are the parent and you control the situation at every turn.
Its hard anyway being a parent and its more hard to deal with the unkind stares and comments. You have to be above them. Put your chin in the air and walk away. Good Luck!

Answer 10

You don't owe them an explanation. It's hard enough for teenagers to have a child without people puting their two cents in. I made it my personal mission to fight that stereotype without saying a word about it. To prove that a young woman can be responsible, loving, and most of all a good mother. If you know that your doing your best by that child, noone has a right to say anything.