I'm trying to get this to work out the best way possible...I love this girl, so I want to avoid any further problems, but right now she wont talk to me, she wont respond to any contact I try to have, and she wont let me be any part of this pregnancy. I understand that the baby isn't born yet so there is not much I can do about it, but I was wondering if there was anything that may help.
Basically she doesn't want me around because we end up fighting...of course the fighting is usually caused by her telling me that she doesn't want me to be around...anyways, I understand we are in an interesting position, but I think that resolving certain things now would make a better situation for the baby when it is born. Although, she is pregnant so I know she is only trying to keep away from the stress as much as possible.
Anyways, I'm sure you will all have some ideas on how to make this a little easier, all I want to do is be a part of our son's life.
2007-03-02 10:15:25 · 10 answers · asked by Erik 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
okay, just a little bit of feedback on the answers so far. First off thanks to everyone who has tried to answer.
Alright, so I'm 100% sure that I am the father...you guys obviously watch too much tv =P
Anyways, I have tried writting letters, sending flowers...I have actually done some 'baby shopping' with her...and I've told her that I would like to be involved in it. But then a few weeks after things started getting better she decided she didn't want me around...we fought about it a bit and she hasn't talked to me since. And I have tried to contact her...so I'm giving her some time...its been almost two weeks.
2007-03-02 10:58:45 · update #1
I am really glad to hear a question such as this, you sound like you will make this best out of this situation and make a great father. I commend you on your efforts, dealing with a pregnant woman under typical circumstances can be tough, so I know you are really taking a lashing!
Speaking from experience (I separated from my husband at around 4 months pregnant) and I recall how intense my feelings were about him. First realize she feels some level of resentment, even if things were going smoothly resentment to some degree is normal. When things go sour and your pregnant it really is a smack in the face, because its not like you can "just get on with your life", I mean you feel stuck in limbo, with this constant reminder. She is angry and scared and theres no way to fix it (in her book, right now). And truthfully, I don't know what you could say to really make her feel any better. It's hard to deal with a baby coming and also deal with a break-up... Invite her to go shopping for baby room stuff, since she does not want your emotional support right now, you can still give it by helping financially and lifting that burden. Contribute to getting her ready for the baby, pamper her with that sort of stuff, that will make her feel better even if she doesn't admit it at the time.
Best of luck to you...and I'm sure with your dedication things will work out.
2007-03-02 10:45:08 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Instead of trying to be around her, surprise her. Send her flowers, cards, chocolate, etc. Maybe if you do some things to try to brighten her days without calling or visiting (respecting her wishes) then maybe she will realize that you really want to help and not hurt. Being hard headed and doing what you know she doesn't want you to do is going to make things worse. If you actually stay away she will probably be curious to what you're up to.
2007-03-02 10:21:23 · answer #2 · answered by jennymustafa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are really serious, talk to a lawyer immediately. When the baby is born you can establish paternity with a test, and establish your rights and rights of custody. You will also be responsible for child support if you get joint custody.
2007-03-02 10:24:17 · answer #3 · answered by chelebeee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
probably hormones my mom didnt stay with either of her husbands through her pregnancies she had two with the first husband and left him both times then 2 with the next husband and left him both times too i almost left my husband cause i was so hormonally jacked up and he didnt do anything wrong just wait it out and keep buying stuff for the baby and sending it to her so she can see your still trying
2007-03-03 15:55:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are not the daddy. Get a court order to have the child DNA tested when it is born. If you are the daddy, then you will have to support the child and she will have to let you have access to the child.
If you are not the daddy then get over it and leave her alone.
2007-03-02 10:23:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you the same ex-fiance some pregnant lady posted about yesterday, who hits her and she had to get out because of the safety of her baby?
2007-03-02 10:40:04 · answer #6 · answered by P. K. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hire an attorney. If you can't do that find a legal aid near you as soon as the baby is born.
2007-03-02 10:23:04 · answer #7 · answered by Spring loaded horsie 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just leave her alone for awhile than after time to cool down go to her and talk to her that you want to be in hers and your child's life
2007-03-02 14:23:52 · answer #8 · answered by marie_worriedpregnanywithnoone16 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She probably doesn't want you around because she wants to hang with the baby daddy.
2007-03-02 10:24:21 · answer #9 · answered by squeaky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hormones she probably just emotional that all, try to avoid fussing and making her upset. she come around sooner or later to talk...
2007-03-02 10:30:16 · answer #10 · answered by birdsdafly 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋