Comings to terms with reality see question below?

Question

Death is a part of life and there is mourning invloved. My dad has had a series of strokes due to type 2 diabetes, he is very complaint with the doctors and follows his diet. He will be 73 soon and he is not what he used to be, he has slowed down a lot and because of the strokes there was damage in his tongue muscles, and I have noticed that he is getting frail and little by little fading away. It is only a matter of time before he passes away. I live very far away from my dad. I call him and I write him letters and he is my prizefighter and my angel from heaven that God sent to me He is such an inspiration to me.

My question is how do I come to terms when the time does come. How can I make sure I stay strong and dont relapse ( I have a mental condition) What are good ways to get through the mourning, and how do I go on. This has been really boethering me latley so I thought I would ask this question.

Answer 1

I'm hoping because you are in the Religion and Spirituality section that your dad is a Christian and knows Jesus Christ. If he does when he dies he'll be kicking up gold dust. Hanging around pearly white gates with his friends that went to heaven ahead of him. People who have died and came back to earth say the colors in heaven are more beautiful than any colors we see on earth, plus heaven has more colors. They say the music is nothing that has ever been heard on earth. The sound of the angel's wings are music themselves. The warmth and the light is magnificent and not blinding at all like we have on the earth. They say you aren't aware that anyone is missing when you are in heaven and your family and friends that went ahead of your dad greet you when you first arrive. They say the senses are 10 times better. The eyes see better. The ears hear better. The touch is softer, harder or translucent. Smell is wonderful, etc.
The trees, the flowers and the water is different, but you know that is what they are. Never more aware or more tuned in than ever before in their life. I read books on heaven and people that have gone to heaven. The greatest thing is you fear nothing. You hesitate about nothing. You know you are accepted and loved and provided for. It has to be a wonderful place because the friends and family that they met were very happy there.

Now, one more thing - go see your dad, love him and tell him that you love him very much. Call him often or write him something each day this way you will know that you did all you could do. When it happens you will hang on to Jesus because He will be right there with you. Keep your eyes on Him. Stay in His Word, the Holy Bible and let Him speak to your heart. Jesus will get you through.

This is how I did it with my mom. Dad passed when I was young.
This is how I did it with my daughter's pancreas and kidney transplant from Type I Diabetes from age 11. My heart goes out to you, but when you lose your earthly father, your heavenly Father will take His place and carry you. Have faith in Jesus and let Him see you through.

Answer 2

It is hard to answer this question as I may sound insensitive. But, I wish to help you as I am able.

First, your dad as you said is a great man. But, he is just a man. There is one who is better and if I am not mistaken the source of your fathers strength. Seek that commonality.

Second, do not push him into a grave until he is cold. Continue to live in his love and learn all you can about this man. Leave nothing unsaid or undone. If you can take vacation time visit and do so in person.

Finally, you are apart from your Dad right now and have not relapsed into your mental condition. I would be remiss if I did not say that if you did it would be a crutch and a way of not dealing with his passing. Do not disrespect him or the God who gave him to you.

Grief counseling would be of help too and you should see if your Church has such a program. Lean on your friends and other family members.

Remember the best gift you can give your Father is to be happy and live. Also, if he is set, he is merely dying and that is not the end of the story but the beginning of a new life in Christ where he will become as God meant for him to be.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

I really don't know what to tell you, that's a tough question. As you said, death is a part of life, but we'll never get used to it because we weren't created to die. Just live everyday as if it was a big prize, because it really is, and be thankful for it. Do you know the difference between your dad's state and yours before God? It doesn't exist. This may sound weird, but there is the possibility that you pass away before he does. I don't even know if I'll be alive in five minutes time! I know it's hard, I hope God gives you strenght to carry on.

Answer 5

We must realize the fact that whatever is here will not remain for ever. Everything is changing constantly. So if life is here death is inevitable. In fact our body cells are dying each moment however it is compensated by new ones. We do not remain the same just after a moment. So, however lovable, dear or inspirational one may be he has to die. This is nature and can not be changed. You must accept this fact. It is believed that the energy within our self which keeps us alive takes a new form after death. So you can console yourself by these thoughts and be prepared to accept the realities of the universe.

Answer 6

I have cases of major clinical depression. When my great grandmother died i definitly felt the aftermath but I never relapsed. Make sure that you get everything (guilt and memories)across with him while he is still alive. The more you do now to make yourself happy about your relationship with him, the less guilt you will feel when he passes. As long as you guys are on good terms and happy before he dies, you will be much better in the long run. Get to know that his life was fulfilled and that he will be happier and healthier once he passes over.

Answer 7

I don't know that there's really any way to make it feel any better. You just have to get on with life and live with the sadness. The immediate grief will fade over the years. What else is there to say? Death is sad but everyone dies, you can only accept it.

Answer 8

It doesn't matter how old you are, losing a parent is never easy. My dad died when i was 12, my mum when I was 22. I took it no better than people who lost parents when they were in their 40s, 50s or 60s.

There comes a point in life when we just have to square our shoulders, and get on with things. Don't forget, your dad lost his parents. Did he collapse? No, he got on with his life. We just have to do it, because there is no alternative.

Remember what he has done for you, he can still be your rock, because you will remember all the things he taught you.

Answer 9

Honey, I feel your pain. We lost my Dad 2 years ago to West Nile Virus, following a 6 month illness.
I'll try to find the words to explain how we dealt with the dying process, but first I want to say this:
Dad and I were very close. I still feel his presence everyday, 2 years later. I know he is here with me. I talk to him and ask for his guidance. Many times I awaken after a hard night and find there is a resolution to my situation. I believe my Dad gave this to me.
Over the last 14 months, I have made major positive changes in my life. With each step forward, I think of my Dad and how proud he would be to see me in this new place of joy and happiness. I honestly believe he has sent me many of these "gifts" which have brought me such joy.
I think of him and speak of him often. I try to honor him in my behavior.
Stay strong for yourself, Honey. But do allow yourself to grieve. I was baking cookies one day when it all hit me. I ran to the bedroom and allowed myself to SOB out loud and at length.
Don't deny yourself this.
Make your Dad proud. You can do it.
Save my ID, and contact me anytime, please.

Answer 10

I lost a loved one suddenly and without warning. My friends and family became my strength and we relied on each other to get us through it. I have been told that no matter how much you think you are prepared for a death of a loved one, nothing really prepares you for it. I think you may need to just face it head on when it happens, and don't be afraid to lean on others for support.